


Odyssey Into Hell

by xXVahaHarenXx



Series: Into Hell Series [1]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Casual Sex, F/M, Implied/Off Stage Torture, Season/Series 01, Season/Series 02, Sexual Content, Violence, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2017-11-14 23:12:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 41
Words: 89,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXVahaHarenXx/pseuds/xXVahaHarenXx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She saved his ass and joined forces with the group back in Atlanta but hey, you never know when a half Irish, machete wielding, veteran Royal Marine and Sniper traveling in a black T-Top with a pitbull and harboring a dark secret or three might come in handy. (Revamped Version)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Walking Dead and its characters belong to their respective owners, which is not me but I do however own Neon, Spud and other characters that are my own creation and not part of the Walking Dead universe. I am merely borrowing the characters for my own amusement and storytelling purposes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are again back at the start. I got the boxed set of seasons 1, 2 & 3 and it kind of reignited my desire to write Neon and Daryl (And my new pup has given me a new lease on my life) so I decided to completely overhaul/revamp the story and refine Neon's character a little, she's still the same old Neon but with a bit more of a natural speech pattern and a bit more flawed human instead of Mrs. Badass. I've also toyed with her story and history a little so yeah, have a read and tell me what you think (I still have the original in 1st person but I'm not keen on continuing with the 1st person aspect). I'm just going to be replacing the chapters I've done so far instead of deleting the entire thing and reposting it. So thank you all for sticking with me (and welcome to all the newbies that have joined us) while I've been going through various bullshit in my personal life and hopefully I'll be back up and updating this story regularly now. (I want to post every few days to give myself time to edit upcoming chapters, work on the next installment, and to give myself some downtime so I don't burn myself out.)

Daryl panted as he sprinted down the deserted Atlanta street, his calves burning as he tried to outrun the ten strong pack of walkers that were hot on his heels. He chanced a glance back over his shoulder at the group, the urge to try and take them on was there but with only three arrows left he had to keep running and just hope to all hell he still had enough strength left to jam an arrow in his own head when he eventually got caught. He tried to drown out their vicious growls and gurgles from his mind by overloading it with anything he could think of the wilderness, hunting, hot women; anything would do. Both he and Merle had ventured into the infested city for supplies, theirs back at camp had been starting to running low, and he'd figured it was worth trying to visit the hunting store they'd scouted out, but in a sudden fraction of a second they'd been ambushed by a pack of walkers. At first it had only been just the one then other's had joined in forcing them to split up; Merle taking off in one direction with a good chunk of the walkers chasing him leaving him to head in the other direction with the rest of them.

He grunted as he hit the ground hard, his calf ablaze with pain as the muscles contracted taunt, and he glanced back at the walkers instinctively reached for his knife before remembering that he'd lent it to Merle right before they'd been ambushed. He scrambled to his hands and knees in an attempt to flee, he wasn't going down without a fight but with no weapons he was a goddamn goner. He twisted scrambling again for his crossbow that had fallen several feet from his reach, pain still searing through the cramped muscles in his leg as he twisted grabbing for his crossbow again and rolled onto his back ready to try and club them only to witness each walker in turn stop cold, head's forced back as bullet's ripped through them. The first one's neck broke from the force, the bone snapping through the skin of its neck as the back of its head exploded taking blood and whatever was left of its decaying brain with it, another four followed suit in the seconds afterwards before a brief second or two interlude allowed the other's to draw a few steps closer before they too joined the rest of their downed brethren.

He lay back panting on the ground, chest heaving with each breath as he tried to figure out what had just happened. His head snapped towards the black T-top that swung around in front of him and he briefly wondered if it was Merle's doing. He struggled to swallow the thick salvia in his mouth as the passenger door swung open. "Hurry up saighdeoir and get the fuck in before more shufflers show up," The woman in the driver's seat threw him a haphazard grin. "You can thank me later"

He scrambled into the car grabbing his crossbow along the way and spitting curses at the pain that raced through his lower leg. "Who the fuck're you?"

She looked over at him, an eyebrow arching slightly from behind a pair of blue mirror aviators, her lips quirking at the corner into a faint smirk. "The lass that just saved your life so show some fuckin' respect" She stated resting one hand on gearstick as she hit the gas tearing off down the street in the direction she'd come from.

"That still don't answer my question"

"What's it to you anyway?"

"All right Neon, no need to get all up in arms about it"

"Neon?" She queried with a cock of her head and he motioned to the bright neon green paracord bracelet strapped around her wrist, her fingers brushed over it. "At least it's semi original," She murmured shrugging lightly. "So what's your name?"

"Daryl"

"Daryl, huh?" A grin spread across her lips. "I think I like saighdeoir better," He was about to question the name until a deep woof echoed from the back seat earning a laugh from the woman as he shot around to look and found a gnarled looking sandy brown pitbull staring back at him. "And that's Spud"

Daryl assessed the dog just as it seemed to be doing to him, it had white markings splashed across its throat, chest and underbelly with old scars littering its entire body. "Spud? What kinda fuckin' name is Spud?"

"His" She jerked her head towards the dog before turning down another street. "So what the hell are you doin' out here alone anyway? I mean, shit, I'm half way fuckin' barmy so I have an excuse"

"I was out here with my brother, got jumped by a pack of geeks so we had to split" He explained slowly turning back in his seat.

She nodded slowing the car to a halt before throwing it into reverse, the back end bouncing slightly as she reverse into a small alcove and slotted the '82 TransAm between a delivery truck and a roller door. "Come on, it's gettin' too late to go find your brother, best hope is that he finds somewhere to hold up for the night or makes it back to wherever the hell you crawled out from" She stated sliding out of the car, grabbing a canvas pack and a rifle from the backseat, and slipped through a small side door into the building, her pitbull following suit.

He followed after her and stepped inside the building looking around. "So this is home, is it?"

The woman he'd nicknamed Neon snorted softly. "Boston was home, this is just a stopover in my travels," She seemed somewhat bitter as she spoke and he watched her check the other door into the small loading dock, he assumed the door led into the main part of the building since it had been barricaded up with heavy wooden crates. "She's not much but she's cosy enough for a night or two," Her eyes landed on the leg he was rubbing. "You get bit?"

He shook his head. "Pulled a fuckin' muscle"

"Show me," His head snapped up to find the barrel of a Smith and Wesson stealth hunter aimed only a few millimetres from his forehead, he hadn't even heard her move to her position in front of him. "I'm not takin' a chance on your word, we only just met" He yanked up the leg of his jeans to show her his calf and she inspected it before giving a nod and uncocking the gun dropping it away from his forehead. "So where's home base?" She queried as she turned away and grabbed her pack hauling it up onto a nearby crate.

"Quarry, just outside of the city" He spoke without thinking and immediately berated himself for letting the location slip. She made a soft noise to show she'd heard him as she rifled through the canvas pack before a bottle of pills landed in his lap and an unopened bottle of water rolled across the floor.

"Should help with the pain" She said as she moved back over to him and settled down a comfortable distance away before placing two bowls on the ground and tearing into one of the packets in her hands. He watched as she mixed the contents of the packet before holding the first bowl out to him, he hesitated to take it. "M.R.E, I raided most of the military outposts on my way down here"

He took the bowl and looked down into it before finally deciding to dig into it and then began to watch silently as she laid three guns out on a strip of cloth and began to dismantle the first, a matte black L115A3. "You know how to handle those?"

"Commando sniper with eleven years' experience under my belt, previously employed by her Royal Majesty's Royal Marines," There was an air of pride in her voice as she spoke and then looked up through her eyelashes with a slight grin. "And if you didn't see, I saved your arse by takin' down the dead bastard's chasin' you"

"Yeah…" He rubbed at the back of his neck, embarrassed over being saved by a woman. "Thanks I guess"

She gave a small jerk of a nod as she dropped her eyes back to her task and began to clean the rifle and then reassemble it. "So _Daryl_ ," She drawled out his name as she rifled through her pack again. "You any good with that crossbow?"

He looked towards the crossbow lying at his side and nodded. "Yeah, used to hunt all the time before the world when to shit" She nodded tearing into a chunk of jerky before holding a piece out to him; after he took it she threw some towards her dog and watched as the pitbull began to tear into it.

Silence stretched between them for a while, the only sounds were of distant walkers and the scrap of metal as Neon disassembled, cleaned and reassembled her guns. "Hey, this camp you're at, you got kids there?" He hesitated to answer and she pressed further. "You know, ones that ain't got parents and the like?"

He shrugged. "Don't know"

"Not that social with them?"

"Not really"

She nodded gaze dropping to the Desert Eagle in her hands. "…Thanks for tellin' me anyway"

Daryl watched her for a moment, for one brief second she looked exhausted like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, and he called out to her. "Why?" She looked up, eyes a little wider in surprise. "Why'd you wanna know?"

She simply looked at him for a moment before pulling out a folded piece of paper from down her bra; she looked down at it for a few long seconds before finally holding it out to him. He took it and unfolded it to find a photo staring back at him; it was her and 2 children. "Yours?" He queried looking up at her.

She nodded. "Connor and Amelia"

He looked at the photo again, three smiling faces staring back at him. _She looks like a good ma, they both look really happy._ He jerked slightly when the photo was tugged out of his grasp and she folded it once more sliding it back down her shirt. "I ain't seen them at the camp but they gotta be somewhere, right?"

A tense smile flickered across her lips. "Right, and that's why I'm riskin' my arse in this city," She took a drink of water from her bottle looking contemplative for a moment. "We can take a look for your brother in the mornin' but we can't travel too deep into the city, we're askin' for a bite by stayin' here," She began to crawl a square in the dust on the floor and trailed her finger around it. "If we track around the out lyin' streets we should be able to make it from one end of the city to the other without drawin' too much attention," She began to stroke her dogs sandy brown fur as he rested his head on her knee. "Besides, I need to refill the 'Am"

He laid down and stretched himself out before deciding to speak. "So why'd you come this way? Boston's a long haul from Atlanta"

"My kid's mostly, and the fact that Boston got overrun, DC too, heard Atlanta was supposed to be a huge refugee camp or some shit," She laughed dryly as she shook her head. "What a crock of shit that was, I thought I might find them here but when I first saw the city I knew that wasn't goin' to be the case, I only stuck around this long to make sure they weren't shufflers," She looked his way before shrugging lightly. "I made a promise to myself that I'd put a bullet in them if I found them like that," She tipped her head towards the roller door. "Scoured the entire city and they're not here, not sure if I should be relieved or worried," A small broken smile graced her lips before it faded. "What about you? Why're you here?"

"Same as you, thought this shithole was supposed to be a fuckin' safe haven but it wasn't, they dropped bombs or some shit on the city…" He shrugged lightly. "At least that's what everyone back at the camp's been sayin'"

Worry creased her brow as she gave a soft _'hmm'_ and slowly stroked the top of the pitbull's head, eyes unfocused for a moment before they shut and then opened again, this time clearer than before. "Napalms, if I remember correctly, they did it to all the big cities when they got overrun. Preventative measure… fuck lot of good that did," She snorted bitterly and shook her head before rubbing at the corners of her eyes. "I'm goin' to catch some kip, you should too, I want to be out of here by sun up," She shifted to lay down flat. "Try any funny business and I'll shove you out that door stark bollock naked and you can fend for yourself"

He couldn't tell if the threat was real or not but decided against testing her. He closed his eyes listening as her breathing evened out after only a short few seconds, he knew Shane would have a field day if she came back to the camp with him and expected to be given safe harbour but something about her told him she had no expectations of generosity. He reached out blindly and felt his fingers brush against the familiar stock of his crossbow, and closed them around it tight. The loading dock was safe enough, barricaded up to the eyeballs and then there was her pitbull. _Spud._ He reminded himself, was awake with one eye on the only entrance, he was sure it was how they'd survived so far; find a corner, barricade it and have Spud keep guard while she caught some shut eye. He shifted on the hard concrete wondering if Merle had gotten away or if he'd be delivering a bolt through his brother's head at some point to end his misery.

Daryl shook his head lightly to clear the thought and tried to focus on sleep instead, hoping the night would pass as quick as they always seemed too.


	2. Chapter 2

Daryl awoke with a jerk and sat upright, his eyes darting around wildly for a moment wondering where the hell he was before he remembered the previous evening's events. He took a breath to calm his racing heart and finally noticed the spot Neon had been occupying was now vacant except for her dog. He slowly hauled himself to his feet and stretched realigning his spine and testing his leg finding it much easier to put weight on now.

"So you're finally awake, huh?"

He spun around on his heel gripping his crossbow and aiming it before lowering it as he found Neon leaning against one of the rusted steel shelving units. "Where the fuck did you go?"

"For a piss" She stated pushing herself off the unstable shelving making it wobble and creak before she began to gather her things.

He blinked numbly as he watched her and slowly scanned his eyes over her trying to figure out why she seemed different than she had the night before, it soon registered that she'd stripped off the denim jacket and hoodie she'd been wearing the previous day. His eyes roamed over the grimy expanse of her skin; sweat, blood and dirt were caked over what he assumed were tattoos. "You got ink"

She paused and looked down at her arms before looking over at him and giving a nod. "…Aye, a bit. Why?"

He shrugged lightly. "Can't see it under all that shit on your skin"

"I look like a goddamn picture compared to you," She shot back with a roguish grin before spitting on her hand and rubbing at a piece of caked on dirt. "There's a tanker at the petrol station that was still full last time I checked, I need to change out of this anyway" She said as she picked at the hem of her shirt turning her nose up at the smell emanating from her clothing. He nodded watching as she hoisted her rifle over her shoulder before pulling the S&W free from its holster. "Come on, we gotta get this shit done right quick otherwise we risk attractin' too much attention" She slung both jackets on and hoisted her pack over one shoulder before heading towards the door and opening it carefully to peer outside.

 

Neon glanced around outside and pushed the door open further giving the immediate vicinity the all clear, she ushered both Daryl and Spud out the door before shutting it as quietly as she could and quickly made her way to the driver's door of her car and slid into the driver's seat after letting Spud jump into the back and throwing her pack on the seat beside him. The black '82 TransAm, that she'd poured her sweat, blood and cash into after saving it from a scrapyard, gave a deep rumble as it started up, she let it idle for a few seconds as she decided on the best route to the petrol station before easing on the accelerator and pulling out of the small alcove. She headed for the outer lying streets in the hopes they could bypass the majority of the cities shuffler infestation which seemed to be drawn, and sticking, to the city centre and the streets in its immediate vicinity. "After I get a full tank I'm goin' to need direction"

"Know the Quarry?"

"Yes and no," She swerved to avoid a lone shuffler. "I _know_ of it, I don't know now to _get_ to it" The 'Am's wheels skidded on the blood slick ground causing the rear end to fishtail out as they took a corner and took out another lone shuffler. "Fuckin' shufflers" She groused knowing she'd have another dent in the metal work.

"Shuffler?"

Her eyes flicked towards her passenger and she nodded. "The dead," She motioned to a small group of shufflers as they passed them. "I guess everywhere has a different name but Boston and up that way were callin' them shufflers"

"We just call 'em walkers"

She gave a soft hum to show she'd heard him as she pulled down another street and then down an alley coming out on a deserted stretch of road containing a petrol station. She pulled in and cut the engine next to one of the pumps. She waited and watched silently for a moment. _All clear… for now._ She slid out and surveyed the area again as she began to gas the 'Am once deeming it safe enough and grabbed a change of clothing from the boot. "Watch my arse" She called over her shoulder as she headed for the water tanker.

Neon turned on the side faucet just enough to give a good steady stream, just enough for her to at least was her skin and wet her hair. She placed her desert eagle within easy reach on the side of the truck bed and yanked the dirty stained white tank top over her head before soaking it and using it as a rag to wash off the blood and grime from her skin. She felt eyes on her and glanced under arm at her temporary companion. "You know, when I said _'watch my arse'_ I didn't mean it literally," She cupped her hands under the stream of water and splashed it onto her face rubbing at her oily skin. "I meant for you to watch for those fuckin' shufflers"

Daryl snorted softly and looked away seemingly embarrassed at having been called out over being caught starting, his weight shifted from foot to foot, eyes now surveying the area around them. "What if I'm enjoyin' the show?" He muttered softly twirling one of his crossbow bolts around his fingers.

"Say somethin', did you?" She queried with a grin as she unhooked her bra, an audible sigh of relief emitting from her as she finally got rid of the underwire that had been digging into her underarm. She scrubbed at the rest of her skin and doused her hair, not bothering to unbraid it, before drying off and pulling on a sport bra; she looked at the wet tank top in her hands and cast it off to one side when she found tears in the seams. "So do I look better without all that shit on my skin, as you so eloquently put it this mornin'?" She queried as she turned the faucet off and gathered her things starting back towards the 'Am before going through a bag in the boot to find another shirt.

He gave a jerk of his head, eyes lingering for a moment on the scorpion tattoo that crawled along her left collarbone before he turned away taking the nozzle from the petrol tank and closed both off. "At least you ain't afraid to get dirty, unlike some of 'em back at camp," He rolled his eyes leaning against the fender. "God help 'em if they get some fuckin' dirt on 'em or break a nail"

She couldn't help but laugh as she stretched, her spine popping and cracking as she arched backwards then twisted side to side and rolled her shoulder's trying to ease the dull ache that persisted between them. She shut the boot lid and slid into the driver's seat starting the engine and waited for Daryl to get in before pulling out onto the street. "We can do a skirt around the city on the way to the highway and check for your brother but I'm not riskin' getting' overrun by goin' any deeper in"

"All righ'," He nodded in agreement before snorting softly. "Knowin' Merle he'll be back at the camp anyway, probably call me a goddamn pussy too for havin' to have my ass saved by a woman"

"Is it just you and your brother?"

He gave a nod. "You?"

"Other than my kids? Just a brother," Her heart hurt every time she thought about Quinn. "We… we got separated in Boston"

There was silence for a moment before Daryl questioned her again. "Where the hell're you from anyway? Don't sound American"

"I'm not," She squinted as the sun hit her eyes and reached for her sunglasses on the dash. "I'm from York," She explained, briefly keeping the wheel steady with her knees as she slipped her glasses on. "Born in Galway and moved from there to York when I was still a kid, I moved to Boston a few years ago before I left the arsehole I was married too"

"Married?" He snorted and let out a short laugh. "Forget to was the bed sheets or some shit?"

The 'Am's tyres screeched as she tapped the brakes, Daryl's head slammed against the windscreen and he swore clutching at his head. "Want to get out and walk? 'Cause the roads right there, love"

"All righ', all righ'," He put his hands up in defence. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, didn't mean to get your panties in a bunch, jeez"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't know what planet you're livin' on but I'm not wearin' _panties_ ," She said as she took off again but not before glancing out the corner of her eye to see his eyes on her, jaw slack and a flood of red colouring his cheeks. She chuckled shaking her head and turned her eyes back to the road. "You seem to get embarrassed easily, sweetheart" He scowled looking away and concentrated out the window, the redness still tinting his cheeks, and she briefly considered teasing him about it but thought better of it as she wound down her window and hauled ass towards the only clear road into and out of the city.


	3. Chapter 3

Neon surveyed the quarry as she slowed and pulled through gate Daryl had pointed out. She started along the gravel stretch of road and grimaced as it rattled the car. "I'm goin' to need to tune my baby after this" She groused giving the old TransAm more gas as they climbed the rocky inclination towards the main campsite.

"Been meanin' to ask, where'd you jack this ride from?"

She laughed dryly. "I didn't _'jack'_ this old girl from anywhere; I saved her from a scrapyard five years ago, my first big project before I decided to open an auto repair and restoration workshop"

"You're a mechanic?"

"Was," She corrected. "I _was_ a mechanic. Now… now I'm just a lass tryin' to stay alive like everyone else," She slowed to a halt beside a 4X4 and saw curious faces beginning to loiter and stare. "Do me a favour and stay here bud" She twisted and patted Spud's head as she slipped out of the car and watched some of the camp's inhabitants venture towards Daryl but only one embraced him in a tight familial hug.

"Thought we'd lost you, little brother"

"Nah, ain't no walker's gonna take me down" She rolled her eyes and began to light a cigarette, her eyes scanning the faces for anyone familiar as the two men talked.

"So how'd you make it back?"

"Neon helped me out" Daryl pointed towards her as she was shaking her lighter finally succeeding in lighting her cigarette.

"Neon?"

She gave a small wave of her hand. "That'd be me"

"Aw, my little brother found a girl," The man standing next to Daryl mocked him lightly. "And a _hot_ one too"

She rolled her eyes as she pushed her sunglasses up perching them atop her head. "Do me a favour and go take a tub of Vaseline and sit in the shade" She shot back at him mimicking the motion of jacking off as she tipped ash off the end of her cigarette.

He barked out a laugh. "Girlies got a mouth too"

"Nah Merle, she's all righ'," Daryl shoved his brother's shoulder. "Better shot than your sorry ass"

She felt herself grin broadly at the compliment before movement in her peripheral made her turn; one of the women of the camp had begun to approach her. "You look like you could do with some breakfast, why don't you come and sit down? I'm sure we could spare something for you"

"Aye," She had been intent of just dropping Daryl off and then hitting the road again but she wasn't about to throw away the hospitality that had been offered. "Thank you"

The woman smiled extending her hand. "I'm Jacqui"

She clasped it and shook it firmly. "Neon"

Jacqui's brows jumped in surprise. "That's… a strange name"

She chuckled softly and shook her head before motioning towards Daryl. "Nickname that saighdeoir gave me"

"So what's your real name?"

She paused briefly before deciding to stick with her recently acquired nickname. "Let's just stick with Neon for now, I-uh-I get pretty particular about how people say my real name and it annoys the ever livin' hell out of me to keep correctin' people"

Jacqui smiled with a nod. "All right, _Neon_ "

She turned giving a low whistle and watched as Spud poked his head out of the car window. "Come on, Spud" He gave a wuffle and jumped from the window running over to her side.

"No, no, _no,_ " She jerked around at the angry words and saw a man striding towards her. "Get rid of that fucking dog now"

She immediately balked at the idea and glared at the man. "He hasn't done you any harm" She snapped, Spud looked up at her before tensing and beginning to growl, the fur along his ridge of his spine beginning to stand on end as he crouched lower, every muscle in his body taunt as he sensed her rising anger and awaited a command to attack.

"Not yet it hasn't, but if it goes off barking it'll draw the attention of every fucking walker around here, _you're_ risking this entire camp over some mangy mongrel"

"Spud's not an _'it'_ , he's a _he_ ," She spat back correcting him as Spud crept forward a step ensuring he was between her and the unknown man. "And _he's_ saved my life more than once, _he_ knows not to go off his rocker at every little sound, and _he's_ the best goddamn friend I've got right now," She snarled trying to drive home the point that the dog at her side wasn't just some thing to her. "So, if he's not welcome then neither am I" She turned on her heel calling Spud after her and headed straight for her 'Am.

"Hey man, back off," It was Daryl that spoke up. "Neon saved my fuckin' life in the city; if she hadn't come along when she did I'd be walkerchow"

"I'm not talking to you, Dixon"

"Shane calm down," The man turned storming off as a woman stepped up beside him and tried to calm him by placing her hand on his arm, she sighed and watched him stomp away before shaking her head and turning back. "Sorry about that, I'm Lori"

Neon regarded her for a moment before nodding, introductions now being thrown at her left and right as she was steered towards a small camp fire that had been set up in a central area.

"So where are you from?"

She looked towards the eldest man, Dale, as he sat down across from her. "Currently runnin' out of Boston headin'… well, anywhere that's not a city, I guess"

"Wow, you're a long way from home" She made a noise of agreement before Dale nodded towards Spud. "Is he yours or a traveller you picked up along the way?"

She glanced towards the dog basking in the sun at her feet and grinned softly stroking his one good ear. "Picked him up along the way. I found him tryin' to take on a group of shufflers-" She paused trying to grasp for the word Daryl had used. "Walk-walkers? That's what you call them down here, right? Well, whatever you want to call them," She shrugged lightly. "I decided to give him a hand and shared some jerky with him, and he's been by my side ever since"

He nodded listening intently before another man came over to join them, Jim, if she remembered correctly. "I've done what I can for now, we're not going to get far if we have to move the RV"

"Shoddy hose or shoddy connection?" She queried as she looked towards the vehicle in question and then back at both men seeing them looking surprised. "I had a repair and restoration workshop, I can take a look if you want"

"By all means, another mind might help us conquer this problem" She stood trailing after Dale towards the old Winnebago. "Daryl was saying you're a pretty good shot"

"Sniper for her Royal Majesty," She peered into the tiny engine cavity and took the penlight Dale held out to her. "I retired five years ago"

"Do you mind me asking why you left?"

"I didn't leave, I retired, there's a big difference. And my retirement wasn't entirely voluntary; mostly because of injury and…" She hesitated trying to find the diplomatic word for brawl. "Let's just call it a _disagreement_ with my CO at the time, words were said, fists flew and there was a tribunal" She stretched clicking off the penlight and turned leaning back against the grill of the RV before Daryl and his brother caught her eye. "So what's the deal with saighdeoir and that pig he calls a brother?"

Dale looked over at the two brothers' in question. "They're like the rest of us, just trying to survive," She nodded watching Spud as he lapped up the attention of the children that were busy petting and playing with him. "He looks like he's having fun"

"Aye, he's a real stud," She smiled chuckling softly. "My early warnin' detection system" She glanced over at Dale before deciding to explain when she saw his confusion. "He keeps an eye open while I sleep"

"So you've been travelling alone this entire time?"

"Yeah, ever since Boston. Well, until I met up with Spud somewhere around Knoxville, that is"

There was a pause and Neon turned back to inspect the engine again. "Would you consider joining the camp?"

She knew the question had been coming but she just hadn't been able to judge when. "With the greetin' I got, I think it's safe to assume neither Spud nor I are welcome here" She pulled the radiator hose out to inspect it properly. "And as I said before, if Spud's not welcome then neither am I"

"Shane will understand, he knows we need strong people that can fight"

She huffed a soft laugh. "That I can do just fine, I'm a pretty mean cook too, or at least that's what I've been told," She felt a smile curl at the edges of her lips as she remembered the last breakfast she'd shared with both her children and her brother. "And I can sow, patched myself up more time that I care to count… or admit"

He laughed. "Well, I'll talk to Shane and try and sway him towards letting you stay"

She turned an eye towards the camp and surveyed it; it was a dire situation if she'd ever seen one, it was people trying to keep themselves together, trying to cling to what _was_ instead of coming to terms with what _is,_ and so she shook her head. "You don't need too. I shouldn't be stayin' long, I only stopped in the city for supplies when I happened across saighdeoir"

"What is that you keep calling him?"

"Hmm? Saighdeoir?" She laughed pushing a stray strand of hair out of her face. "It's Gaelic for archer," She shrugged looking over at Daryl and watched him wiping down an arrow. "Suits him, all things considered," She held up the pipe changing the subject. "Got any duct tape?"

He nodded handing her a roll that had been mostly used. "I'll still talk to Shane. If you stay a while at least you'll get a better night's sleep than having to worry about if the walkers are going to get you or not"

She sighed mutely before weighing the options out in her mind and surveyed the camp once again before deciding a few days of good rest would do her some good. "All right, but I'm goin' to need a place to stay, as much as I love my 'Am she's uncomfortable to sleep in for too long"

"There's plenty of camping equipment you can borrow"

"All I need is a tent; I've got all my own supplies"

He nodded with a broad smile. "No problems about sleeping on the ground then?"

"Dirt, sand, marsh," She shrugged. "I've done it all before, so you'll hear no complaints from me" She watched him turn and leave to find Shane, and let a soft sigh slip through her lips. "Couple of days, just to get some proper sleep in" She murmured reconfirming her resolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've come to the conclusion that I want to try and update every Saturday, it gives me enough time to screw around during the week and finish editing other chapters, writing the next installment, and if I feel up to it attempting some artwork (because I'm seriously considering turning this into a comic as well).


	4. Chapter 4

Neon grimaced as she peered at the undercarriage of her TransAm with a small penlight; dried blood and decaying matter were splashed across it. She twisted to grab a screwdriver and swore feeling the dull ache between her shoulder blades bite with a sharp sting before she exhaled and then grabbed a screwdriver from her bag of tools and turned back to her task of proceeding to try and dislodge a chunk of crusted brain matter. When she heard the crunch of gravel underfoot she turned to look and found Amy and Carol heading towards her. "We washed your things for you" She could briefly remember sorting through her clothing during the morning and hadn't really though much of it when it had disappeared of the 'Am's door.

"I-" She cut herself short and sat up. "Thank you" It wasn't very often she had someone go out of their way for her. "Can you throw them in the boot?" She held up greasy and blood stained hands in explanation. "You didn't have to do that"

"Yeah, we kind of did, that smell…" The younger of the two women crinkled her nose in disgust. "I don't know _how_ you managed to drive with that stench in the car"

Neon laughed. "Aye," She cracked an impish grin as she hauled herself to her feet. "Rollin' down the windows helped"

"Dale's been asking around the camp on how people would feel if you stayed," Carol mentioned as she placed the clothing in the cars boot. "He said yesterday he was going to ask Shane about letting you stay"

Neon leant back against the 'Am's fender and surveyed the camp silently for a moment before deciding to speak. "If I'm goin' to be honest, I don't know if I should stay. I only stopped downtown because I was runnin' low on supplies and needed to have a look around"

"For what?"

She rolled the screwdriver in her hands before spitting on the old transparent yellow handle and began to clean off the blood. "People; they were down here when the world went to hell in a handbasket" She smiled softly thinking about Amelia's mess of red hair and couldn't help but wonder if she was having trouble keeping it under control. "I made a promise to myself that I'd put a bullet in them if I found them as one of the dead"

"So who are you looking for?" Amy queried.

She looked up, a strained smile gracing her lips. "Family…" She thought about her children and then her brother, Quinn was all on his lonesome but Connor and Amelia were supposed to be with their father. _Clayton probably cut and ran at the first opportunity that he could, he's always been a coward with a big mouth._ She could feel the smile on her lips turn bitter and shook her head lightly trying to get rid of the thought. "Anyway, I scoured that entire city and they're not there" All she could do now was hope. "We'll find each other eventually" She glanced towards the main fire pit seeing Lori standing up and looking in their direction. "I think Lori want's some help with dinner, give us a shout if you need another set of hands" With that she turned her back on both women and went back to the task of trying to tune the 'Am but without a proper workshop hoist it was proving a mission and a half. It was times like now that she missed her workshop dearly.

 

"Lori told me to come tell you that dinner's ready"

Neon glanced up through the driver's side window at Andrea before giving a nod. "Aye, I'll be there in a minute" She finished rolling her cigarette and tucked it behind her ear opting to save it for after dinner. "Come on, Spud" She called to the dog lying sprawled out in the early evening sunlight as she stood and shut the car door before heading towards the main fire pit. She took a seat to Daryl's right on a log and looked at the contents of the bowl she was handed. "Do I dare ask?"

"Squirrel"

She nodded stirring the steaming chunky liquid. "Looks good" She murmured offering him a light grin.

"So Neon, Dale was saying you came out of Boston. Why not head for DC?"

"DC's dead," She was blunt as she ate a bite of her stew, it wasn't half bad she had to admit. "Most of the major cities are dead zones"

"I thought DC was supposed to be a safe zone"

She couldn't help the derisive snort that slipped out. "I don't think there _are_ any _'safe zones'_ left. I mean, eventually, people get complacent and start to relax, let their guard down, and that's went incompetence shines through, usually at the worst time too"

"Was Boston hit hard?"

Her eyes glanced towards Glenn. "Aye, it wasn't a pretty sight tryin' to haul arse out of there but I managed it… somehow"

"How?"

"Great skill and determination," She shrugged off the answer and placed her half-finished bowl down for Spud. "I stuck to all the back roads, the fuckin' highways are a death trap layered in icin', they're all backed up with abandoned cars and crashed eighteen wheelers," She explained. "I've done my best so far to avoid them and only use them on the rarest occasions" She handed the empty bowl off to Carol as soon as Spud was finished with it and made a move to excuse herself to finish working on her 'Am.

"Dale said you're thinking about staying" Shane's voice drew her back into the conversation, and she sat back down on the log slowly.

"Wasn't my intention nor my idea," She clarified. "But the pros of it do outweigh the cons, if only slightly"

"Well you can stay," He spoke with a reluctance in his voice. "But only on the condition that it," He pointed at Spud. "Goes"

She shook her head with a mute sigh, she wasn't getting into a fight about this, she was to emotionally drained to fight. "Told you yesterday, if Spud's not welcome then neither am I," The dog in question looked up at her and moved to stand at her side. "So, the hospitality has been great but I'll be goin' now"

"Don't be a dick man, she'd be an asset to this camp," It was Daryl that spoke up on her behalf and it surprised her. She turned back to look at the group as he spoke. "She's an ex-marine-"

"Veteran," Every eye in the group snapped in her direction as she corrected Daryl. "No such thing as an _ex_ -marine"

Daryl looked at her for a brief moment before giving a small nod; he seemed to understand what she was getting at as he continued to talk. "It's not like any of these bitches can shoot worth shit and you keep bitchin' about how we need more people to defend the camp"

"Don't need _women_ that can shoot"

She rolled her eyes and a short derisive huff of a laugh slipped past her lips. "So the world turns to shit and men are still chauvinistic pigs," She shook her head. "That's fuckin' rich, especially if you need people"

"As much as I don't like agreeing with Daryl, this time he's right. We _need_ more abled bodied people to defend the camp" Dale spoke up in her defence as well.

"If it's a matter of how good I am, then don't worry, I can assure you; I'm a better shot than anyone you've got here" She knew she sounded cocky but she couldn't help it, she prided herself on her military career. "Do you know how many females have become commandos? How many women have earned a position in the Royal Marines, and the right to wear a green beret?" She held up two fingers. "Two, and I'm one of them"

Silence fell over the group for a few minutes before Andrea spoke up. "Let her stay, Shane. It's too dangerous to go out there alone, and it'll ease the load on everyone else to have someone else capable of watch duty and help out with all the other chores. She can even help Dixon with the hunting if she's as good a shot as what she says she is"

"If you're going to stay with the camp you've got to pull your weight and pool your resources with ours"

Neon bit back the desire to roll her eyes. "I was plannin' on ditchin' my unneeded ammo with you before I left," She gave him a pointed look. "Didn't think I'd just up and leave without some sort of thank you, did you?" She was antagonising him and she knew it but decided to dial back the tone with her next words. "Just 'cause the world went to the dogs doesn't mean folk've got to turn into savages"

"I still want that mongrel gone"

" _Spud_ ," She corrected him firmly. "His name is _Spud_ , and in all honesty the camp would be safer with him around, he can smell those shufflers comin' a mile off"

"Look why don't we take a vote? See how many people want Neon _and_ Spud to stay and how many are against it" Dale was trying to diffuse the growing tension and looked around the group for their vote. A fair few of them gave nods and voted to let them stay with only a handful of others saying they wanted them gone. "I think that settle's it, doesn't it? Majority rules," Dale motioned to the group. "Nearly everyone can see the benefits of having them stay with the camp"

"Fine" The word was snapped and Shane stood walking away with his shotgun in hand.

Neon shifted uncomfortably for a moment before clearing her throat and jerking a thumb towards her TransAm. "I'll be workin' on the 'Am" She turned on her heel and headed towards the 'Am, the feeling on eyes on her made her want to pack up and bug out without a second word but she fought the urge and made a silent pact with herself that if the group stayed in the Quarry for much longer then she would leave. Staying in one place wasn't going to find her, her kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few interesting facts about some of the things in this chapter.
> 
> The part about not being an ex-marine came from a post on a message board that I found when I was doing research, the basic jist of it was what Neon said, there are no ex-marines, only veteran's. When I first saw it, it just jumped out as something that she would think after being military for so long.
> 
> And the part about female commandos is true for the era I headcannon the start of the ZA (which is about 2010), the only difference is at that time there was only one (because, you know, Neon is an OC and not in RL). However, recently (past two years I think it was), there have been 2-5 other women that have passed the commando course.
> 
> And encase you didn't know, I've got a [tumblr](http://candycoatddalek.tumblr.com/) and [FF.Net](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1881759/). I mainly post otome related stuff/fanfiction and whatever else is in my interest scope on my tumblr (and when I finish the profile for Neon I'll be posting it there too and on DA).


	5. Chapter 5

Neon stretched and shifted on her makeshift bed, the tent was chilly at best but with Spud serving as her own personal hot water bottle it was bearable. She glanced over at the dog curled up into her side under the blanket and cuddled him closer idly stroking his good ear as she turned her attention back to the book she'd been reading, some halfway decent piece of erotica that she'd swiped off a random store shelf. When a shadow passed the back of her tent she instinctively reached for her Desert Eagle and silently placed the book down watching as it moved around to the door and began to unzip it; she was just as weary of the living as she was the dead. She moved quietly to her knees and clicked off the safety, Spud was beside her now crouching low ready to launch into an attack as soon as he was given the go ahead.

"Fuckin' twat," She muttered and dropped the barrel of the gun snapping the safety back on as soon as she saw Daryl's face appear in the tent flap opening. "What's the time, and what do you want?"

Daryl twisted to look skyward before turning back. "Sometime before dawn. Come on" He beckoned her with a jerk of his head and she sighed before snatching up her things and slipped out of the tent. "You look like shit" She cast a glare at him as she pulled on her hoodie and denim jacket.

"Cheers," She responded dryly. "So where're we goin'?"

"Hunt some breakfast" He said leading the way into the undergrowth and she didn't think twice about following him.

As they walked she couldn't help but wonder _why_ all the hunting seemed to fall to him, no one else ever joined him to do it but then again, upon her first impression, she was sure most of the camp disliked the Dixon brothers. Not that she could really blame them, Merle seemed like a jackass and a half, and if she was going to be brutally honest she wouldn't have to think twice about tripping him to save her own skin if they were being chased. "So, saighdeoir," She broke their amicable silence. "Why don't you pass the buck onto someone else?"

"Huh?" He frowned in confusion.

"You know, why don't you make someone else do all the huntin'?" She clarified her question.

He snorted with a laugh. "You think any of those assholes know the first thing about huntin'?"

She paused. Oh damn him he had a valid point there, they all seemed like urban dwellers, city slickers and soccer mums, not people that would be used to the hard labour of a farm or having to actually kill dinner themselves instead of buying it prewrapped in plastic. "…Valid point"

He nodded pushing through the trees, Spud trailing alongside them quite happily marking his territory here and there before running to catch up with them. "Know how to skin?"

"I grew up on a sheep farm, Da taught us how to hunt and skin," She paused thinking back to farms she'd grown up on. "Taught us how to tan hide and spin wool too" She watched as Spud put his nose to the ground before stalling and then tearing off into the undergrowth before trotting back happily a few minutes later with a limp squirrel dangling from his chops. "So where the hell's you're brother this mornin'? Do you usually go out with him?"

"Nah, usually just me, don't know where Merle fucked off too either," He shrugged readying his crossbow and fired pinning another squirrel to a tree. "You really think you're gonna find your kids?"

She was silent for a moment as she toyed with the rosary, ever present, around her neck. "Gotta try, don't I? I mean, I can't just give up, it'll eat me alive if I don't" Out of instinct she drew the photo out from its place tucked down her bra and unfolded it looking down at it, not that she really needed too, she had it burned into her memory by now. Quinn had snapped the photo the day she'd finished restoring her TransAm; she, Amelia and Connor had posed in front of the car, Connor's arm carelessly thrown around her shoulders and her arms wrapped around Amelia. "They're my entire world, my reason to keep livin'" She confessed quietly.

"That kid looks at least nineteen," Daryl was peering at the photo before he grinned. "Kinda makes me wonder how old you are"

She scowled as his teasing tone and swatted his shoulder with the back of her hand. "He's seventeen, she's eight and _I'm_ only thirty four, thank you very much," She folded the photo tucking it away again. "I was still in my teens when I had Connor"

"So you gonna keep goin' 'til you find 'em?"

She nodded firmly. "Goin' to keep myself alive until I see them again," She swallowed roughly. "Dead or alive, I'll find them"

"You think they're still alive?"

She shrugged and tried to brush of the question, it was something she really didn't want to think about. "It's called blind hope mixed with a little bit of faith and determination," She grinned softly. "And a mother's intuition, I can feel it in here," She tapped her chest, and then her temple. "And I know it in here. I taught them everythin' they know"

"Why were they down here?"

"Visitin' their father, he and his latest fling lived down here"

"Don't think they're with him?"

She couldn't stop the derisive snort and bitter laugh. "Clayton was about as useful as a tits on a fuckin' nun," She shook her head lightly. "He's the kind of man who only proposes because his mother keeps naggin' about havin' a child out of wedlock and would need a stable home while I was off gettin' shot at," She sighed looking skyward. "Still can't believe I married that prick" She dropped her gaze and watched Daryl take aim at another squirrel. "He'd have been the first one out of the city when the epidemic hit," She felt bitter as she watched the arrow sail through the air and strike home before Spud raced off to collect the kill. "He had two kids with me and god knows how many other bastards," Spud dumped the kill at their feet and sat down with a dopey grin on his face, his stumpy tail wagging furiously. "I finally kicked him out when I came home one night and found him with some young bleach blonde piece of tits and arse in our bed," She smiled and laughed remembering the scene clear as day. "Kicked them both out stark bollock naked and wouldn't let them back in, brings a new meanin' to the term _'blue balls'_ "

Daryl started to laugh as he fixed the squirrel to his string. "Just by his name he sounds like an asshole" He wandered a few paces forward before stopping and kneeling. "There's a fuckin' deer out here"

"Really?" She moved to kneel beside him and looked at the faint tracks imprinted in the dirt. "Think it's been bit?"

He shrugged lightly following the tracks with his eyes for a moment. "I'll track it after we have some grub"

She nodded pushing herself up wincing slightly at the pain that floated through her right leg. "Would make for a better meal than the last few nights, that shits makin' me ill"

Daryl laughed. "What? You got a weak stomach or somethin'?"

She gave him a blank deadpan look. "I haven't exactly been livin' healthy recently, beef jerky and MRE's, great menu" She groused dryly as she rolled her eyes. "Semi decent food after not eatin' any for so long would make anyone ill"

"Don't want a bite of squirrel then?" He queried shaking the dead animal in her direction.

She eyed him and the squirrel wearily for a moment wondering if he was serious. "Honestly?" He nodded. "No, I'm all good. But you go right ahead," She motioned to the salivating dog at her side. "And I'm sure he would be _more_ than happy to share my half of your meal with you"

They took a seat on a fallen log, a canteen on water passed between them as they sat back watching the sun creep higher and higher into the sky. "You think animals can get this shit if they get bit?"

Neon shrugged. "I saw plenty of dogs in Atlanta chowing down on corpses, and bein' chowed upon," She added. "But it never _seemed_ to affect them," She motioned to Spud. "He's helped me take down more than one shuffler before, ripped chunks out of them and never shown any signs of rabies or whatever this disease it," A roguish grin spread across her lips as she looked over at Daryl. "Better keep that between us otherwise Shane'll try and put a bullet in him"

"Nah, I won't tell him. Guy's a fuckin' asshole anyway"

"Amen to that brother," She murmured taking another drink from the canteen. "So what's up between him and Lori, she his wife or somethin'? I've seen them sneakin' 'round for a shag when I'm on watch"

He shrugged taking another bite of raw squirrel meat. "Beats me"

"The buzz goin' 'round is that she's married"

He threw the leftover carcass to Spud. "He's supposedly dead, at least that's what she said," He snorted softly as he cleaned his hands. "Pretty sure everyone in the goddamn camp knows they're fuckin' by now" She nodded watching the sun rise higher and sighed knowing it would be another blister of a day.

 

Neon let her eyes wander over the quarry as she sat on the edge of the cliff that overlooked the basin below. She turned her eyes skyward watching the birds fly across the sky towards the city before she stretched and then rested back on her palms. It was difficult adjusting to being a part of a group, ever since she'd left Boston she'd been running alone and this entire camp seemed to be like one big family almost. They had their smaller groups, sure, but they all looked out for one another as well and she felt like the odd one out. After coming back from the morning hunt with Daryl she'd fallen back into old habits; she'd watched the camp, silent and without judgement, and it had only taken an hour or two to figure out who looked out for who. Daryl and Merle only had each other; they were removed slightly from the camp and only came into the fold when it was meal time. Lori cared supremely for her son, Carl, and Shane watched over both of them like a hawk. Dale tried to watch out for everyone but he had a closer eye on Andrea and her sister, Amy. And then there was the Peletier family; Ed, Carol, and their daughter, Sophia, she'd taken notice of how Carol acted and knew there was abuse that went on in that household.

She shook her head, heels tapping against the crumbling stone of the cliff as she swung her legs before sitting up properly. She looked over at the camp directly across from her, she'd left Spud playing with the kids, the gnarled pitbull lapping up the attention despite the scars that told of his own history of abuse, or at the very least that of a fighting dog. She pulled the photo from down her bra and unfolded it looking down at it and touched her fingers to the family heirloom rosary around her neck. She wasn't a religious person, not anymore, she'd never really been truly religious at all but that didn't stop her giving a soft prayer for Quinn to have made it out of Boston and for both her children to be holed up somewhere safe with each other. She looked over the vista one last time before tucking the photo away and standing to start making her way back towards the camp. She had little to do, the 'Am was operational, Daryl had disappeared off to track the deer they'd found tracks for and would be gone at least a day or two, and Glenn had been sent into the city on a scavenge run with Jacqui, T-Dog, Morales, Andrea and Merle.

"You trying to get bit?" The voice that echoed slightly across the camp as Neon approached it made her wish she'd stayed on the other side of the quarry. "You didn't think it was a good idea to tell anyone where you were going?"

Anger burned white hot in her veins and she quickly had to dampen it, last thing she needed to do was flip that switch. "Sod off, I sure as shit don't have to tell anyone when I want five minutes alone. Besides, anyone on watch would have seen me across the quarry" She turned away dismissing Shane and moved past him, a smile breaching her lips as Spud raced over to greet her, stumpy tail wagging frantically as she gave him a pat on the head.

"You need to fucking tell someone if you're going to wander off" Shane snapped grabbing her arm before dropping it as if it were acid as Spud's hackles shot up and he lunged at him, teeth snapping at his ankle before Shane drew his gun on him.

She drew her own gun and snapped the safety off brandishing it in Shane's direction. "Don't you _dare_ threaten my dog" She levelled the barrel with his head, finger flat against the side of the trigger on the off chance he decided to test her.

"Fucking dog is dangerous, it'll kill someone," He spat his words as he glared down at Spud. "Should just put it out of its misery"

She had her finger on the switch of her anger, all she had to do was flip it and things would turn very bloody very quickly. "You threaten my dog again and it's the last thing you do, I won't hesitate to unload this entire mag into your thick fuckin' skull" She spoke slowly and coldly, Spud still stood between them, hackles raised and lips curled back displaying his impressive set of teeth to the man currently threatening them.

"There's no need for this," Dale was suddenly between them trying to diffuse the situation by tipping her gun barrel down. "Is there? Really?"

She glared darkly at Shane and snapped the safety back on as she dropped the gun to her side and gave a sharp hiss between her teeth; Spud crept back a pace to her side and sat down, the fur along his spine still standing on end. "You threaten Spud again and nothin' on this planet will stop me from guttin' you" She snarled before turning away and calling Spud after her, as she walked away anyone in her way seemed to step back and give her space, something she was eternally grateful for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have anything to say this time, other than the slang/lingo Neon uses is a mix of English, Irish and RM slang/lingo, I'll try my best to put some "translations" at the bottom here but most of it is pretty self explanatory (except for the RM, when it comes to that I'll put a translation).
> 
> Only other thing I have to say is that... Oh dear lord! I'm am so emotionally wrung out after writing part of the next installment.


	6. Chapter 6

A wailing siren pierced the silence of the quarry and echoed off the canyon walls causing Neon to pull away from her car's engine looking towards the entrance to see a fairly new bright red Dodge Challenger pulling up. "Well I'll be damned, short and brainy got a sweet ride" She laughed shaking her head as the others began to yell to turn it off.

"Yeah, everyone's fine," Glenn answered in a rush as questions were thrown at him before his eyes skittered off sideways. "Well… Merle not so much"

_Daryl is not going to like the sound of that_. She shook her head wiping her hands on a rag and let the TransAm's bonnet slam shut.

"Are you crazy driving this wailing bastard up here?"

She could help but roll her eyes as Shane berated Glenn, her eyes immediately snapping to the cube truck that pulled up behind one of the SUV's. _Looks like Glenn's not the only one with a new ride._

"Sorry," The boy seemed genuinely sorry for what had happened. "I got a cool car" He motioned to the bright red Challenger with an awkward smile.

"Lay off him, those brainless fucks won't know where the sound came from, and they're probably onto their next meal by now" Shane shot her a glare which she returned with one just as nasty before both their eyes moved to the people disembarking from the cube van. She watched silently as Morales reunited with his family, and then Andrea with Amy, and felt a sting in her heart; she wished so dearly she could reunite with her own family in the same manner.

"How'd you all get out of there anyway?"

"New guy, he got us out"

"New guy?" A murmur rushed through the growing crowd of onlookers and she caught Shane shifting uneasily in her peripheral, one look at him and she could tell that he knew the man walking towards them.

"Dad! Dad!"

Her attention snapped to Carl as he broke away from his mother and bolted towards the man, and she watched as the man knelt sweeping Carl into a tight hug, tears streaming down their faces. _So this is Rick, huh?_ She glanced over at Shane before feeling a smirk tug at her lips. _Shit just got interesting._ Another sharp sting in her chest reminded her that when she eventually found her own children they would reunite in a similar fashion, she would probably burst into tears and never want to let them out of her sight again. Her fingers unconsciously touched the rosary around her neck as she thought about the last time they'd all been together.

**=3 Days before Boston Outbreak=**

"Come on, Ma, you've gotta teach me" Connor pestered her once again; he'd been trying all day.

"Connor, I'm covered in oil and in the middle of changin' some poor sods oil filter right now, plus your Da will be here in a half hour to get you and Amelia"

"Please," He pleaded before changing tactics on her. "If you won't do it I'll go talk to Uncle Quinn about it"

She rolled her eyes at the mention of her twin brother; it was a cheap ploy he always tried when he wanted something from her and she was stonewalling him. "My brother doesn't know shit about how to handle a bow," She groused before giving her son a pointed look from underneath the car. "And neither do I"

"Come on, Ma," He whined this time. "You go hunting with Uncle Jimmy all the time and he's an ace with a compound, surely he taught you something"

She sighed and turned away from the dripping oil to look at Connor. "What ever happened to wantin' that Remington?"

"Don't get me wrong, I still want the Remington, but I want to learn archery too"

"You and your whim's boy, you never stick to one bloody thing"

"Where do you suppose I get that from?" He grinned broadly at her and she scowled in return.

"I'm impulsive, not scatter brained" She turned back to the oil to make sure it was still draining. "What if I promised to buy you that Remington for your birthday?"

His brows shot up. "Really?"

"Sure" She ground out the word in frustration and slammed the wrench in her hand against the undercarriage when she saw the oil was now leaking from further down the car.

"Awesome!" He was giddy. "Now back onto the topic of archery…"

She heaved a heavy sigh sliding out from under the car and looked towards her son. "Fine, I'll talk to Jimmy and see if he'll give you a lesson or two"

"Swee-"

" _But_ ," She held up a hand interrupting him. " _After_ you get back from your Da's"

A broad grin swept across her lips and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Thanks, Ma"

"Aye, now get off before you get muck all over you, and don't go tellin' your Da about it, he already think's I'm the devil incarnate," She wiped her greasy hands on a rag. "Now, where's your sister"

He pointed to the office with a grin. "She's working on something for you"

She smiled looking towards the office before throwing the rag at Connor. "Wipe that bloody grin off your face and go get cleaned up," She turned heading for the office. "Darlin', Connor said you were workin' on somethin' for me"

The bright red haired girl quickly covered the picture on the desk obscuring her view. "I don't want you to see it yet, Ma"

She laughed smoothing out a few strands of her daughter bright red hair and nodded. "All right, all right, I won't peek, I promise" She grinned giving her daughter a wink before moving around her to use the computer. "Your Da's goin' to be here to pick you up soon, you got everythin' ready?"

Amelia nodded rapidly before going back to her picture. "Do we have to stay with Da? I don't like Atlanta, I like staying in Boston with you and Uncle Quinn"

"I know you do gorgeous," She gave Amelia her best smile. "But your Da wants you to stay with him for the first week of these holidays"

Her daughter pouted folding her arms over her chest and puffed out her cheeks. "I don't wanna go"

"You've got to Amelia," She sighed kneeling in front of the chair and wiped away a stray tear from her daughter's cheek with her thumb leaving a smear of grease in its wake. "Your Da is tryin' to make things work, he wants to be in your life, at least give him a shot"

Amelia pouted even further before finally relenting with a nod. "…Okay"

She grinned placing a kiss on the little girls cheek. "That's my girl. Tell you what," She unhooked the old pair of dog tags from around her neck and linked them around Amelia's. "You can give these back to me once you're home, all right?" Amelia nodded excitedly clutching the dog tags in her hand before looking towards the door, her excitement fading when she saw her father.

"So where're my two sprogs?"

She rolled her eyes at his cocky smirk and arrogant demeanour. "Connor get in here," She hollered and forced a smile to her lips as she looked down at Amelia. "It'll only be a week sweetheart, then you and Connor can come home"

Amelia nodded trying to swipe at her tears and appear strong. "I love you, Ma"

"Love you too, a stór" She looked over at Connor as he stepped into the office and grinned drawing the teen into a hug before whispering to him. "Take care of your sister and I'll keep that promise I made"

"Of course I'll take care of her, Ma. We'll see you in a week"

She nodded letting the boy go and yelled after him. "And if I have to come down there because you got shitfaced I'll give you a bollockin', lad"

He laughed throwing a wave over his shoulder before both followed Clayton out to his expensive looking SUV.

She shook her head before looking at the picture left on the desk and smiled softly picking it up. It was of the four of them, Connor, Amelia, Quinn and herself, all of them were standing in front of a house with a white picket fence and a black and white coloured dog.

**=Present Day=**

Neon let the rosary drop back against her chest and sighed softly, the sharp sting had faded to a dull ebb in her chest now. Her children had both taken after her, her genes had been the more dominate and Clayton's had been the weaker, the recessive. Both looked everything like her, from their gun metal coloured eyes to Connor's mane of brunette hair, Amelia's however was a bright red, a true red, something that had come from the maternal line of ancestors; Neon herself hadn't taken after her mother with a lion's mane of untameable red hair but Amelia had.

Spud whined and caught her attention as he jumped up and began to try and lick at her face. She looked down at the dog and smiled sadly reaching out and scratched at his half ear before exhaling softly then throwing her arms around his neck in a hug as she buried her face into his fur and took a deep breath of his doggie scent to calm herself. She wanted to cry, she truly did, and she decided that's what she was going to slink off and do, she had to get it out her system. "Come on, bud" She silently manoeuvred away from everything going on and retreated to her tent so she could be alone and, hopefully, undisturbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a few days longer than normal, I've been caught up with writing and watching Fear the Walking Dead (and I shamelessly fell for Nick Clark, goddamn it). I did plan to post on Saturday but by the time I realised what day it was it was 2 am on Sunday morning and I was half dead at the computer.
> 
> **Lingo Translations.**  
>  _A stór - My Treasure._ It's an Irish endearment, something a parent would use for their child.  
>  _Bollocking - Telling off._ At least in the context of Neon using it with her son.


	7. Chapter 7

Screams ringing from the rear of the camp drew Neon's attention away the book in her hand and she quickly scrambled to her feet drawing her gun and rushing in the direction of the sound. She came to a halt witnessing a deer, with three arrows sticking from its hide, being gnawed upon by a walker. _This place isn't fucking safe anymore._ She heard Spud growl before gnashing his teeth at the walker, hackles raised as a deep growl rumbled in his chest. "Spud," She called him away watching as Rick, Shane, Morales, Jim and Glenn attack the walker before Dale lobbed off its head with a fire axe. _Got to nail it in the head._ She drew her gun up as the trees on the opposite side of the small clearing rustled before glancing down at Spud as his hackles lowered and tail began to wag as he put his nose in the air quivering briefly.

"Son of a bitch! That's my deer" She lowered her weapon as Daryl broke the tree line and glared at the half chewed carcass. "Look at it all gnawed on by this filthy, disease bearin', motherless, poxy bastard" He accentuated each word by delivering a heavy booted kick to the walker corpse.

"Calm down son, that's not helping"

Spud scooted back out of the way as the angered Dixon brother rounded the corpse towards Dale. "What do you know old man? Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to _'on golden pond'_?" She shook her head biting her lip knowing it would be an inappropriate time to start laughing. _Well at least today just got a bit more interesting, I pity the poor bastard that has to tell him about Merle._ She watched as he ripped the crossbow bolts from the deer's hide. "I've been trackin' this deer for miles, gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison" He ripped out the last bolt from the deer hide and then motioned to the wound on its neck. "What do you think? Do you think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?" He looked around the group for approval but was met with none.

"I would _not_ risk that"

"That's a damn shame, I got us some squirrel," He pulled at the string over his shoulder. "About a dozen or so, that'll have to do"

Neon looked down at the deer before looking down at Spud as he sniffed at it eyeing it hungrily; she couldn't remember the last time he'd had a decent meal, and knelt scratching his ear. "Tell you what, I'll cut you off a leg tonight," She murmured into his ragged half-ear and kissed it lightly before grinning as his tail began to wag even faster. "But _after_ everyone's asleep"

The pitbull wuffled softly before swiftly turning and growling, he snapped at the walker head as it opened its eyes and began to work its jaw causing it to roll from side to side. "Come on people, what the hell," Daryl's arrow landed in its head. "It's gotta be the brain, don't ya'll know nothin'?"

She stood and shifted her weight from her right leg, sleeping rough was playing hell with old injuries and more recently it had been getting worse. She chalked the pains up to ghost pains and being more physically active that normal than it being related to anything truly serious.

"Merle, get your ugly ass out here!" Daryl called out for his brother as he headed towards the main fire pit. "Got us some squirrel!"

Neon leant back against the 'Am's front fender and began to roll a cigarette as she watched both Rick and Shane head towards Daryl. "This is goin' to be the dogs bollocks" She murmured lighting her cigarette and watching as the scene played out, going straight from calm and rational to a tornado's fury in a matter of seconds causing Shane to grab Daryl and wrestle him into a chokehold. She sighed pushing herself off the fender of the 'Am and started towards them, only stopping to scoop up the discarded hunting knife and tuck it into her belt. She side stepped Rick and knelt in front of Daryl looking him in the eye before beginning to speak calmly in the hopes of salvaging the situation and allowing the younger Dixon brother to get his head back. "Saighdeoir, you know exactly what your brother's like, he can fly off the handles, just like _you_ ca–"

"Stay out of th–"

"Am I fuckin' talkin' to you?" She cut Shane off, just as he had to her, using the same tone she did when one of her subordinates had talked back to her, the cold eyed glare that accompanied it was enough to make both men in front of her flinch, and she redirected her attention back to Daryl. "Stow that shit and just fuckin' listen to what he's," She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Rick. "Got to say" She waited for an answer and received a stiff jerking nod. "Good" Shane released him shoving him forward roughly as she stood and retreated to the shade of the RV.

"What I did was not on a whim; your brother does not work and play well with others"

"It's not Rick's fault," T-dog interrupted them stepping forward. "I had the key, I dropped it"

"You couldn't pick it up?"

"I dropped it down a drain"

Daryl snorted softly before standing. "If it's supposed to make me feel better, it don't"

"Maybe this will; I chained the door to the roof shut, so the geeks couldn't get at him, with a padlock" T-Dog explained.

The younger Dixon brother looked away wiping the sweat from his eyes. "Hell with all ya'll, just tell me where he is so's I can go get him" There was a pathetic whining undertone to his voice.

Neon listened silently as they quickly came to a consensus of heading back into the city and then turned her back of the situation heading back towards the 'Am. She held up Daryl's knife by the tip when she heard his heavy footfalls following her and kept a hold of the tip for a moment when he grabbed the handle. "Watch yourself," She warned. "It's hazardous to my health if I have to keep savin' your arse from the fire"

He snorted as she let go of the blade. "Don't need you savin' me again, Neon. Ain't nothin' takin' me down"

Her lips quirked in a grin as she slapped him on the back. "Aye, got get 'em tiger" She offered him the remainder of her cigarette before walking off to help Carol and the others gather the camp's laundry.

 

Neon stood in the shallows of the quarry's basin, her pair of ratty old jeans rolled up to the knees as she wrung out laundry that was handed to her. Somewhere behind her Shane and Carl were supposedly catching frogs and in front of her were Carol, Jacqui, Andrea and Amy scrubbing and soaking clothing, and behind them, sitting on his ass at the car sucking on a cigarette, was Ed. She rolled her eyes fishing out a cigarette she'd rolled earlier and lit it before stuffing the carton back down her bra with her lighter. She inhaled deeply filling her lungs with the asinine smoke before tipping her head back and exhaling through her teeth as she waited for someone to hand her something to wring out.

"Can someone explain to me how the women wound up doing all the Hattie McDaniel work?" The low query came from Jacqui.

"The world ended, didn't you get the memo?"

Neon took another drag on her cigarette and caught the piece of clothing Andrea tossed to her. "It's like livin' in the fifties again," She groused wringing out the shirt. "Women get to do all the housework and hard labour, heaven forbid should we usurp the men's authority," She snorted a laugh as she handed the shirt off to Jacqui. "Like him," She tossed her head in Ed's direction. "He's fuckin' sittin' there watchin' us like we're goddamn bitches on parade instead of gettin' off his goddamn arse and helpin' us," She directed her gaze to Carol. "Forgive me, but he's pissin' me off, as is knobhead back there" She jerked her head towards Shane.

Carol smiled awkwardly looking down at the clothing she was scrubbing. "It's all right," She spoke softly before changing the subject. "I do miss my Maytag"

"I miss my Benz," Andrea chimed in. "And my Sat-Nav"

"I miss my coffeemaker with that dual drip filter and built in grinder, honey" Jacqui smiled warmly obviously remembering the taste of good coffee as she wrung out another shirt.

"I miss my computer, and texting" Amy chimed in as she picked up another shirt to scrub.

"I miss my workshop," Neon commented after a brief moment of thought. "And it's stupid, screechy hoist" She added afterwards as she thought about the old blue auto hoist that screeched like a banshee when it got midway up every time it was used.

"I miss my vibrator"

There was a brief second of silence before they all burst out laughing and Carol took a sneaky look over her shoulder at her husband before lowering her head and smiling. "Me too" The laughter echoed louder.

"What's so funny?"

Neon rolled her eyes as Ed wandered down from the car and handed another piece of clothing off to Jacqui before looking skyward and wondering if it would clear up enough to dry the clothing.

"Got a problem, Ed?"

"None that concerns you," He glared at Andrea before directing his words at Carol. "And you ought to focus on your work, this ain't no comedy club"

Neon watched silently, she was willing to step back and let Andrea have her say, and would only step in if it looked to get physical. She snapped a finger towards Spud and he immediately moved to her side as she pointed to it before looking up at her with a wide mouthed grin, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

"Tell you what, Ed. You don't like how your laundry's being done, you are welcome to pitch in and do it yourself," Andrea stood threw the shirt in her hands at Ed. "Here"

He immediately threw it right back hitting her in the face and chest. "Ain't my job, missy"

Neon heaved a small sigh and smoothed back a few loose strands of hair as the situation began to deteriorate and stepped towards the rest of the group ready to step in. Spud followed standing on guard and she knew he would launch into a full on attack at just a word.

"What _is_ your job, Ed? Sitting on your ass all day smoking cigarette's?"

"Well it sure as hell ain't listening to some uppity smart mouthed bitch," He shot back and looked past Andrea to Carol. "Come on, let's go"

That was when she moved and situated herself between him and the group; she wouldn't let this go on any longer. "Do us all a favour and sod off," She growled and jerked her head towards the camp. "We don't need you sittin' down here watchin' us," She could see Carol move in her peripheral. "And Carol, sure as shit, doesn't need to go anywhere with you. She ain't a fuckin' dog"

"And I say it ain't any of your business," Ed glared looking past her at Carol. "Come on now, or you'll regret it later"

The threat was enough to make her see red and she fought not to flip the switch of her anger, instead she clenched her fist and jaw, squared her shoulders, straightened out her posture and made sure to stay between them. "You lay a hand on her and I'll fuckin' gut you and string you from a tree myself" She snarled her words taking a threatening step forward and Ed instinctively took a step back. Carol wrapped her hand around her wrist and shook her head lightly signalling she'd go with him when she looked back.

"You don't want to keep proddin' the bull here, okay? Now I am _done_ talkin'"

Carol's grip tightened around her wrist as Ed grabbed her. "Let her go," She spat, Spud still waiting in the fringes for her command. "I fuckin' said, let her go!" She yelled out the command when he failed to listen and the bones in her neck clicked harshly as he backhanded her, warm blood rolling down her chin from the split in her lip as she retaliated with her own heavy blow, Carol's grip around her wrist became vice like as she tried to stop her. Neon readied herself for another blow until Ed was dragged away and thrown to the ground. She had to blink and stop for a moment before realising it was Shane that had dragged him off and thrown him to the ground, and was now laying into him in some sort of postal rage. She quickly linked her fingers through Carol's to stop her from running forward and intervening and getting hurt, she let go of Carol's hand allowing her to run to her husband as Shane stood leaving him beaten and bloody on the ground before looking at them and walking off.

_Jesus. And I thought_ _ **I**_ _was bad._ Neon watched him go before wiping harshly at her split lip and spat a wad of bloody spit off to the side, her fingers touching the now tender part of her cheekbone and she wondered just how bad it would bruise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Lingo Translations**  
>  _Dogs Bollocks - great/fucking fabulous._ Generally Neon uses this sarcastically, though there are time when she may mean it seriously.  
>  _Knobhead - Dickhead._ Kind of an obvious one.


	8. Chapter 8

Neon shifted in her chair near the fire trying to get comfortable, her cheek ached reminding her the day had started off pretty shit but it had slowly gotten better over its course. She stroked Spud's head as it rested on her thigh, his eyes closed until they shot open and his head went up, body going tense. "What is it, handsome?" She murmured as the pitbull turned his head away from her looking towards the wooded area and whined softly trotting off a few paces before staring out into the darkness. She frowned softly, her hand automatically going to her weapon to check it was still at her hip and loaded.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Shane's voice drew her attention and she looked up to find the eyes of the group had fallen on her and she placed a finger to her lips before pointing towards Spud who was watching the tents and surrounding woodland area, his body rigid, stumpy tail in the air moving stiffly and slowly from side to side. "Somethin' is out there, and he can hear it" An unsettling feeling rested in her bones as Spud peered into the darkness, his lips peeling back to reveal his teeth as he began to lower himself, the fur long his spine beginning to stand on end before a scream sounded from the RV and everyone's attention was ripped towards it. Amy was stood holding the door with blood pouring from the bite to her arm, the discoloured walker quickly dragging her down and her screams soon becoming drowned out by the others as more walkers began to flood the camp.

Neon shot out of her seat quickly freeing her gun and took aim hitting one ugly, patchy bastard between the eyes, the next shot hit home between another walkers eyes as did the next four emptying the S&W Stealth Hunter's chambers. She huffed in annoyance, as much as she loved the revolver is was only a six shot, but six well placed headshots were still better than a magazine's worth of shitty chest shots. She swapped the revolver for her desert eagle and gave Spud the go ahead before letting off more shots as the pitbull raced towards a walker and leapt up knocking it to the ground and tore at its face before turning to bring down another coming up behind them. She put a round through each ones skull and continued to get off shots only stopping to swap her empty mag for her spare. "Spud!" She called to the dog and pointed to the walkers bearing down on the group by the main fire pit, he raced over as she let off more shots and tore at a walkers lower limbs to cripple it before dragging it away by its throat, and she shifted her aim putting a bullet through its eye before grabbed a monkey wrench that had been left out as she exhausted the last round in her spare magazine.

She swung around swinging the wrench hard taking down a walker that had been trying to come up behind her, Spud tore into its throat as she delivered another blow crushing its skull. Sweat was beginning to cling to her skin making lines through the splashes of blood and she breathed out a sigh of relief hearing a gunshot ring out from the back of the camp. _Looks like the cavalry's finally arrived._ She swung a heavy blow at another walker taking it down before curb stomping its skull into its brain.

As the gunfire and screams finally died down, she let her eyes wander over the scared and dishevelled camp and cast the wrench aside wiping her bloody hands down her jeans before doubling over slightly to catch her breath. "Atta boy," She grinned scratching Spud's head as he pressed his nose to her cheek before she straightened up and found Daryl a few steps away surveying the destruction. "Find your brother, saighdeoir?" She called out to him, his head snapping towards her before he moved towards her and shook his head.

"Found his hand instead" She laughed, she knew she really shouldn't have because it wasn't funny but given everything that had just happened she couldn't help it. "What the fuck happened to you? Run into a fuckin' tree or something?" He asked as she wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, her cheek and lip were still tender from Ed's backhand.

She shrugged in answer. "Doesn't matter, had worse" She commented reaching out and whisked away a droplet of blood from his cheek and flicked it off to the side; she noted how he flinched at the action.

"Bullshit," He growled and batted her hand away. "What happened?"

She turned to look in the RV's wing mirror and felt a frown twitch at her brow, she'd checked the damage after Lori had helped her wash the blood off her face, but now the bruises were beginning to show better, a dark ring had begun to form at the corner of her eye, the redness of her cheek giving way to dark shadows but at least her lip wasn't nearly as swollen as it had been. "Does it matter? Words were said, I got backhanded, and Shane went postal on Ed," She shrugged lightly trying to play off what had happened before finally turning back to Daryl and chuckling softly. "I've had much worse than being backhanded by a prick like Ed. You know, I have a really nice compliment of bullet and shrapnel scars" She rolled her shoulders trying to ease the tension in them, her eyes scanning the aftermath of the destruction. "I would kill for a stiff drink about now" When she'd been in the military, after every good fight, she'd sit with all her comrades and they drink, they'd toast the fallen and a job well done, they wouldn't sit and sulk about what had gone wrong, they'd celebrate, they'd reminisce about their fallen brethren, and laugh and joke and have a good time.

"Same"

"We lack one crucial component," She tipped her head towards him and grinned. "Alcohol, can't get drunk off the air" Her eyes strayed to Andrea who was crying and holding her sisters hand, Amy had long since bled out and it was only a matter of time before she turned. Neon shook her head. _It's only a matter of time before it gets up and bites her._ She began to think about her own brother and how they'd been separated the night Boston had fallen to the disease. Her brow creased, she could remember all the sights and sounds, the growls of the dead, the screams of mothers losing their children, and the gunfire from soldiers gunning down innocent civilians. She shut her eyes, the ghost sounds echoing in her mind and in her ears, as if it were happening then and there and not a month and a half ago.

**=Night of the Boston outbreak=**

The building shook as a tank let off a shot in one of the neighbouring streets below. "We've got to get the fuck out of here _now_ , Quinn" Her voice echoed through the apartment as she double checked the old canvas pack before buckling it and slinging it over her shoulder, and turned to the gun safe quickly punching in the four digit code. She emptied the few boxes of ammo into another bag and attached her desert eagle and holster to her thigh before slinging her trusty L115A3 over her shoulder as well. She grabbed the last gun from the shelf, an AMT Hardballer that had been a gift from her to Quinn, and snatched the old FS fighting knife from her bedside table before heading out into the hallway. "You clean out the meds and non-perishables?" She queried passing Quinn's room soon back tracking when she didn't receive an answer. "Hey! Stop bein' a soddin' muppet and get your shit together"

Her brother's head snapped up as he jerked out of his daze. "Ye-yeah, everythin's by the front door, ready and waitin'" He gave a jerk of his head in the general direction of the front door and began to zip up his bag slinging it over his shoulder before he took the gun she held out to him. He looked at it in his hands for a moment testing its weight before strapping it to his hip. "So what's our plan?"

"Workshop, then Atlanta" She had already been two steps ahead from the minute she found out they were putting the city under a military cordon and weren't allowing people to leave. She stepped into the large open living room to gather the last of the things they'd need.

"You think it's bad there?"

She paused looking at the photo frame on her desk before reaching out and picking it up. "I fuckin' hope not" She murmured flipping the frame over to retrieve the photo of her, Connor and Amelia in front of the 'Am from inside and quickly tucked it down her shirt. The city had been put into a lockdown with a city wide communications jam being enforced meaning she'd lost her one line of communication with her children. The city wide jam had plunged the entire city into a scared submission before one person had asked the wrong question and it had sparked a riot, a riot which had now plunged the city into utter chaos. She rescued another photo from her desk before pulling away and grabbing an old worn denim jacket off the back of the couch and started for the door. "Let's go"

They stuck to the sides of the stairwell as they made their way down to the underground carpark and she hesitated when they neared the carpark entrance. Quinn almost ran into her back and was about to question her until she placed a finger to her lips shushing him before she pointed to the elderly woman hovering in the doorway to the carpark. It was someone they knew very well, Mrs. Peters, a nice old lady that often looked in on Connor and Amelia on occasion and treated them like her own grandchildren. "…Margery?" She called out to the old lady before drawing her desert eagle as Mrs. Peters turned towards them, the lower half of her face and throat missing and her chest dripping blood from several deep slash wounds, before she lunged at the two of them.

The deafening shot rang out in the stairwell echoing and causing both to reel slightly, Quinn grimacing with his hands over his ears. "Thank god for your fuckin' hand cannon, aye sis?"

She threw him a grin over her shoulder and stepped over the now dead body of Mrs. Peters. She peered into the carpark and when she found nothing moving she began to jog towards her 'Am. She rubbed at her ears hoping the ringing would cease sooner rather than later as she came to a halt and opened up the boot throwing her things in before slipping into the driver's seat. "So what the fuck is goin' on? A person shouldn't be able to survive like that"

"Not a fuckin' clue" Quinn muttered as he began to fiddle with the radio, it was touchy on the best of days.

She clenched the steering wheel before tearing out of the space between an old cooler truck and their neighbour's newest pickup, the 'Am's back end bounced as it hit the surface road. "Anythin'?" She queried not bothering to risk a glance at her brother as he continued to fiddle with the radio frequencies.

"Shut up and give me a minute" He groused before grinning and turning up the volume.

**_"This just in, local law enforcement and military have opened fire on rioters–"_ **

The radio transmission was cut short before another replaced it.

**_"The office of civil defence has issued the following message; Normal broadcasting will cease immediately, this is a civil emergency, avoid anyone infected at all costs. Remain calm, help is on the way"_ **

"Good luck with that one, mate" She murmured before slamming on the brakes and pulling hard to the left before hitting the gas again as they narrowly avoided a tank that had pulled out of a side street to block their path. "Mary mother of fuckin' Christ!" She swore and glanced in the rear view mirror.

"Watch your tongue," Quinn scolded her. "Da would cut it out for that"

"Yeah, well, Da ain't here, now is he?" She snapped lightly before pressing the accelerator to the floor occasionally tapping the brakes to avoid the numerous people, wounded and not, out trolling the streets. "We've got to find a fuckin' way out of Boston"

"They said the military were blockin' all roads in and out, you got a fuckin' plan?"

"Not yet" She confessed. "But I'm workin' on one. One way or the other, I'm gettin' to Atlanta to get my babies back" She jammed on the brakes. _Oh fuck me_. Staring back at them sitting in the centre to the road to block the streets exit was a tank. "Shit" She swore as the turret began to turn towards them and she quickly twisted in her seat throwing the 'Am into reverse and hooked her arm around the back of the passengers headrest forcing the car to reverse into an alleyway. They barely made it into the alley before the tank fired a projectile, debris pelted the 'Am as the round struck the stonework of the building beside them.

" _Jesus!_ " Quinn swore long and loud. "That was a hare's breath from takin' us out"

She nodded in agreement as she gripped the steering wheel and checked the rear view mirror, going back into the street was suicide but thankfully the alley backed onto what appeared to be another street. She exhaled through her teeth and began to reverse along the alleyway into the other street, this one only marginally quieter than the previous. "We need a plan"

"Aye, I just fuckin' said that" Quinn was trembling beside her.

"No," She shook her head. "I mean we need a plan encase somethin' happens to one of us, encase we get separated…" She trailed off into silence for a moment before clenching the leather of the steering wheel again. "Encase one of us gets bit"

Silence enveloped the car and she glanced towards her brother, she knew it had torn him up when he'd nearly lost her a few years ago, she didn't even want to think about what would happen to him if she ended up like one of those things. "If I get bit…" The column of his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly before finishing quietly. "Put me down"

Her knuckles turned white as she instinctively clenched the steering wheel tighter before giving a sharp nod. "Aye, same here," She forced herself to loosen her grip. "Whatever happens, we keep goin' to Atlanta, we find Amelia and Connor"

Quinn nodded as they pulled into the forecourt of the workshop. The headlights of the 'Am came to rest on a small group of the dead chowing down on someone of something. She readied her eagle as she pushed open the door and began to let off shots, weak cries for help filtered into the air as the growls died out and she felt her heart wrench in her chest. "Goddamn it, Mikey" She hauled the corpses off the young mechanic and knelt beside him smoothing back his hair, his torso had been torn open and the side of his throat was sporting a deep laceration. She shook her head and felt him clutch her hand. "There's nothin' I can do, I can't help you" She explained before his eyes danced to the gun in her hand as he let out a pained gurgle. "Are you sure?" She looked towards the gun in her hand, never before had it felt so heavy than what it did now. He nodded weakly and she placed the warm barrel against the flesh behind his ear. "I'm sorry, kid" She gave him a warm smile, a mother's smile, before pulling the trigger.

Silence fell over the area as she stood and began to walk towards the office door. "Come on" She heard Quinn's soft prayer for Mikey and made the sign of the cross over her chest before opening up the office and headed into the workshop grabbing tools and throwing them into a dirty old canvas duffle bag that served as her tool box.

"Ray?"

"…Yeah?" She knew the quiet tone he'd used too well, he was conflicted, unsure of the choices in his mind.

"I don't know if I could"

She looked over her shoulder at him. "You have too"

"I-I'm not you, Ray. I can't just switch it off," He looked up glassy eyed. "I-I couldn't do what you just did"

"I don't expect you to ever be like me, Quinn" She drew him into a hug as she spoke before holding him at arm's length to look at him. "But whatever comes back isn't the person that got bit, it wouldn't be me" He nodded sullenly. "Now come on, we've still got to figure a way out of this death trap they've corralled us into" She started for the office again and began to rifle through the papers scattered across the desk to find the things she wanted. Her fingers brushed over the picture Amelia had drawn for her and she smiled picking it up to look at it before folding it and tucking it into her pocket.

"We've got a problem" Quinn called from the doorway.

She looked up and made her way over to the door before scowling softly at the number of dead milling about in the forecourt. "The gunfire must have attracted them, there's no way we'll get through all that shit" She growled softly and quickly glanced in Quinn's direction when she received silence. "Quinn, no" She spoke firmly trying to dissuade him from the idea obviously brewing in his mind.

"Ray, _you_ need to get to Atlanta," He forced a smile as he clapped her on the shoulder. "I can draw them away so you can get out to the 'Am and get out of here, so they don't overrun you"

"Shut your fuckin' mouth, Quinn" She wanted to slap him, despite the sense she saw in his suggestion, he was her brother and she didn't want to face whatever this was without him. They were close, even when they fought they never stayed angry for long and they always made amends and patched things up.

"Leave my bag in the office. I'll circle back and pick it up when I've got a chance"

Her hands shook as she hugged him tightly before placing both hands on his cheeks and smiling. "My baby brother," She grinned and kissed his forehead. "You'd better survive this shit"

He swallowed hard. "Good luck sis, tell Con and Amelia I love 'em" He turned looking out the door again. "I don't say this often enough Ray but I love you"

"I love you too, Quinn"

"I'll meet you in Atlanta" She nodded watching him dash from the safety of the office and begin yelling to draw the dead's attention. She waited until the forecourt was clear and made her way over to the 'Am grabbing his pack and leaving it in the office as he'd asked. Her hands trembled as she slid back into the car and leant back in her seat, she closed her eyes for a moment wishing it was all just a bad dream, that she'd wake up in bed to Amelia pouncing on her and telling her it was time to get up. She opened her eyes and found her sight blurry, tears burning as she tried to blink them away. _For the love of god Quinn, you'd better make it to Atlanta._

**=Present Day=**

"You still here, Neon?" She jerked back slightly as Daryl's hand waved in front of her eyes and she blinked a few times before looking at him.

"Aye, ace. Still here" She rubbed at the back of her neck and glanced up at Dale accepting the bottle of water he offered with a small nod before running a hand up through her hair. She scowled as her fingers snagged in the blood matted strands of chestnut hair and pushed a few loose strands from her face before taking a long drink from her bottle and using a bit to wash the blood off her hands.

"You hear anythin' I said?"

"Sure" Truthfully she hadn't, she hadn't even realised he'd been talking to her but she was on the edge of despondency, suddenly exhausted; exhausted from running and hiding, exhausted from trying to fight an enemy that had no obvious signs of weakness. The only way to kill them dead was to nail them in the head, body shots did nothing to slow them, they didn't need to eat to survive, they didn't need to sleep and they sure as hell didn't get winded.

Neon rolled her shoulders trying to ease the tension that had collected between them and let her head fall back until she was staring skyward and the stars dotting the night sky. Her vision of the stars blurred briefly and she blinked trying to force them away before discretely swiping them from her eyes and turning her attention to Spud as he lay, head on his paws, watching Andrea with her sister. He was waiting, just as everyone else was, for Amy to turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Lingo Translations**
> 
> _Muppet - Idiot.  
>  Ace - Good/excellent._ RM slang that Neon uses more often than not.


	9. Chapter 9

Daryl watched as Neon swung the pickaxe into the skulls of one of the dead camp members, she looked more refreshed that she had the night before, like she'd actually gotten proper sleep. He knew she'd slept in her car all night and he had a feeling the conversation he'd tried to have with her the night before hadn't registered, she'd had a glassy distant look in her eyes, as if she were reliving something that hurt deeply. His eyes moved towards Spud, the dog was still laying on the ground eyeing Andrea and her dead sister, his eyes had never left through throughout the course of the night, even after Neon had washed him free of blood and guts he'd gone right back to laying on the ground watching them. Daryl moved to another body taking a moment to pause and watch the woman, currently occupying his mind, work; her muscles clenched and released with honed ease as she hauled the heavy pickaxe over her shoulder again before letting it swing down to split open the head of the corpse at her feet, and then she swung again, effectively delivering what would have been a double tap. _Don't leave anything to chance, do you Neon?_ He looked down at the body of the dead survivor at his feet, it was one of the men Merle had gotten into a scrap with when they'd first arrived, it had been a stupid bust up over the Bonneville's engine and how it was probably going to draw attention to the camp. He could remember his brother pouring every bit of money he possibly could into the Bonneville and any leftover generally went on finding some drugs, a six pack, and a hooker.

"All right, saighdeoir," Neon's voice drew his attention and he focused on her finding her now leaning against the handle of the pickaxe as she wiped away sweat from her brow. "Quit takin' a gander and explain somethin' to me" She pointed in the direction of the two piles. "What's with the two piles?"

He looked towards the two piles silently and then shrugged lightly. "Ours," He motioned to the pile on the right that was filled with dead survivors. "Theirs," He motioned to the other. "Don't know why they're bein' separated"

She nodded and stretched, her back arching and tank top riding up to expose part of her torso giving him a glimpse at the ink tattooed into the skin just to the right of her belly and above her hip, he tried to remember what it had been when he saw her half naked at the gas station; if he remembered correctly it had been four flowers, two black and two white. "So, I take it this hasn't happened before then?"

"Not while I've been here it ain't"

Her lips curved into a coy smirk. "Don't get cheeky now, saighdeoir. I might just have to knock you down a peg or two" He snorted swinging at the walker at his feet, the pickaxe splitting its head in two. _Like to see you try, Neon._

 

Neon paused in her work as Rick began to walk towards Andrea and cocked her brow as the blonde drew her gun on Rick forcing him to slowly retreat and a small sigh slipped from her lips. Originally she had understood Andrea's need to be with her sister but since Amy had passed she was steadily beginning to lose her patience over the fact that Andrea still had yet to ensure she wouldn't return.

"Ya'll can't be serious, lettin' that girl hamstring us," Daryl's voice echoed over the camp, apparently she wasn't the only one beginning to lose patience. "The dead girls a time bomb"

"What do you suggest?"

"Take the shot and put it out of its misery, ensure the safety of the livin'," Her eyes never left the two sisters but she felt the eye of every single person in the small group fall on her and she offered an uncaring shrug. "I've seen what those things do to people they've bit, it's not fuckin' pretty, and that thing on the ground isn't Amy anymore, it's a shuffler, plain and simple"

"So what? We just go over there and put a bullet in Amy and have done with it?" Lori rebuked.

"What part of _'that's not her sister anymore'_ do you not seem to understand?" She sighed and rubbed at the bridge of her nose as a dull ache began to start behind her eyes. " _Amy_ is dead, that _thing_ will come back to life and start chowin' down on whoever is closest before it starts gnawin' on _us_ ," She motioned to the small circle they were all stood in. "And me, personally, I have no intentions on gettin' bit because none of you want to hurt someone feelin's. The acceptable time to let Andrea handle it has passed, we need to do somethin' before it's up and about again"

Silence answered her before Lori broke it. "We can't just go over there and shoot her without Andrea's consent"

Neon rolled her eyes as her headache persisted. "Then let me do it from here" Annoyance laced her tone, the subject was becoming repetitive, like a broken record. Shoot it, burn it and have done with it, was it really such a hard concept to grasp?

"Hell, I'll do it. I could hit a turkey between the eyes from here" Daryl leant his weight to her argument.

"No, for god sake both of you," Lori looked disgusted at both of them. "Let her be"

Neon shook her head and turned away. "Don't come cryin' to me when it wakes up and bites someone" She called over her shoulder hauling the bloody pickaxe up again before turning back to the rest of the corpses that still needed to be dealt with, she paused to watch Spud for a second, he had no intentions on leaving his spot anytime soon and it gave her some small peace of mind.

"What are you guy's doing?" Glenn's worried voice sounded across the camp and Neon turned towards it to find Daryl and Morales dragging the corpse of a survivor towards the burning pile of walker corpses. "This piles for geeks, our people go over there" He pointed to another pile of corpses.

"What's the difference?" Daryl queried as he continued to drag the corpse towards the fire. "They're all infected"

"Our people go in that row over there," Glenn moved to stop them from moving the corpse any further. "We don't burn them, we bury them" He half yelled, the pain evident on his face.

"You reap what you sow" Daryl's words were met with Morales telling him to shut up but she couldn't help but agree with Daryl's sentiment, they had no idea what would happen if they buried the bodies, it was still a potential they'd poison the ground and make it unusable for future use.

Her attention was snapped to Jacqui as she began to yell a bite and jumped away from Jim, the entire camp quickly descending upon him as he grabbed a shovel and began to brandish it as a weapon. _He's fucking delirious._ Both Rick and Shane tried to calm him and get him to put the spade down before T-Dog grabbed him from behind and Daryl lifted his shirt exposing the wound, he quickly dropped the fabric as if he'd touched acid and moved away from him. _He's going to end up like all the others._ She watched cautiously as Rick led Jim away to the rear of the RV and sat him down talking to him for a few seconds before finally making his way back over to them.

"So what do we do about him?"

"I say we put a pickaxe in his head, and the dead girls, and be done with it"

Neon nodded her agreement; it was much more favourable than the excruciating pain he would have to go through. She could still remember the little girl she'd stumbled across with a chunk out of her arm, a blood soaked teddy clutched in her hands as she told her how she'd lost both her mother and her father to _'scary monsters'_.

"Is that what the two of you would want if it were you?"

"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you did it" Daryl shot back.

"Aye, that's if I don't put a bullet in my brain myself," Her headache was beginning to get worse and she wasn't sure if it was the sun or the whole inane situation she was in. "If we don't do it, he's goin' to die in excruciatin' pain"

"How the hell would you know _that_?" Shane snapped and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Because I held a fuckin' _six year old_ girl while she died," She snapped straight back at him. "And she died screamin' for her Ma and Da until her heart couldn't take it anymore" The group fell into silence, the look of sadness and pity in their eyes led her to believe they probably assumed she meant it was her own daughter when it wasn't.

"I hate to say it, I never thought I would, but maybe Daryl and Neon are right" Dale broke the silence.

"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog"

"I'm not suggesting–"

"He's sick," Rick cut him off. "A sick man, we start down that road, where do we draw the line?"

"I would have assumed it was pretty clear but apparently not," She saw curious eyes looking back at her and she decided to clarify for them. "Zero tolerance for shufflers and the bitten"

"What if we can get him help? I heard the CDC was working on a cure"

"I heard that too, heard a lot of things before the world went to hell"

"What if the CDC is still up and running?"

Neon sighed mutely and shook her head as she contemplated on just simply walking away from the conversation; it was obvious they still thought there was help out there somewhere. She was about to turn and walk away before she heard a mention of Fort Benning. "You seriously think there's still a military left after this long?" She snorted a derisive laugh. "The night Boston fell I watched innocent men, women and children die at soldier's hands," She remembered staring down the tank and its turret. "Hell, Quinn and I almost got taken out by a goddamn tank that fired on us," She shifted her weight and shook her head. "Hell opened her gates and let the dead roam free, there _is_ no government or military instillations left, they all jumped ship and either joined the ranks of the dead or decided a bullet was a more favourable solution" Her eyes drifted over the group and landed on Daryl as he stood silently with a frown, his mind ticking away behind his eyes. "Only reason any of _us_ survived is because we were either strong enough to fight or smart enough to hide"

"You go lookin' for aspirin, do what you need to do," He started to walk backwards with a pickaxe in hand. "Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem" He yelled out getting ready to swing the pickaxe at Jim.

Neon's hand immediately went to the gun strapped to her thigh as Rick pulled his Python on Daryl, the latter immediately halting his mission to solve their dilemma.

"We don't kill the living"

"That's funny comin' from a man who just put a gun to my head"

She soon relaxed seeing the situation wasn't going to get any worse and turned away heading towards the 'Am deciding she'd had enough of the conversation, all it was doing was running in circles and the throbbing behind her eyes was beginning to make her mood sour. She popped the boot and began to rifle through the box of brown and white bottles looking for something to numb the pain.

"You keepin' drugs from everyone?"

She threw a glare over her shoulder at Daryl and saw him take an unconscious step back, she wasn't in the mood to joke about. "You sayin' neither you nor Merle have a secret stash squirreled away somewhere?" She shot back finally finding the bottle of the strongest pain killers she had. "That's what I thought" She muttered when she received silence and snatched up a bottle of water to wash the pills down, she grimaced at the luke warm water before resting on the 'Am's boot and held out the bottle to Daryl.

"You a fuckin' neat freak or somethin'?"

She glanced over her shoulder at the 'Am's boot, it had been organised with bags and boxes. To the right were boxes of canned food, jerky, M.R.E's and a few bottles of clean water. To the left there was a small box of meds she'd raided from a crashed ambulance along with another bag filled with bandages, sutures and other medical supplies. The centre of the boot had been filled with a few folded blankets and pillow cases and another pillow underneath a spare of bag of clothing and a bag of dog biscuits she'd found, unopened, in an apartment she'd looted. "Blame the military, I always did" She shrugged and then laughed. "At least I know when someone's gone through my shit; I'm pretty anal retentive about how I organise things" It was true, it had been drilled into her during her training, the RM hadn't abided by any sort of laziness, everything was to be neat and tidy, organised. It was something she'd picked up quickly within the first few days, the first day of KP duty and the second day of cleaning latrines had been more than enough for her to learn from her mistakes.

Daryl's attention soon moved from looking through the bottles of meds to Andrea and Amy as the latter began to stir. "Stupid bitch," He swore shaking his head. "Should have fuckin' listened"

Neon watched on blankly as Andrea rested her forehead against the sluggish corpses and placed a gun to its head, a gunshot ringing out soon afterwards, its brain flying out the side of its skull as she finally ended its existence.

 

Neon stroked Spud's head silently as she listened to Shane and Rick discuss the plan to move on to the CDC, Shane stressing the importance of sticking together all while simultaneously giving her and Daryl a _'you're both welcome to interrupt and announce you're leaving at any point'_ look before turning back to the rest of the group. She contemplated it briefly, stay with the group and cross through territory she had yet to cover or venture out all on her lonesome again with Spud and do the same. _I can always leave once we reach the CDC_. She'd been weighing out the pros and cons for the duration of the conversation. _Staying with the group would be added security, a better nights sleeps than a quick kip in the car._ She watched people start to disperse and called out to Dale that she was taking a walk before heading down the path that led to the basin, Spud ever faithful at her side. _Venturing out on my lonesome means I can move at my own pace, no need to share my supplies or deal with macho man's alpha persona… but then again,_ _ **with**_ _the group I'm not liable to run myself ragged._ She listened to the crunch of gravel under her boots. _But if I leave then there's absolutely_ _ **no**_ _risk of getting attac–_

"Hey!" Her internal debate was cut short by Daryl's sudden yell and she paused allowing him to catch up to her before giving a jerk of her head in a nod as they continued to walk in silence until they reached the basin. "You stickin' around with the rest of them?" He jerked his head towards the camp in question as she picked up a handful of stones.

She shrugged. "It's ground I haven't covered yet, but I don't think it's an entirely stellar idea for me to stick around," She tried to skip a stone across the surface of the basin and watched it sink instead. "I don't play well with others, especially when they're too similar to myself," She could remember the last time she dealt with someone that was too similar to herself, it had been a fellow officer, and it hadn't ended pretty. "It never ends pretty, and I can guarantee Shane and I will have it out one of these days"

She heard growl come from him and glanced over at him to find him standing with his hands clenched at his sides. "Come on man, I'm sick of all the good people leavin'," He half yelled at her, and it became apparent that she'd hit a sore point with her words. "First Merle, now you. No one in this camp can fight worth shit 'cept a few of us" He threw a stone at the water watching it skim across the top skipping a few paces before sinking.

She looked down at Spud to find him looking up at her and then turned her gaze back on Daryl and met his angry one. "You and I both know Shane doesn't want me around, we're too similar and he knows he can't fear monger me into complyin' with him"

"Fuck him!" Daryl spat angrily.

"No thanks," She snorted looking down at the stone in her hands as silence fell between them and then threw it watching as it sunk. "You honestly want me to stay?"

Daryl looked away shrugging, his anger suddenly deflated as she all but called him out. "I guess," He muttered, his posture had become awkward and tense, it was almost defensive. "I know you got your kids to find, hell, I'll help you find 'em if that's what it takes," She looked over at him with a new found affection, a smile tugging at her lips at his, somewhat, touching gesture. "But everyone's either dyin' or leavin' or disappearin' and it's bullshit" He groused throwing another stone, the water rippling as it sunk. "Plus we'd never get to settle our pissin' match, about who's the better shot"

She laughed loudly; there was no one alive that could match her shot for shot with a gun. "We _both_ know who the better shot is, saighdeoir," She grinned nudging him lightly and throwing his balance off briefly. "I am" She tried to skip another stone and frowned as it sunk, she'd never been any good at skipping stones.

"In your dreams, Neon"

"Oh no, no, no, no, I am _definitely_ the better shot," She grinned roguishly. "Well, with a gun I am, at least," She added. "I've never really used a crossbow before," She looked skywards. "Maybe you can help me out with that, give me a lesson or two"

He laughed scratching at the back of his head, another awkward gesture. "So you gonna stay, or go out on your own and end up bit?"

"I'll stick around until we hit the CDC and then decide from there," She threw him another roguish grin before teasing him. "Only reason I'm stickin' 'round is 'cause you're beggin' me too"

"I ain't beggin' you for nothin' girl, won't even let me in your pants" He muttered.

Neon shook her head smiling and opted to let him think she hadn't heard the comment. "Come on, let's get back to the camp so good ol' Shane can yell at me for leavin' camp without his permission"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long, I actually had a pretty shit weekend. My pack, my four legged family, lost one of its own and I've been kind of devastated about it. Mia, my grandmothers dog and the eldest of the pack, had to be put to sleep on Saturday, she'd been sick for a while so it was kind of expected that she wasn't going to last much longer but that doesn't make it hurt any less, I mean, this dog was quite literally my best friend growing up and it hurts like hell to lose her. So yeah, I've had it a bit shit these past few days.


	10. Chapter 10

Neon wiped her hands on a rag and withdrew from the radiator as the steam rolling off it licked at her skin scalding it. "Well she's pretty fucked but if we let her cool down for a while she should be all right for at least a little while before she blows again. There's not much else I can do without someone pullin' a brand new pipe out of their arse, not unless someone can magically pull some duct tape out as well" She fell silent as she mulled over the sudden idea. _Actually, that might work. Where's a fuckin' shuffler when you need one?_

Rick nodded with a sigh. "We'll see what Shane and T-Dog come back with"

She nodded and leant against the front of the RV. "First truck we find I'm strippin' for a new hose so this shit doesn't happen again, and I'll damn well make it fit" She called out after him as he started to walk back to the rest of the group.

Dale chuckled listening to the exchange as he watched the road and surrounding area for moment. "That's _if_ we come across a truck"

"There'll be one on the roads somewhere, gotta be, just a matter of lookin' for it" She informed him as she stretched and looked for Spud before calling the dog to her, he looked over lazily before heading over and sitting down in front of her resting his head on her knee as she began to stroke the white patch under his throat waiting for the others to come back. She looked over at Dale. "What're we doin' about Jim?" She queried.

"Rick says he wants to stay here," He shook his head lightly as he looked over at her. "You were right, he's in pain"

"Aye, well, no one wanted to listen to me, did they?" She muttered shaking her head sadly before shrugging. "But done is done"

"That girl you told us about…" He trailed off looking expectantly at her.

" _Not_ my daughter, just some kid I found wanderin' the streets of some town I blew through, she had a teddy in her hand and a chunk out of her arm," She explained. "Amy was lucky, she died from blood loss, but Jim, he's dyin' in pain" She looked skyward and sighed shaking her head softly.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Just thinkin'," She murmured scratching Spud's head. "I was with Quinn the night I left Boston"

"I remember you saying something about almost getting taken out by a tank"

"Aye," She could remember that part all too well. "Well, Quinn's my brother, we got separated when he tried to draw off a group of shufflers so I could get out"

"Do you think he's still alive?"

She stayed silent, unsure of the answer, unsure if she even wanted to think about the possibilities. "I don't know," She finally confessed. "I want to believe he is, it's what keeps me goin' some days," She cracked a half-hearted smile at Dale. "Besides, aren't twins supposed to have that sixth sense, you know, they know when the other is hurt and all that bull?"

He laughed. "So who's the eldest?"

Neon grinned softly. "Me, but only by fifteen minutes though," Now it was her turn to laugh and her grin turned roguish. "I've never let him live it down either…" Her words trailed and her smile faded into sadness. "When I joined the RM, he stayed behind on the farm to help Da, and when Da died he moved to Boston just so that we weren't half a world apart," An ancient memory surfaced briefly and found herself laughing and smiling again. "Once, when we were kids, we held a race with some of the other local kids in one of the back paddocks, won a shit ton of money from them," She chuckled softly. "Da made us trudge through the sludge and rain to give the money back to the poor bastards we'd won it from when he found out"

Dale smiled laughing as well. "Well, kids will do those things"

"Aye," She sighed softly. "Made us both think twice about tellin' Da when we decided to hold another race though" She stood as Shane's jeep came into view and caught the duct tape that was thrown at her before she set into repairing the pipe the best she could.

"What's your brother's name?"

"His name?" She queried glancing over at Dale. "Quinn, Quinn O'Rourke"

 

Neon stroked Spud's head giving a nod to Jim after they settled him under a tree after he'd asked them to leave him behind. "Rest easy" She murmured and gave him a small salute before turning away and heading back down the hill towards the 'Am and soon as she reached it she leant back against the fender and began to light a cigarette. "It's goin' to get dark soon," She spoke as Rick walked passed her. "We need to find some place to stay the night"

He looked towards the sky and then nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I'll talk with Shane about it"

She nodded, resisting the urge to roll her eyes; it was always _'I'll talk it over with Shane'_. She held out a cigarette to Daryl as he came to lean against the side of the 'Am with her. "What'd you come to bug me about?"

"Heard you talkin' with the old man," He jerked his head towards Dale, who was talking with the others. "You ain't said much to anyone about your family"

She shrugged. "Don't need too"

"You said you and your brother got separated in Boston," He was silent for a moment before finally speaking again. "Dead?" The single word was asked as a question.

"Lost," She spoke softly. "…We were supposed to meet in Atlanta"

He was quiet as he tried to find something to say. "If he's anythin' like you, he'll be out there kickin' walker ass"

She tried to smile but fell flat. "That's the thing, he's not like me. I'm trained to kill, trained to put everything aside at the flip of a switch so I can get the job done," She explained and then shook her head. "He's not" She turned her attention towards Dale as he headed towards them.

"We're going to keep going until we find a flat sheltered area to make camp"

She nodded stretching as she stood and slipped back into the 'Am with Spud waiting for the RV to set off. She glanced over at Spud and sighed softly grabbing her sunglasses from the dash and put them on. "What do we do, Spud?" She looked over at the dog again. "Do we stay or do we leave when we hit the CDC?" He whined cocking his head before giving a deep woof and whining again. "So you think we should stay?" He whined again placing a paw on her thigh and stood licking at her face. "All right, all right," She pushed him away wiping at the slobber on her cheek. "Stow that shit you big soppy git," She grinned giving the stocky sandy brown beast a side on hug and kissed his muzzle. "We'll stay for now but if we stop again I'm packin' our shit and headin' out, I need to find Connor and Amelia, no more pissin' about," She glanced in the rear view mirror catching a glimpse of the dirty blue and white pickup a few cars back. "Even if I am startin' to come 'round to this whole _'group'_ idea"


	11. Chapter 11

Neon watched the flames flicker as she poked at the dying fire with a stick trying to keep it alive for a little bit longer. She was uncomfortable, the group had situated themselves closer together for extra warmth around the fire as they chatted amongst themselves and laughed about pre-outbreak time. She moved her eyes from the flames to Andrea, ever since her sister's death she'd become more quiet, more cynical and pessimistic about everyone's hope for survival. Neon felt the bite of a cramp in her right calf, it had been aching on and off along with her joint for most of the day, a side effect of sitting behind the wheel of a car for too long. She rolled up her pant leg and pressed her fingers into the scarred skin as she began to massage the muscle and knee joint, she looked up through her eyelashes when she felt eyes on her and with one quick sweep confirmed it was Carl staring at the partially revealed scar on her leg. "Go ahead kid," Immediately his cheeks flushed and he looked away, the rest of the group falling silent when she spoke. "I can see it on your face, what's your question?"

The boy looked up before pointing at the scarring. "What's it from?"

"Carl," Lori chided her son quickly pushing his hand down. "Don't be rude"

"It's all right. Kid's inquisitive, that's good," She ran her fingers over the lower half of the leg length scar as she twisted her leg so Carl could see the scar better. "It goes from my ankle up to my thigh" She motioned along the length of her leg. "You know I'm military, right?" The boy nodded fully enraptured as she began to talk. "Well, on my last deployment I was workin' on a mission behind enemy lines, my spotter and I got caught out by the enemy after they ambushed my squad," She could still remember the blast of the suicide bomber as it rocked the building they'd been scouting ready to set up shop in. "We were kept close to a month and–" She cut herself short before she used the word tortured, although it was the truth she hated remembering what they did and Carl sure as hell didn't need to know the whole truth of it. " _Interrogated_ ," She motioned to the scarring down her leg. "This was done when we first tried to escape, they figured if one of us was injured then neither of us would try and escape," She laughed shaking her head. "They were oh so wrong, George managed to patch me up and after I'd healed up a bit we made another break for it" She could remember running barefoot through the rocks and sand with George as they tried to reach their base camp, she could remember the heat of the bullets as they whizzed past them, and she would never forget the pain that had seared through every inch of her body when her makeshift stitches had torn and she'd begun to tear the wounds with every step, but most of all she could remember when they'd hunkered down in some little shit shack in some deserted spitfuck of a town and she'd told George to go on without her, that they didn't both need to get killed. "I was laid up in hospital for a month or so afterwards fightin' off an infection and recoverin' from surgery" She smiled remembering how Connor had nearly bowled her over when she'd come home. "I've had three plates and twelve screws holding my bones together"

"Does it still hurt?"

She laughed and gave a small nod. "Aye, sometimes," She confessed. "Ghost pains mostly and the cold in winter can play hell with it but other than that it's never given me a problem"

"So what'd you get? Honourable discharge?"

She glanced up at Shane, surprised she'd managed to pique his interested without having some sort of snotty insult thrown back at her. "Aye, with honours too, although my CO would gladly debate the state of my discharge with you" She rolled her shoulders to ease the tension in them. "I was given a desk job after my recovery, bored the ever livin' fuck out of me," She explained. "And so my CO and I got into a, let's call it a, _disagreement_ one lovely afternoon," She shook her head remembering the afternoon clear as day. "It ended in an all-out brawl with him missin' a chunk out of his ear and a pretty impressive display of bruisin' on both of us," She chuckled softly, an inquiry into their brawl was arduous but ultimately ended in her favour when they were given video footage of what had happened. "In my defence though, it was self-defence," She decided to clarify what she meant. "He pinned me in a corner"

"…Wait, missing an ear?" Lori screwed up her face in disgust.

"Yeah," She rubbed at the back of her neck. "I didn't hold back, probably should have now that I think about it"

"How'd you get an honourable discharge after all that?"

"Inquiry ruled in my favour since it was technically self-defence, that and they had video footage of what went down. The board offered me the option of stayin' behind a desk or discharge," She shrugged lightly. "If I couldn't be out in the thick of it anymore then there was no life for me there"

"This shits gotta be like fuckin' Christmas for you" Daryl piped up.

A brief grin crossed her lips. "It is," She confirmed. "It's actually fun bein' in the middle of it again"

"Fun, you find this _fun_?" Andrea queried incredulously, looking at her as if she'd grown another head.

"Aye," She shrugged off the look. "Is it so hard to believe that I miss the thrill of bein' involved in a firefight?" She sighed mutely, no one would ever understand it unless they'd lived her life, in her skin, for just five minutes. She wasn't an inactive person, she was supremely active, she enjoyed getting involved in things, and it was her tenacity and determination that had kept her going through the brutal thirty six week training course and on the assault course at Lympstone. "If you're worried about my sanity, don't be," She'd caught the shared look between Shane and Rick. "I'm sane enough to wield a weapon and kill anythin' or anyone that tries to kill me, that's all that counts" She picked at her fingernails cleaning the dirt and dried blood from underneath them. "What doesn't kill, maim, shatter or utterly destroy you only makes you stronger, but, in sayin' that, you have to have the will to go on, the will to keep fightin' and survivin'. For some of us," She inclined her head towards Daryl. "It comes as a base instinct, a second nature, and for others," She motioned to Shane and Rick. "It's a learned behaviour. Some of us are just more in tune with our primal instincts than others"

"So what you're saying is the strong survive and the weak die off" Dale summed it all up.

"Exactly, it's how it's always been, ever since the start of time, through every species. The weak, ill, and injured either wind up dead or left behind, and the rest strive on and forge ahead"

"That's a pretty bleak outlook on things"

"No, it's an honest outlook," She corrected Rick. "A blunt outlook, because I sure as shit won't sugar coat it for anyone, not with all the shit that's goin' on around us, that's the kind of shit that'll get someone killed" She turned her eyes skyward towards the moon and briefly tried to work out what time it was before she stood. "I'm goin' to catch some kip, wake me when you want me on watch" She turned away and headed for the 'Am before sliding in and laying out flat on passengers seat with a thick polar fleece blanket over her as Spud curled up on the back seat.

 

Neon groaned softly rubbing at her eyes, the _tap, tap, tap_ still persisting in her ears, at first she'd originally thought it was just a part of her dream but apparently not. "Yeah?" She yawned as she popped open the car door looking up at Glenn.

"Sorry," He whispered. "But it's your turn," He shook the binoculars in his hands. "Watch duty"

She nodded covering another yawn and stretched taking the binoculars from him, and grabbed her blanket knotting it at her throat before wandering towards the RV and climbing up. She paused at the top frowning softly. "What're we goin' two on fuckin' shifts now?" She queried seeing Daryl sitting in one of the chairs.

"Yeah," He yawned and rolled his eyes. "Rick thought it would be best"

She shrugged lightly. "'least I got someone to talk to now"

"You cold or somethin'?" He queried motioning to the blanket she was wrapped up in and she threw up two fingers as she poked her tongue out at him.

"Get fucked, saighdeoir," She muttered taking a seat on the hard top of the RV's roof before yawning loudly and arching an eyebrow as Daryl moved to take a seat beside her. "What?"

"Share" He tugged at the edge of the blanket.

"I'm warm," She stated bluntly. "Get your own. Not my fault you like to look like a tough badass"

"Come on, don't be a bitch Neon"

She rolled her eyes and unknotted the blanket, a soft gasp slipped out at the cold air that attacked her as soon as she opened up the cocoon enough for him to get under the blanket as well. "You're a bastard" She groused rubbing at her arms as they lapsed into silence occasionally scanning the area for any immediate danger.

"You still gonna leave when we get to the CDC?"

She glanced over at him as he broke the silence between them and shrugged. "I thought about it, even asked Spud's opinion on it," She shook her head realising how insane it made her sound. "We'll stick around, for now," She confirmed. "But if we stop again I'm breakin' off," She scanned the area as she heard twigs snap somewhere not too far from them. "The thought of my babies bein' out there in all this," She motioned to the darkness surrounding them. "It's drivin' me barmy"

"You'll find 'em, Neon," His words were of some reassurance to her. "Shit, if either of them are anythin' like you they gotta be alive and kickin' ass out here somewhere," His eyes drifted away from her. "I'd've killed for a mama like you" He added almost silently.

"She still alive?"

He shook his head. "Died when I was a kid, liked smokin' in bed"

She nodded falling silent for a few moments as she picked at a thread in the blanket. "I never knew my Ma," She murmured. "She died givin' birth to Quinn and I, Da raised us but never really talked that much about her," She explained. "I think it broke his heart" She smiled remembering the photos of her mother and father that had been on the mantel piece. "I know she was a true Irish lass though, same bright red hair as Amelia and a stunnin' set of Emeralds"

He nodded leaning slightly onto her shoulder as they lapsed into silence before finally speaking again. "You really think we got a shot with this CDC shit?"

She was silent as she debated on telling him the truth of what she thought, she'd told them earlier in the day that she wouldn't sugar coat things but sometimes, just sometimes, it was necessary to keep hope alive. This time, however, she shrugged and opted to be vague. "I don't know. It could still be standin' and in lock down or it could have fallen early on," She pulled at a thread watching it unravel. "Guess if we get there and there's nothin' there then we turn around and head for Fort Bennin', not that there'd be much point since it'll probably be the same way" She added. "If there's nothin' at the CDC I'll split"

Silence followed the confession and she felt the body next to her tense, Daryl's eyes never straying from the stars above them. "Wonder what Merle's doin'?"

She had expected resistance like when she'd previously announced she wanted to leave but the change in subject made her assume he wanted to fill the silence between them. "Probably beatin' the shit out of a shuffler with a crowbar"

Daryl snorted a laugh. "Yeah, sounds like him" He shook his head lightly as they lapsed back into a comfortable silence and watched the stars above them.


	12. Chapter 12

Neon groaned scrubbing at her eyes with her palms and glared at the person standing outside the 'Am insistently tapping on the driver side window. "Better have a good fuckin' reason for makin' me cold, saighdeoir" She groused as she popped the door open a crack allowing cold air to rush inside.

"Gotta go catch some grub before everyone else wakes up"

She yawned rolling her eyes and stretched. "And you're tellin' me this, why?" She queried idly as she threw her blanket over Spud and watched with a grin as the dog snorted and grumbled at being rudely awoken from his dreams.

"You said you wanted a lesson," Daryl held up his crossbow. "Besides, don't want your marksmanship gettin' rusty"

She snorted, he was goading her and, damn him, it was working. "Ain't no way in hell my marksmanship is gettin' rusty anytime soon" She pushed the door open properly and grabbed her hoodie and jacket off the passenger's seat then slipped her boots on as she let Spud out.

"You want a lesson or not?" He queried in annoyance.

"All right," She put her hands up in surrender. "Don't get your knickers in a twist," She collected her guns from the dash and slid them into their holsters. "So where're we goin'?"

"That way," He motioned towards the open field dotted with a few groups of trees. "Saw some rabbit's hoppin' about out there"

"Bet Fiver's gonna be thrilled to be breakfast" She muttered rubbing her eyes again; she'd been more tired than expected and wanted to sleep for just a little bit longer, especially after nearly falling asleep on watch duty which had ended with Daryl trying to keep her awake by retelling stories and some very lame, but incredibly dirty, jokes his brother had no doubt repeatedly told him in his youth. She grunted as she walked into the back of Daryl as he stopped. "What?" She queried looking up at him and taking a step back.

"Been talkin' to you for the past ten minutes and you ain't said a word," He explained shifting the crossbow on his shoulder. "You off with the fuckin' fairies or somethin'?"

"Not quite" She mumbled rubbing at the ache in her neck.

He cocked his crossbow and loaded an arrow before hoisting it up and lined his sights up with a rabbit that scampered across the ground and stopped briefly to twitch its nose in the air. The arrow sailed through the air and hit its mark pinning the rabbit, by its head, to the ground. She watched him retrieve the animal and free the arrow from its head before reloading and swiftly taking down another. "Here" He reloaded and handed the crossbow to her. She cocked an eyebrow taking the weapon and looked it over for a moment before bringing it up to brace against her shoulder and took her stance lining up the sight with a squirrel as it scampered down one of the trees.

She swore as the bolt slammed into the tree inches above the squirrel scaring it into running away and lowered the weapon massaging her shoulder. "Son of a bitch has a totally different kick to my rifle," She shot him a glare. "Could have warned me it came from the front" She rolled her shoulder watching as he collected the arrow and carved a target into the trunk of the tree. "So what sage advice have you got for me, oh great grandmaster of the crossbow?" She queried with a broad grin as he took the crossbow back and reloaded it handing it back to her.

"Hit the centre"

She frowned softly before shrugging and readied the crossbow again, this time ready for the kick of it as she pulled the trigger. She huffed as the arrow embedded into the trunk of the tree a few inches above its intended target again and gave a roll of her eyes as Daryl reloaded and took a shot hitting it dead centre. "Show off, bet you're real chuffed," She muttered scowling lightly at the target before turning her gaze back on him. "It's not exactly teachin' if you're upstagin' me, love"

"Give me a minute, woman" He huffed retrieving both arrows from the target and reloaded handing the crossbow back to her. She adjusted her stance, and aim, and peered down the sights before she felt a pair of arms circle around her. Daryl's rough hands now over the tops of hers, and his eyes glanced down towards her. "What?"

"Like this, do you saighdeoir?" She grinned wetting her lips and peered down the sight trying to avoid thinking about the muscular arms encircling her.

He muttered something under his breath, that she didn't quite catch, and used his foot to nudge her's together a little more and shifted her grip on the crossbow before lowering her aim a bit. "You're aimin' too high, gotta aim lower"

"Bet that's what you tell all the pretty girls you take home," She murmured pulling the trigger and hissing a Gaelic curse as it hit left of centre. "So I can hit a fuckin' machine gunner from eight thousand one hundred and three fuckin' feet but I can't hit a shitty fuckin' tree trunk from twenty?" She shook her head lightly. "Maybe I should just stick to what I know"

"So you givin' up, then?"

"Hell no," She laughed. "But maybe we can do this again when we ain't on the move"

"Guess so"

She smiled handing him the crossbow back. "Thank you"

"For what?" He tried to cover up the brief pause he'd taken by hauling his crossbow higher onto his shoulder.

"For givin' me a lesson" She dug out a piece of beef jerky and took a bite before handing it to him and throwing another piece to Spud as they started walking back towards the camp.

"You think this shits ever gonna end?"

She glanced over at him out the corner of her eye and offered him a shrug. "It's got to end at some point, eventually the number of human's alive will outnumber the number of shufflers instead of it bein' the other way around" She pulled her knife free running it under her left thumbnail to clean it. "That bein' said, it could take years for that to happen, and we may all be dead by the time it arises," She said as she slid the knife away. "Plus we don't know what kind of shape the rest of the world is in"

"You think the rest of the world's infected?"

"Suppose it must be," She watched Spud race ahead of them before shrugging lightly. "I mean, America has plenty of allies, surely they would have sent aid by now and they haven't. So logic dictates, the rest of the world is just as bad if not worse" She halted and frowned softly as a heavy weight spread through her bones.

Daryl stopped a few paces ahead of her and turned. "What?"

She jerked her head up to look at him and shook it lightly. "Nothin'… well, nothin' big anyway," She started to walk again. "I wanted to be buried back home, next to my Ma and Da, when I died. Guess I'll never get that chance now," She shrugged lightly as she passed him and tried to shift the weighted feeling in her bones. "Wanted to take my kids back home too, one day"

"They were born here?"

She shook her head. "Back home, but we haven't really been back, last time was Da's funeral and we never got to spend much time there"

Silence fell over both of them as they both stewed over their conversation as they trekked back to the camp to find others up and milling about talking around the fire waiting on them.

"Here" Daryl handed the strong of rabbit and squirrel off to Carol and Jacqui as he passed them on the way to his pickup. Neon watched him go and shook her head lightly scratching Spud's good ear before taking a seat beside T-Dog and gladly accepted the mug of water he offered to her.


	13. Chapter 13

Bodies littered the ground between the group and the CDC building, and Neon noted it was a good five hundred or so feet to the front doors of the building. "This place looks like a fuckin' shuffler bomb or somethin' went off" She commented as she slipped from her car with Spud following directly behind her.

Lori nodded in agreement. "Why are there so many dead?"

She nodded towards the military barricade. "Military barricade, people probably wanted in and they would have opened up on them, wanted to protect whatever's in there at all costs" She surveyed the area with a keen eye. "Careful for whatever ones aren't dead" She motioned to the corpses with the barrel end of her rifle.

"They all look pretty dead to me"

"Yeah, and I've seen one that looked dead until some poor sod walked past it and it grabbed his ankle havin' a right ol' feast on it. Don't underestimate these things" She warned before starting towards the building, rifle in hand, as she scanned the area making sure nothing moved. She turned her back on the roller doors as Rick and Shane both began to try and lift them before banging on them and waiting for an answer.

"There's nobody here"

"Then why are these shutters down?"

She shifted snapping her fingers to get everyone's attention and motioned to the walker approaching them. "We've got a live one"

Daryl stepped forward shooting a bolt into its head before turning to Rick in anger. "You led us into a graveyard"

"He made a call"

"It was the wrong damn call"

She glanced over her shoulder listening as the group began to fight amongst themselves and took a step back towards the roller doors, slinking further into the shadow of the overhang, as she kept a look out for more walkers.

"Rick this is a dead end, do you hear me?"

She glanced back at Shane trying to pull Rick away from the doors. "Hate to break up the lover's spat but we need to bug out now before more of the dead dumb bastards wake up, we won't have nearly enough ammo to take them all down and we sure as shit won't have enough room to manoeuvre back to the convoy"

Lori nodded in agreement. "She's right; we can't stay here, not this close to the city after dark"

"Fort Benning, Rick. It's still an option"

"On what? No food, no fuel, it's a hundred miles"

"Oh it's a few more than that, love" Neon readied her rifle, stock pressed against her shoulder and cheek resting against the cheek rest, as she peered down the scope circling in on a walker.

"Hundred and twenty five," Glenn piped up. "I checked the map"

"Forget Fort Benning, we need answers tonight, _now_ "

She zoned out of a conversation briefly and gave a smooth pull on the trigger of her rifle, it kicked back into her shoulder and she ejected the spent cartridge repeating the actions, both walkers dropped with their heads in a thousand different pieces. "Make your fuckin' minds up or I'm gonna knock both of you out and drag you back to the goddamn convoy myself" She spat over her shoulder at the two men and refocused her scope before pulling the trigger and downing another walker; she shared a brief glance with Daryl as he nodded to the cars and she nodded in return readying herself to sprint back to the 'Am with Spud.

"The camera, it moved"

She hesitated and twisted to look up at the camera. "Probably motion operated" She scanned the area, the light was beginning to fade faster as Rick and Shane fought behind her. She raised her rifle again peering down the scope ready to take another shot, her finger twitching against the trigger as the roller door began to retract and bathe them in an artificial light. _Mary mother of Christ. There_ _ **is**_ _someone in there._ She lowered her rifle, stunned, and cautiously stepped towards the door with the others.

"Daryl, Neon, cover the back"

She nodded retreating backwards through the door with her rifle up before spinning on the balls of her feet when she heard the click of an assault rifle's safety. "Anybody infected?" A man called before peering out of a hallway.

Rick shook his head. "One of our group was… he didn't make it"

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

She narrowed her eyes standing side on to watch both the door and the man walking towards them.

"A chance"

"That's asking an awful lot these days," He eyed the group wearily. "You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission"

"Gladly" She muttered under her breath, Spud's hackles were still high as he watched the doors.

"If you've got stuff to bring in you do it now, once this door closes it stays closed"

Rick nodded turning to the group. "Lori, Carl, Carol, Sophia, Jacqui and Andrea stay here with Glenn and Dale, the rest of us can get everything we need"

Neon scratched Spud's head giving him the order to stay and wrapped her hand around her rifle before sprinting back to the 'Am to grab her pack from on top of everything before sprinting back to the building.

 

Neon watched as the thin needle pierced her skin and slid into her vein, the vile attached to it quickly filling with blood before Jenner slipped the needle out and pressed a small pad to the tiny wound. "Not squeamish?"

She shook her head. "Seen my fair share of blood, caused a fair share of it too"

"Military?"

She nodded. "Her royal majesty"

He nodded lightly before holding up another needle and vile. "Mind taking a sample from your dog, I don't like the way he's been eyeballing me"

She laughed and took the items. "He's really quite a big softy," She informed Jenner before kneeling in front of Spud. "It'll only take a minute, bud" She prepped the things and took a vile of blood as Jenner took Andrea's, she handed the vile back to Jenner as he led them back to the main workstations before heading down another hall to a cafeteria with a small kitchen and several tables.

"There's plenty of food in the cupboards, make yourself at home," Jenner motioned to the kitchen. "Just keep your energy use to a minimum"

Carol, Jacqui and Lori were the ones to quickly set into rifling through the cupboards as everyone else dumped their things in various spots around the room before finally sitting down to catch their breath for a moment of reprieve.

Neon stood taking half of the cutlery from Carol and helped her to set the table after Glenn and T-Dog pushed two of them together arranging seats around the outside. She glanced back at Daryl and arched an eyebrow as she inclined her head in question when she saw him silently watching her, rag in hand as he cleaned the blood off his crossbow bolts, his gaze darted away and she turned back to finish setting up, and it wasn't long before everything was ready, Jenner even letting them in on a secret stash of wine, which Dale was now happily pouring out for everyone.

"Come on, let the kid have a taste. You know, in Italy children have a little bit of wine with dinner, and in France"

She laughed softly. "It's Guinness in Ireland"

A laugh went around the table as they continued to drink and eat. "Well, when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some then" Lori stated with her hand over the top of Carl's glass.

"What's it going to hurt? Come on" Lori glanced around the table before finally caving and allowing Dale to pour some out for Carl.

Neon twisted in her seat motioning for the bottle Daryl had been drinking from and topped up her own glass before handing it back with a winning grin, she raised her glass to him and took a long drink before she turned back to the table as it fell silent as they all watched Carl take a drink form his glass, his face contorting in disgust. "Ew!" A laugh went around the table again at his reaction.

She looked shook her head looking down at Spud and stroked along his back as he wolfed down his own bowl that had been stocked with various bits and pieces that she'd been able to scrape together to make a pretty gnarly gourmet meal from.

"Well, just stick to soda pop there bud"

"Not you, Glenn" Daryl called over the table to Glenn who was looking at the bottle of wine in his hands.

"What?"

"Keep drinkin' little man, I wanna see how red your face can get," She turned when she felt a bottle nudge her shoulder and looked back at Daryl who was grinning slightly. "You too, Neon"

"Oh saighdeoir," She shook her head grimly. "You just committed a cardinal sin; don't you know it's never wise to challenge the Irish to a drinkin' game? Albeit, I'm not a full blooded Irish lass, but I'll tell you this," She leant closer to him with a roguish grin. "I can drink a damn sight more than you" Laughter erupted from the table again; it was good to feel safe and mostly happy for a change.

Everyone's eyes went to Rick as he tapped his glass and stood. "It seems we haven't thanked our host properly"

"He is more than just our host"

"Here, here"

Daryl topped up her glass and then raised the bottle. "Here's to you Doc, booyah!"

She raised her glass to Jenner with a smile and nod. "Sláinte"

"So when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here doc?" The joyous mood around the table dissipated quickly as Shane spoke. "All the others, doctors, that were supposed to be figuring out what happened; where are they?"

"Bloody hell" She murmured as she shook her head and rolled her eyes, it was something on everyone's minds but they were all too busy celebrating to give a toss about the answer then and there.

"Well, when things got bad a lot of people just left, went off to be with their families and when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted"

"Every last one?"

"No," Jenner confessed. "Many couldn't face walking out the door," His eyes were only on Shane as he spoke. "They _'opted out'_ "

"Jesus" She murmured softly.

"There was a rash of suicides, that was a bad time"

"You didn't leave, why?" Andrea queried.

Neon shifted in her seat, feet resting on another chair she'd pulled over from another table as she silent drank her glass of wine and listened to Jenner talk. "I just kept working, hoping to do some good"

There was a brief moment of silence as everything sunk in before Glenn moved. "Dude, you are such a buzzkill" He directed at Shane before settling in a chair, the table's atmosphere had changed drastically.

Neon twisted taking the bottle from Daryl's grip and took a long drink from it before topping up her glass and handed it back letting her eyes drift to rest on Spud as her mind wandered to thoughts of her children and her brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Lingo Translations**  
>  _Sláinte - Health._ An Irish toast.


	14. Chapter 14

"Most of the facility is powered down, including housing, so you'll have to make do here," Jenner's voice echoed slightly in the quiet hallway, the lights overhead popping on as they headed deeper. "The couches are comfortable but there're cots in storage if you like," He motioned to the end of the hallway. "There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy. Just don't plug in the video games, okay? Or anything that draws power," He addressed the entire group. "The same applies if you shower, go easy on the hot water" He turned away from them leaving them to pick their own rooms as he went back to the workstations.

Glenn turned around wide eyed. "Hot water?"

"That's what the man said" Both T-Dog and Glenn shared a grin as did everyone else; the prospect of hot water was almost a god send.

Neon looked along the hallways before back tracking a few doors and nudged one open dumping her things on the floor as she kicked the door shut again with her heel, she expected her fatigue would eventually catch up with her and the couch pushed against one wall looked comfortable enough to sprawl out across when she decided to go to eventually crash. She took a drink from the mostly full bottle of wine in her hand as she surveyed the room; there was an office desk and leather executive chair set up against one wall, a few fillings cabinets near the couch, and a door near the back that she assumed led to its own small bathroom. She collapsed onto the couch and unlaced her boots kicking them off into a pile as she let her eyes slip shut and head tilt back with a sigh; the bones in her body hurt and having a nice soak in hot water was something she really wanted to savour. She forced herself to stand and lazily shrugged out of her hoodie and denim jacket throwing them into a pile on the desk before yanking the grimy tank top over her head throwing it into the growing pile, occasionally stopping to throw back another mouthful of wine. Her eyes fell on the scarring, it wasn't just a scar it was a burn, an electrical burn, that marred the left side of her belly. Her fingers touched it then traced the edges as she leant back against the desk before snatching up the bottle of wine again and took a long swig as she willed the feeling of disgust to disappear and the memories fighting to come to the surface to stay buried in the darkest recesses of her mind.

The sounds of the door opening made her jerk her head up and she couldn't help but grin softly as she witnessed Daryl's face flush as soon as he saw her. "Anyone ever tell you, you're cute when you blush?" She queried, eyes straying to the unopened wine bottle in his hands. "Seems as if great minds think alike, though we're goin' to need more that that if I'm your drinkin' buddy tonight," She held up her own bottle giving it a small shake. "I'm halfway through mine already"

His looked down at the bottle, passing it back and forth from hand to hand. "We'll raid the stash later" She gave a soft hum of agreement and motioned to the couch in an invitation to sit as she placed her guns on the desk and then pulled her knife free from its sheath placing it down next to her guns. "Knife any good?"

She twisted glancing back at Daryl as he spoke, his eyes were dancing everywhere but her, and she picked up the knife tossing it up catching it by the tip. "It's a Fairbairn-Sykes fightin' knife, military issue," She explained and held it out to him watching as it took it and began to inspect it. "It's served me well" She took the knife back and leant back against the desk again as she turned it over in her hands. "Can you do me a favour?"

"Depends what it is"

"Look at me," She silently placed the knife back down. "All I want you to do is look at me" Silence enveloped the room. "… _Please_ …" Her knuckles bleached white as she gripped the edge of the desk, she couldn't quite understand it in her own head but part of her needed him, someone, _anyone_ , to look at her, to look at the tattoos and the scars, to see past them and look at _her_ and see she was still human; the disgust she had felt when she saw the electrical burn had dislodged some broken piece within her, as it sometimes did, but this time she didn't have her brother there to hug her and remind her she was still standing.

"Neon…"

She snapped from her reverie and physically jerked at the sound of his voice. "Sorry, I just…" She clenched her hands harder around the desk and hoped to all hell he hadn't seen them start shaking. "Forget it," She shook her head and shoved herself away from the desk before collapsing beside him on the couch. "Feels good to just sit down" She changed the subject and took another long swig from her bottle grimacing slightly as it went down sour. She cast her eyes in Daryl's direction before taking another swig of wine and turning to throw her legs over the tops of his, feet now dangling on the edge of the couch.

His eyes met hers, curiosity mixing with distrust before he glanced away. "So how many you got?" He motioned to her tattoos as he finally looked back at her again.

"Eh… give me a minute," She tried to do a quick tally in her head. "Ten or so, I think"

"Got any stories to go with them?"

"Plenty, but what do _I_ get in return?" She queried leaning in towards him slightly.

He shrugged. "What do you want?"

She wet her lips as so many things sprang to mind. "There are many things I _want_ and many things I can't _have_ "

He arched an eyebrow in question before snatching the bottle from her hands and taking a long swig before handing it back. "So what've I gotta do to see your ink?"

She downed another few mouthfuls of wine before shaking her head. "Details later," She waved her hand dismissively, her head was starting to get the foggy, woolly, sort of feeling that came when she started to get drunk. "Where to start? Where to start?" She murmured looking down the ink stretching across her skin and turned her lower arms over, inked into her left wrist was _'Mac_ _Tíre_ _'_. "Mac Tíre is Irish for wolf; Da's nickname for me," She explained and then ran her fingers over the black and white flowers inked into right side of her abdomen. "The white one's a cemetery Iris, the other is a black Iris," She moved her fingers to the two names along her ribs just under her left breast; ' _Connor'_ and ' _Amelia'_ in a Calligraphic typeface. "I'm pretty sure those speak for themselves," She murmured before turning so he could see her left shoulder, tattooed there were an English and an Irish flag, above them a snarling hellhound. "Yet again, pretty obvious. I got them done after I finished boot camp, though Cerby came later and has got, kind of, a long story attached to him," She explained and swung her legs off him before turning her back to him so he could see the rest of her tattoos. "The flowers on the left are… shit… I don't remember their proper name but they're usually known as bleeding hearts, and the hound knot is a Celtic thing," She explaining taking another drink from the bottle of wine. "They typically represent heroism aspects. You know, courage, persistence, virility and all that," She felt the rough pads of his fingers trace the hound knot inked into her right shoulder and looked down catching sight of the Celtic cross then family crest tattooed on her right forearm and smiled sadly as she traced it, Quinn bore the matching counterpart of the crest. "Oh… and I've got a set of six shooters on my hip, too" His fingers continued to trace the Celtic pattern of the hounds before stalling on the shrapnel scarring to the right of her spine.

"Got a story?"

"…Every scar does" She unconsciously touched the electrical burn on her belly and told herself she had no intentions on opening old wounds; she'd lost one of her closest friends in the attack on their base camp that had given her the shrapnel scarring, she'd carried his casket and lowered him into the ground as his mother wailed and begged for her son to come back.

She turned to face Daryl again and caught his hand before he could pull it away, a smile curling at the edges of her lips as she held it for a moment and then placed her palm against his comparing their sizes. His were a lot like hers; knuckles scarred from fighting, fingertips tough and calloused from manual labour, and nails chipped and dirty from lack of care, at least what was left of hers were, she was missing two on one hand and three on the other, another reminder of what had happened to her overseas . She looked up to find him also comparing their hands and wet her lips as she leant in, using her free hand to tip his face towards her, and pressed her lips to his. She could feel his muscles twitch and tense under her fingers and quickly pulled away when he didn't respond, she stood and rubbed at the back of her neck unable to look directly at him. "I-uh-I think I'm goin' to catch that shower," She waved her hand in the direction of the bathroom and retreated a step before pausing and twisting to look at him; she wanted nothing more than to do it again, to push her luck and see if he would let her, instead she decided to retreat, let him make his own decision. She cleared her throat and tipped her head in the direction of the bathroom. "You can join me if you want" She left it at that, the ball firmly in his court, and slipped into the bathroom, immediately collapsing against the sink to stare at her reflection. _Nice going._ She chided herself and heard the door in the main room shut silently, her sigh echoed in the bathroom as she began to wonder just how much damage she'd done and if she could play it off as having too much to drink in the morning. She pulled away from the sink and started the shower before stripping the remainder of her clothing and stepping into the warm spray.

Neon groaned softly, the hot water on her skin was pure ecstasy as she rubbed her aching muscles, the exhaustion from running and gunning was finally beginning to catch up to her, the fatigue in her muscles left hard knots under the skin that would take hours to get rid of. She stood in the spray savouring it as she let it wash over her and soak into her weary muscles and bones. She felt a light draft sweep over the room and then heard the rustle of clothing, surprised for a moment; she'd assumed Daryl had left and she'd be running damage control in the morning. She didn't resist the arms that snaked around her waist and instead leant back against Daryl's chest accepting the cautious touches he offered, if either of them could die the next day or six days from then, then why the hell not? She wasn't about to push him away.

"So you weren't lyin' then" His fingers smoothed over the six shooters etched in an X on her right hip before touching the top of the scar that ran down the length of her leg.

"Did you really doubt me?" She countered as she scrubbed shower gel over her skin leaving it to sink in through her skin into her muscles and aching bones. She moaned softly leaning back against him as he ran his fingers over the skin of her hips, the dirty suds washing away down the drain as he moved his hands up the flat expanse of her torso and ribs to cup her breasts, his face burying into her neck as he squeezed them. She turned in his grip to face him and placed a hungry kiss to his lips, her chipped nails digging into the tops of his shoulders before she circled her arms around his neck drawing him flush against her to kiss his lips again. "I'm not one for bein' teased, love. Either _fuck me_ like it's our last night alive or get out" She growled lowly scraping her teeth down the side of his neck nipping at the hollow of his throat before grunting and taking a sharp hiss of air between her teeth as her back hit the cold tiles of the wall, a slightly feral and almost possessive look in Daryl's eyes as he bit down on the crook of her neck, a harsh gasp echoing in her throat and nails digging into his skin as he sucked harshly on the skin before letting go. _That's going to leave a pretty looking bruise_. His nails scored down her sides digging into the skin on the backs of her thighs tugging them up, one hand under her ass supporting her, the other pressed against the wall as she curled her legs around his waist.

A strangled moan choked in her throat as her head fell back against the wall with a dull thud as he thrust his cock into her, connecting them at the hips. "Fuck" She hissed out the word between her gritted teeth savouring the feeling of him inside her.

"Shit, you're tight" Daryl groaned against her shoulder, hot shallow panting breaths fanning across her skin.

Her face flushed slightly. "It's been a while" If she was going to be honest, she hadn't had a proper romp since she'd been with Clayton, but she didn't really want to think about that right now. She groaned threading her fingers through his messy wet strands of hair as he drew out slowly, the movement grating on her already sensitive nerves. _Been to fucking long, far to fucking long._ She choked back a scream as he thrust into her again, not knowing how thick or thin the walls were, the last thing she wanted was someone to come running in and disturb them.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" He growled giving a particular hard thrust. "Feels good havin' a dick in you"

She moaned squeezing her eyes shut, the pleasure rolling through her had her guts in knots, a familiar feeling tightening in the pit of her stomach, coiling tight like a spring. "Fuck yes" She panted uncaring of the pain in her hips as they were crushed against the wall with each thrust, if she couldn't walk for a few days then so be it, she could just sleep it off anyway.

"Shit," Daryl hissed between his teeth, breath catching in his throat as he alternated between hard thrusts and shallow rocking ones. "Fuck this feels good"

A fleeting thought passed through her mind until a shudder rippled through her body as a sharp bite of pain blossomed out from the section of flesh he was sucking on. The centre of her back arched off the wall and she let out a moan into his ear as her grip tightened through his hair. "Harder," She groaned. "Come on, _Daryl_ ," She growled lowly, a smirk winding its way to her lips as she goaded him. "Make me _feel_ this"

He growled darkly, hips thrusting hard against hers as her words seemed to snap the last of his self-control, and she gasped, nails digging into his shoulders as the spring coiled in her stomach finally snapped. She buried her face into his neck, lips sealing on the crook of his neck as a strangled cry bubbled up her throat, pleasure radiating through her from her release. "Cum for me, Neon," His panting whisper met her ear as he kissed its shell. "Cum for me" She wasn't sure if he even knew the words he'd spoke and didn't have time to contemplate it as he continued to thrust into her again, a choked moan muffled by her own shoulder as his body tensed and he held her tight against him as he finally came.

She exhaled panting breaths and rested her forehead against his looking up through her eyelashes at his. "You know, this won't be a _'one time thing'_ , right? Not after a performance like that"

He shrugged still holding her against the wall. "What do I care?" His lips touched the side of her neck in a lazy kiss, his body still twitching from his recent high. "You're a good fuck"

"So are you, Daryl" She landed on shaky legs as he let her down, the water blistered its way across her back warming the patches of skin that had been pressed against the tiles. A smirk curled at the corner of her lips and she pulled him under the warm spray of the shower to help him clean up.


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning Neon woke with a groan, her mouth as dry as a desert and body aching something wonderful. She felt another body pressed against her back, this body as equally naked as her own, their warmth radiating through her skin and into the muscle and bone underneath. She shifted making a move to get up and dressed until Daryl's grip tightened around her waist. "Stay here" He mumbled nuzzling his nose into the back of her neck, one hand hooked firmly around her waist, the other pinned under his head serving as a pillow on the hard carpeted flooring, making her wonder if he was even aware of what he was saying or if it was a half awake thought.

"Love too, saighdeoir, but the floors doin' my bones in, gotta get up" She chuckled as he grumbled in response and turned over allowing her to get up, use the bathroom, and get dressed. She watched him sleeping on the floor for a moment before poking his shoulder with her toes as she leant back against the desk buckling her belt. "Come on, there's gotta be somethin' goin' for breakfast"

He swiped half-heartedly at her foot. "Fuck off"

"What if I tempt you with the promise of more wine and sex?" She grinned surveying the dark red marks marring his shoulders, neck, and chest. "That is unless, of course, you didn't enjoy last night"

He cracked his eyes open glaring at her and slowly sat up running a hand through his hair straightening it out with one quick movement. "You drive a hard bargain, Neon"

She smiled lopsidedly as she fluffed his hair earning another glare as he tried to find his clothing. "Come on, before someone decides to come wake us up and they figure out you spent the night here"

Daryl snorted slinging his shirt on. "Like they ain't gonna see the hickey on your neck"

She touched the tender spot on her neck and grinned roguishly. "Same goes for you, you look like you got attacked by a vampire," She laughed as she grabbed a bottle of pain killers and exited the room with Spud in tow, and headed for the cafeteria. "Hey!" She called after the dog as he raced off down the hall. "Where the hell're you goin', Spud?" She watched him disappear and sighed shrugging lightly as she pushed open the cafeteria door. She found Jenner sitting at one of the tables and gave him a nod as she passed. "Mornin'" She grabbed a glass and began to fill it with water before drinking it down and refilling it, doing it once more before sighing mutely.

"Morning," He twisted in his chair to look at her. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," She brought her glass over to the table and took a seat across from him. "I don't usually drink red wine, it gives me Sahara mouth the next mornin'" She looked up as T-Dog, Jacqui, Glenn and Dale entered the room soon followed by Daryl, who looked far from impressed at being awake, and finally Lori, Carl, Carol, Sophia and Andrea. She stretched her back leaning over her glass of water before hearing the click of claws on the lino floor and glanced over at Spud as he came waltzing in, stumpy tail wagging enthusiastically. Her eyes shifted to Daryl as he took a seat at the table and threw him a brief grin and a wink.

"Oh my god!" Lori's voice echoed in the quiet cafeteria drawing her attention back to the conversation at the table. "Neon, what happened to your neck?"

She fingered the love bites Daryl had left before shrugging nonchalantly. "Nothin'"

"That doesn't look like noth– oh my god" Lori's eyes went from her to Daryl and then back several times as she caught sight of the markings on Daryl's throat.

Neon's grin only broadened at the reaction. "Hey, just 'cause it's a goddamn shufflerfest, pandemic, whatever, out there doesn't mean I have to turn celibate. I've got fuckin' needs too, you know"

"What does celibate mean?"

Everyone's eyes landed on Sophia as she broke the silence that had fallen with her question. "It doesn't matter honey, just eat your eggs" Carol motioned to the plate in front of her daughter in an attempt to sway her from the conversation at hand.

Neon looked over at Rick as he entered the room followed shortly by Shane, the topic of discussion moving off her neck and onto Rick's hangover. She sipped at her glass of water and thanked Dale as he placed a plate down in front of her.

"Don't ever, ever, ever let me drink again"

She chuckled as Glenn sat down at the table with his head in his hands and fished out a bottle of pills from her pocket rolling them across the table to him. "That should help with that overall pounding in our skull" She stated swirling her glass of water before downing it.

He nodded meekly opening the bottle and downed a few with his water before handing it back to her. "Thanks, Neon" He groaned lowly hiding his head again away from the bright artificial lights above them.

"I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing–"

"But you will anyway" Jenner murmured cutting Dale off as he went to refill his coffee cup.

"We didn't come here for the eggs" Andrea cut in, twisting in her seat to see him. Jenner stood for a moment before beckoning them to follow him to the main workstations.

 

"Scan to the second event," Neon watched the screen as the computer scanned forward to another time marker in the MRI scan on the brain on the screen in front of them. "The resurrection times vary wildly, we had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes, the longest we heard of was eight hours," Jenner motioned to the screen. "In the case of this patient it was two hours, one minutes and seven seconds"

She frowned softly moving her eyes from the screen to Jenner, there was something off about the way he recounted the time to them, like it had been someone he knew, someone close to him. She moved her eyes back to the screen watching as the brain began to shift and change, pulses beginning to fire through it again. "So, just what the hell does this thing do?" She queried. "Restart the brain?"

Jenner moved his eyes from the screen to her. "Not quite, it only restarts the brainstem; basically it gets them up and moving"

"So they're not alive?"

"You tell me," She looked up at the MRI scan again, it looked nothing like before, nothing like its previous state; it was dark, mostly blacked out now. _That's dead, nothing like before. Before the_ _ **entire**_ _brain was lit up and functioning, now it's just a single part of it._ She shook her head. "The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the _human_ part, that doesn't come back, the _you_ part" Jenner's eyes drifted back to the screen. "It's just a lifeless shell"

"Oh god," Andrea gasped rocking back on her heels. "What was that?"

"Forty five" Neon drew her gaze away from the screen and levelled it with Jenner, his gaze was turned away from the screen, unable to look at the death that was replayed. _What the hell isn't he telling us?_

"Vi, power down the main screen and workstations" The computer intelligence answered with an affirmation and began to turn everything in the room off.

"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea queried.

"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal…" Neon zoned briefly from the conversation as she wondered just _who_ subject 19 had been to Jenner.

"Somebody must know something; somebody, somewhere"

"What about other facilities?" She interjected addressing Jenner. "I'll take a stab and say this is a worldwide even, not a local one, otherwise he'd have backup from allied countries. So there must be other places like this one in the world still operatin'"

"There may be some, people like me" Jenner confessed.

"But you don't know, how can you not know?" Andrea looked over at him expecting an answer.

"Power grids," Neon answered when there was silence and received a nod from Jenner. "This place is runnin' off a backup source 'cause there ain't been shit for power for about a fuckin' month and a half now, when all this started the grids went down due to no maintenance, and those dumb dead bastards walkin' into the transformers didn't help"

Jenner nodded. "I've been in the dark for almost a month"

"So it's not just here, there's nothing left anywhere? Nothing?" Jenner was silent unable to come up with a suitable answer for Andrea.

"Man, I'ma get shitface drunk… again"

"I'm with you there, brother" She murmured in response to Daryl as she scrubbed her palms over her eyes and thought about her children.

"Doctor Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question but," Dale pointed to the clock on the wall that was steadily ticking down. "That clock, it's counting down, what happens at zero?"

"The basement generators, they run out of fuel" Jenner's answer was short before he turned away and walked off ignoring the questions Rick shouted after him.

Neon sighed softly and looked down at Spud scratching his half ear before looking over at Daryl as Rick took Shane, T-Dog and Glenn to find the basement. "Still gettin' pissed?" He nodded heading for the hall leading to the rooms and she followed after him with Spud tagging along beside her.


	16. Chapter 16

Neon leant against the doorframe as everyone began to poke their heads out of their rooms, the air had shut off minutes before and the lights in many of the rooms had turned off completely. She took a swig of the bottle in her hands and frowned softly peering into it finding it now empty. "What's goin' on? Why's everythin' turnin' off?" Daryl asked swinging lazily on the doorframe before Jenner snatched the half empty bottle out of his hand.

"Energy use is being prioritized"

"Air isn't a priority? And the lights?"

Jenner shook his head taking a drink from the bottle. "It's not up to me; zone five is shutting itself down"

" _'Shuttin' itself down'_? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" She queried with a snap only to be ignored.

"Hey man, she's talkin' to you, what do you mean it's shuttin' itself down? How can a buildin' do anything?"

"You'd be surprised" She frowned at Jenner's words, something was unsettling about them, and they all followed him to the workstations. Jenner stopped to hand the bottle back to Daryl, who snatched it spilling half its contents. "It was the French," He directed his words to Andrea. "They were the last ones to hold out, as far as I know," He added. "While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs 'till the end," His eyes shifted away from them as they filled with failure. "They thought they were close to a solution.

"And what happened to them?"

"Same thing that's happening here," He pointed towards her. "You pointed it out yourself, no power grid. The entire world is run off fossil fuels"

Shane started forward only to be grabbed back by Rick who was trying to calm him before turning to the group. "Everyone grab your things, we're getting out of here, now"

She turned heading back towards the hallway they'd come from, Spud at her heels, before siren's began to blare around them and she swore jumping back a step as the doorway sealed closing off the hall. A growl rumbled lowly in her chest and she turned glaring at Jenner, he was blocking her exit, her only way to get out, and find her family. As soon as the door had begun to descend he had signed his death warrant, anyone that stood between her and her children automatically had a target painted squarely between their eyes.

It only took a few seconds before Daryl was running at Jenner and Rick was yelling at Shane to grab him. "Jenner, open that door now"

"There's no point, everything topside is locked down, the emergency exits are sealed"

A growl rumbled in Neon's chest, her vision blurring with unfiltered rage, as she started towards Jenner and drew her stealth hunter from the back of her jeans. She pushed Rick aside and laid the barrel of her gun against Jenner's temple pulling back the hammer until it clicked into place, the room immediately falling silent. "You let us out of here _now_ or I blow your fuckin' brain out the side of your skull" She snarled.

"…I can't"

She could feel everyone's eyes on her and heard the click of another hammer before feeling Rick's Python dig into her own skull. "Put the gun down, Neon"

"Last person that pulled a gun on me wound up face down in a pool of his own goddamn blood and teeth, you'd best be prepared to use that, Rick, 'cause I ain't lowerin' my gun," She spoke calmly with an underlying dangerous edge as she glared down at Jenner. "Let us out, I don't give a shit how you do it but you're goin' to do it"

"No, I won't– I can't, the computer controls everything. It-it's better this way anyway"

"Why? What happens in twenty eight minutes?" Her jaw twitched as he refused to answer the question, the Python's barrel still resting against her head made her think twice about pistol whipping him for an answer so instead she addressed the computers virtual intelligence. "Vi, what happens when the timer runs out?"

"State wide decontamination will occur"

A cold sickly feeling swept through her body making her spine straighten a bit further, she had her suspicions but needed clarification. "Clarify" She ordered.

"H.I.T's will be deployed throughout the entire building"

Every muscle in her body went rigid as a cold sweat pricked at her skin. "You bastard" She wanted to lunge at the doctor and beat him senseless but she was acutely aware of the muzzle still resting against her head. "You fuckin' bastard, prick of a cunt" She swore, a few Gaelic curses slipping in here and there.

"What?" The muzzle wavered and fell away from her temple. "What are H.I.T's?"

"They're a weapon, bombs basically" She explained. "High impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives, it sets the air on fire," She wanted to kill Jenner, now more than ever. "The pressure wave from a buildin' of this size would kill us before our bodies even began to burn, the blast would turn our insides to soup" She glared down at Jenner, as much as she wanted to wring his neck she knew they'd need him to get out. "You can't just choose for us, I don't want to _'opt out'_ , as you so eloquently put it, I've still got a reason to live, a reason to keep myself alive, a reason to keep goin' no matter what's thrown at me, and I _will_ find a fuckin' way out of this goddamn death trap if it's the goddamn thing I do" She spoke as calmly as she could. "You can't just choose for us, we want a chance to try and survive out there"

"Do you honestly think anyone is still alive out there?" Jenner had a look of desperation mixed with pity in his eyes.

"Aye, I do. My brother, my _family_ , is still out there, and until I find them I won't give up, I won't lay down like some mongrel runt and take it. I will fight, I will kill, I will fuckin' _destroy_ anythin' or any _one_ that gets between me and them; livin', dead or otherwise. _Nothin'_ stands between me and them"

"What makes you think they're even still alive anymore?"

"Because I can feel it, I know it in my head and in my heart, that they're still out there waitin' for me to find them," It was a rare shred of hope that she clung to, truthfully she had no idea if Quinn or either of her children were still alive but she was more than willing to kill everyone that stood between her and finding out the truth. "You've got to give us that chance, the chance to go on, to do what the human race does best when it's been knocked down. We rebuild, we rebuild ten times greater than were ever were, we rebuild ten times stronger than before"

"I-I can't," Jenner shook his head trying to reconfirm his resolve. "If I could I would, but I-I can't"

That was it, the switch was flipped, he had officially signed his own death warrant in her eyes. "Then you leave me no choice" There was a deafening heartbeat in her ears before something collided with her shoulders and her aim was thrown off, the bullet she'd fired ricocheted off the floor and into one of the computers frying it instantly. She swore and turned as quick as a feral animal grabbing Rick's hand and twisting it behind his back as her foot connected with the back of his knee and she forced him, face first, onto the top of one of the workstation consoles; she held his hand twisted high in the centre of his back, weight pressed against him and elbow digging into his neck as she pressed her gun to the back of his head. "Stupid Yankee prick," She snarled and swore before feeling a tremble run though him, and fought to regain control over her anger to stop herself doing something else driven by it. "The next time you fuckin' pull a stunt like that is the last time" She pushed herself away from him and walked away delivering a hefty kick to one of the workstations as she went.

 

Neon stood away from everyone else, watching silently as Shane and Daryl attacked the door with all their might before coming back to say they couldn't make a dent. She'd long since cooled off and had begun searching for any other way to get out of the death trap they'd been corralled into.

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher"

"Well your head ain't!" Daryl snarled hauling the axe over his shoulder ready to take a swing at Jenner before Dale and Rick grabbed him forcing him back.

She pushed herself off the workstation and walked towards the door before resting a hand against it, she smoothed her thumb over the scratches the axes had made and looked down at Spud as he whined softly and stood placing his paws on the door with a cock of his head. She looked back at the door and the smear of fresh bright red across from it; the pad of her thumb had apparently caught the jagged edge of one of the deeper scratches and snagged the skin.

"Careful, Neon"

She looked over at Daryl and then slowly looked back at the door. "My babies are out there, they're out there in this hell, and I'm goin' to die in here, in this god forsaken spitfuck of a buildin' surrounded by people I don't even fuckin' know," She shook her head lowering it as she pressed her palm flat against the door before the anger ignited in her veins and she grabbed the axe from his hands pushing him back out of her way before swinging hard at the door. The crack of metal meeting resistance resounded through the room again, and again, and again, with each strike she made against the door. "I'm not dyin' in this fuckin' shithole," Another swing at the door. "Not while my babies are out there," Another swing. "Not while my brother is out there" She snarled swinging harder at the door ignoring the flare of pain through her back and between her shoulders, she ignored the sting of sweat in the rug burns on her forearms and back, ignored the room and its inhabitants, until she went to throw another swing and met resistance, she turned glaring at the person holding the handle of the axe. "Let go of the fuckin' axe, Dixon"

"Cool it, Neon. You'll hurt yourself," He slid his hand along the handle to where her blood from her cut had smeared across it. "Give" He gave a tug on the axe waiting until she released her grip and nudged her out of the way to continue her fruitless attack on the door.

She turned away and leant against the metal railing of the ramp before stretching out her spine and rolling her shoulders as a heavy sigh emitted from deep in her chest; she wanted to yell, she wanted to scream, she wanted to curse out the world and whatever dozy fuck had come up with the disease in the first place. _If I_ _ **ever**_ _meet the fucker that started all this shit, I'll tear their goddamn throat out with my own two hands._ She glanced up as the rhythmic attack on the door ceased and watched it begin to lift. "Come on" She sprinted along the hall towards the room they'd been using and hastily grabbed her things stuffing them into her pack before giving a whistle to Spud and headed back into the hallway following Glenn and Daryl to the main entrance.

"Shit!" She swore skidding to a halt nearly slamming into the doors and delivered a hard kick to them before spinning on her heel looking for another escape route. "There's got to be another fuckin' way out," She stepped away from the doors looking around the entrance for any other way out as Shane and Daryl began to attack another pane of glass. "If it's anythin' like that other door it'll be resistant to almost everythin'" She grabbed Spud by the collar hauling him back out of the way as Shane fired at the pane of glass, the shotgun spray only causing minute spider web fractures around each piece of buckshot. "Where's the goddamn plastique when you need it?" She turned as Carol stepped up to Rick, in her hands a M67 grenade, their eyes met and she nodded calling Spud to her as she ducked behind the stairwell, leading to the upper floor, with Daryl. His hand tightened around her wrists as she shielded Spud as the blast of the grenade shattered the glass panels above them showering them in tiny crystal like fragments.

"Come on" He tugged her up and towards the shattered window.

She stumbled, ears still ringing slightly from the blast as she hauled Spud up, so he wouldn't cut his feet on the glass and lowered him as soon as they were clear, the dog raced forward launching himself at a walker as it turned towards them and dragged it down savaging it as she drew her gun and fired at another walker before calling for Spud and sprinting towards her 'Am. She yanked the door open letting Spud jump in before she slid in and looked towards the watch sitting on the dash, she exhaled grabbing Spud and getting as low as possible as she heard the shouts from others. Her breath hitched in her throat as the TransAm rocked from the pressure wave, a crack sounding through the interior as the passengers rear window cracked. She stayed still for a moment, hands shaky with adrenaline and her mind briefly drew her back to a similar event from her military days; she could smell the smoke from the recent mortar hit, hear the pained screams of the wounded that had been hit in the attack, she could feel the wet damp blood on her hands as she tried to stem a wound and feel it roll down her spine from her own injuries, and she hear the echo of Frankie's last raspy breath in her ear as he succumbed to his injuries. It took a combination of rapid blinking, pinching herself, and Spud's cold wet nose on her cheek to draw her out of the flashback, once her breathing had regulated somewhat she finally sat up and placed the keys in the ignition, her body moving into autopilot as she started the engine and gripped the wheel tightly, knuckles bleaching white, before she tried to force herself to relax and continued to remind herself that what had happened had been years ago and wasn't in her present. She drew the photo of her children out from its place down her shirt and unfolded it before looking down at it, and sat silently for a moment before kissing it. "I need to find you" Her whisper echoed in the car and she looked over at Spud as he whined and licked at her face, she hadn't noticed until he looked out the window at the RV but tears were beginning to blur her vision. As the RV in front of her began to pull away she swiped at the tears and took another shaky breath before throwing the 'Am into gear and following after it.


	17. Chapter 17

Neon stretched as she exited her car and groaned softly rolling her shoulders before giving a jerk of a nod to Carol and T-Dog as they passed by her, they cast her a side on glance and she sighed mutely, the group was uneasy around her now, they were scared and it was probably over how she'd reacted at the CDC. She leant against the front fender and lit a cigarette as Spud raced off to pee up against a tree, she took in a deep drag from her cigarette and held it for a few seconds before slowly exhaling as she checked both guns to make sure they were reloaded before she tucked them away again, she knew she'd have some serious damage control to run, but then again, maybe it was for the best, she'd already contemplated about just breaking off from them, she'd even fought the urge to break away from the convoy on the ride from the CDC, if she had been sure they wouldn't come after her she would have. "What makes you think they'll take in strangers?" Her eyes fell on Andrea as she posed the question walking cautiously behind Daryl and Rick.

"Well the guns we gave 'em, they'll probably throw us a party" Daryl stated pushing forward as Neon pushed herself off the fender moving to catch up with them. "Good call," He moved further ahead constantly looking for a threat. "For once" He threw the remark over his shoulder moving to the head of the group, obviously still sour at Rick over the whole near death explosion at the CDC.

She watched Spud's hackles go up as the neared an old busted out window in a seemingly abandoned foundation, his growls coming out soft and low as his and body dropped lower into a more threatening attack pose. "Guard" The command was low as she scratched his half hear and slipped through the missing window watching as he jumped through after her and immediately lowered his head to the ground sniffing about for a moment before a deeper much more feral growl slipped through his barred teeth. She unholstered her gun holding it at the ready, the calmness of the place had settled an ill feeling in her bones, it was her soldiers intuition, one that told her she was about to walk into something dangerous. "Somethin's dodgy here"

"Where're the lookouts?" Glenn queried from her left, his shotgun hanging limp in his hands as he scouted the immediate vicinity.

Her snapped her fingers towards Spud and motioned to her side, an order for him to stick close, as she moved silently around one wall before stopping to listen; she could hear the sounds of tearing and chewing, and glanced over at Daryl giving a shake of her head as they moved silently towards another courtyard. She freed her knife and held it at the ready, along with her gun, before motioning to Lori and Carol to turn their children away and keep them quiet. She looked over at Rick and gave a jerk of her head towards the walkers feasting on carcasses, there were too many of them to get in close and not get bit or injured. She aimed, lining up the barrel of her stealth hunter with one of the walkers heads, and fired, repeating the processes for several others as Spud stood on guard protecting Lori, Carl, Andrea, Carol and Sophia.

She took a breath as the last walker fell and reloaded her gun before looking over at Rick, she tilted her head towards the building as she snapped the chamber back into place. "Spud and I will take point, give us a ten count" She didn't bother to wait for his answer as she called Spud to her and gave the dog the order to seek as they slipped through the doors sitting slightly ajar.

She stepped through with her gun at the ready and inched around the various pieces of broken equipment and shelving being as careful as she could not to snag herself on anything loose. Spud travelled a few steps ahead of her weaving effortlessly thought the discarded items; she stopped as soon as he did and watched the dog lower himself giving a low rumble of a growl that almost sounded like distant thunder. She crouched behind an overturned desk and pressed her back against it before glancing up over the top of it to spy a walker standing near motionless, she moved to the left and around the corner of the desk before weaving low through the metal shelving units to come up behind it and quickly grabbed it around the neck from behind and jammed her knife up into the base of its skull. She grimaced at the grating of the well lodged blade before giving a sharp tug finally freeing it, her hands now coated in decomposing flesh and blood. She was careful and quiet as she laid the walker down on the ground and stepped over it giving Spud a low whistle so he followed on.

She moved through the rest of the room quickly and without a sound before coming upon another set of doors, she pressed her back against the cold brickwork of the wall before peering through the broken double doors into a small courtyard, another half-eaten corpse lay out on the ground but other than that there was no movement. She ventured into the courtyard with her gun drawn and stopped for a second holding her breath as she spotted an open door leading into another building. She spun on the balls of her feet at a noise that sounded behind her and immediately dropped her barrel as soon as Rick stepped into view; she motioned towards the open doors and started towards them pressing her back against one for a second to listen before slipping inside followed closely by Rick and Daryl.

They fanned out covering and clearing each room systematically as the others filed in behind them, a whimper and soft cry caught Neon's attention and she glanced back to see Sophia turning away from one of the rooms to clutch at her mother as she began to cry.

"Put a sock in it" She heard Daryl's harsh voice as he snapped at the girl before her mother defended her.

"Leave her alone"

Her jaw twitched in annoyance, they had no idea what was left in the building and fighting with each other would only draw out whatever was in there, if there was anything left in there.

"Shut her up or I will"

"Back the hell off, and I mean now"

"Both of you belt up" She snarled over her shoulder sending both Daryl and Lori a threatening glare, which silenced them completely, before clearing another room.

"Are we staying or going?" Lori addressed her question to Rick.

"We don't have the fuel"

"We hunker down for the night," Shane interjected. "Rick; you, me, Neon and Daryl will sweep the building, make sure we're alone"

Rick gave a nod and turned to the rest of the group. "The rest of you barricade those doors"

Neon turned towards a set of double doors and motioned towards them before wrapping a hand around one handle and gave Shane a silent one, two, three count before they wrenched the doors open allowing Rick and Daryl to take point and sweep the room. They moved carefully across the room, Spud staying silent at her side as they checked each body. Neon knelt beside the corpse of one of the older men and checked him over before shifting his clothing looking for the bite mark that had warranted the bullet to the brain; she frowned softly when she couldn't find it and picked up an arm to get a better look at it, there was nothing, no bites, not even any scratches. _What the hell? Did they get fed up of looking after the old folks and just end them all or what?_ The arm in her hand was cold, no residual heat emitting from it at all. "These bodies are cold, this had to have happened at least a day or two ago" She commented as she stood and caught Daryl's eye as he looked up from checking another body, he wore the same expression she did; something just wasn't adding up with the scene before them.

"We need to clear the upper floor as well"

She turned her attention to Rick and nodded following after him and Shane as they headed towards the small stairwell before beginning to cover and clear each room on the upper left. As they cleared the last room it became all too apparent that something big had gone down. She made her way back downstairs tucking her gun back into its holster and rolled her shoulders stretching her spine as she stepped into the meeting hall again; she wanted another look at the corpses.

"Upstairs is out best bet. We've cleared a few rooms, we can barricade those if we have too," Rick's voice came from behind as he descended the stairs. "We'll be all right"

"You mean this time? Or are you lying to us like all the times before?"

"That's unfair and no help at all"

She turned away from the discussion and began to check the nearest corpse, the stress was beginning to make people fracture, it was causing rifts between them all. Blood soaked through her knee as she knelt to check another corpse, the cold wet material stuck to her skin, she tried to ignore it and chewed on the corner of her lower lip as she whittled down the possibilities of what could have happened. _No bite marks, no scratches; so they didn't turn. But something bad enough happened to warrant a bullet to the head._ She began to look at another corpse, this one was much younger, obviously one of the care takers. She picked up the arm closest to her and frowned upon seeing the bruising and scratches along it. _A fight happened._ She cast her gaze around the room and slowly took in the destruction and the corpses before everything began to fall into place. _Some_ _ **one**_ _stormed through this place. No mercy, no quarter._

"What the hell happened?" Glenn's voice drifted over her.

"What do you think? They got overrun" Andrea's answer made her snort but it was Daryl's louder one that caught the blonde's attention. "Something to say?"

"Yeah," He snapped back at her mirroring her snotty attitude. "How about observant?"

"Observant? Big word from a guy like you" She shook her head, as Andrea berated Daryl, and stood before leaning back against a nearby table ready to watch the shitshow about to start. "Three whole syllables"

"Walkers didn't do this," He motioned widely at the massacre in the room. "Geeks didn't show up 'till _all_ this went down. Somebody attack this place, killed all these people, took whatever they wanted," He pointed towards one corpse. "All those in the head, execution style," His informative tone took on a more sinister tone. "Ya'll worried about walkers, I'd be much more worried about the people that came and did all this," He turned towards Andrea as he hefted his crossbow up over his shoulder. "Get a dictionary, look it up, _observant_ " The blonde's eyes fell as he walked out of the room, it was obvious she hadn't liked being put in her place, especially by the resident redneck.

Neon leant against one of the walls outside the small room they'd packed into, Spud was curled up inside at Sophia's feet keeping the girl company. She shifted her weight from foot to foot and looked down at her hands, specks of blood were caught in the corners of her cracks of her hands and underneath her remaining nails, she sighed heavily and let her head fall back against the wall, eyes closing briefly as she imagined what she would have been doing at the time if the world hadn't gone to shit; she would have been finishing up dinner while Connor was playing on the Xbox and Amelia was finishing up her homework, and Quinn, he would have either been helping Amelia or helping her in the kitchen. She opened her eyes letting her grip slip on the happy image in her and rubbed at her cheek flexing her jaw listening to her joint crack and pop in protest as she pushed herself off the wall stepping back into the room to take a seat one of the floor as Rick and Shane came back.

"We ransacked the kitchen, all we found is one can" Shane tossed a can towards Daryl.

"They hit the dispensary too, tore the door of its hinges, took everything except this" Rick landed a packet of aspirin to Lori.

"So we came back for cough drops and some _Garbanzo beans_ " Daryl snorted derisively as he shook his head and set into opening the can.

"Is there any water?"

"Just the one bottle I bought," Shane stated opening the bottle from his bag and handed it to Sophia. "Just a few sips, gotta make it last, gotta go for everyone, okay?"

"What else you got in there?" Shane rifled through the bag and pulled out a packet of saltines shaking it with a sarcastic smile.

She sighed mutely before speaking up. "I've got water in the 'Am, M.R.E's too. Give me five seconds and I'll run down and get them"

"You shouldn't go alone" It was Carol that worried for her.

"Want to come with?" She directed the inquiry to Rick as she stood and started for the door before stepping out, she checked her weaponry as she waited and glanced over at Rick as he stepped out of the room. They walked along the corridor and down the stairs in silence until they were outside in the small courtyard. "I apologise for what happened in the CDC," She broke their silence; her apology was the only reason why she'd asked him to come along. "My temper got the better on me," She explained as they made their way through the storage garage lighting the way with a flashlight she'd pillaged from a drawer in the priests office. "I don't like bein' backed into a corner I can't get out of, and I sure as shit don't like people makin' my decisions for me," They paused looking around the courtyard before starting for the convoy of vehicles. "I'm, honestly, not normally a loose cannon but sometimes shit just piles up, one on top of the other, and it gets under your skin," She hauled herself through the broken window and offered a hand to Rick helping him up. "This entire situation is do or die, and I've been in situations like it before, but this time it's different," She popped open the boot of the 'Am and began to fish around in it for the bottles of water and M.R.E's. "This time my kids are out there"

"You've got children?"

She turned and looked at him before fishing out the photo from down her shirt and handed it to him as she sat on the edge of the boot. "Connor and Amelia, seventeen and eight," She explained as she watched him unfold the photo. "They were with their father in Atlanta when shit hit the fan, I searched that city top to bottom and never found them or him," She shook her head thinking of her ex-husband. "Clayton was a worthless piece of shit anyway, he would have cut and ran as soon as he could and I doubt he would have taken them with him"

"The two of you don't get on?"

She laughed wryly. "Not anymore we don't," A smile curled at her lips as she shook her head. "There was a point when I was in love with him but that's long gone"

"Do you think they're still alive?"

"I taught the two of them how to survive without me," She stood and began to pack a few things into a bag. "I don't know how much longer I can stay with this group, I need to find them"

"I understand," Rick handed the photo back and took the bag from her. "But going out there alone, it could be a death sentence"

She looked at him for a moment before shutting the boot and sighed softly as she weighed out the options in her mind. "If I stay I'm not goin' to take anyone's shit, least of all your dear old friend, Shane's" She wasn't willing to compromise on that fact. "Understand?" He nodded. "That's not to say I'm goin' to skive off with everythin' but if I want to be alone then I want to be alone" He nodded again and she gave a small satisfied nod and extended her hand. "So, are we all good?"

He shook her hand firmly. "All good" He confirmed.

They made their way back through the garage and corridors, stopping briefly to hand a bottle of water and M.R.E to T-Dog, before carrying on to the room again. They shared out the rations and finally took a seat to eat as Rick and Shane began to discuss where to go next. Neon felt a tap against her shoulder and looked up at Daryl as he held out a bottle of wine; she took it taking a long drink from it before handing it back.

"All these people," Glenn's voice cut through the silence of the room. "Who would have done something like this, just come in here and murder everybody," She looked over at him. "Even all the old people, how sick is that?"

"Is this something we need to be discussing right now?"

"We may not want to but we probably should" She interjected her opinion into the conversation and earned a glare from Lori.

"Don't you start too"

She rolled her eyes as she stood. "Bein' a realist bites, doesn't it?" She threw Glenn a half-hearted grin as she stepped out of the room to stretch her legs and pace in private for a minute, her thoughts clouded from everything that had happened during the day. She began to sort through them as she leant against the windowsill of the window at the end of the hall.

"Hey, the kids in there are terrified," She glanced over her shoulder as a small group emerged from the room. "The women too"

"Guy's, I'm really sorry"

"We're all rattled and exhausted and no one's thinking clearly but we have to start, our lives depend on it"

"You're damn right, we can't ever let our guard down again" She let out a derisive snort as she turned and leant back against the windowsill, Shane's eyes immediately snapping towards her. "What?"

"I'm surprised, you say that yet you want to go to Fort Bennin'," She shrugged her shoulders lightly. "After what happened at the CDC, what gives you even an inklin' that it's still a viable option?"

"It's attitudes like that, that aren't helping" Rick situated himself between them; a smart move to ensure neither of them could get at each other. "You're being pessimistic about the situation"

"I'm not bein' a pessimist, I'm bein' a realist," She hated having to explain that to people. "There's a difference and I would have expected _you_ to know that, and I'm bein' one since apparently no one else in this group wants to be. Look the truth hurts and some people in this fuckin' group need to hear it so they can snap out of the fairy tale they've got goin' on in their heads, get their shit together, and pick their hearts up off the fuckin' floor"

"We just lost a member of the group, people need time to grieve" Shane snapped at her only to receive a cold and slightly impassive glare in return.

"Then let them do it in their own time, in a situation like this there's no time to stand around and wait for people to grieve, it needs to be put on the back burner so we can focus on _survival_ "

"Well not all of us are emotionless robots like you"

"I'm not emotionless nor am I a robot, I just know what it's like to lose people you care about in the middle of a warzone, and I also know that in the middle of that fuckin' warzone you can't stop and cry over someone you've lost"

"Look, let's just stop this and get some rest," Rick interjected himself into the conversation trying to mediate before it deteriorated further. "Everyone's a bit frayed right now, so why don't we all just sleep on it over the night?"

She exhaled sharply deciding to concede and turned away from the group back towards the window, she leant against the edge of it staring out into the dark night and turned her eyes skyward watching the stars glitter before sighing mutely as she folded her arms and closed her eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

Daryl looked over at Neon as she helped him to haul Merle's Bonneville off the back of his pickup, they'd decided to ditch the van, pickup and jeep in favour of just the RV, Carol's wagon, the Bonneville, and the 'Am. He felt a smile twitch at the corner of his lips as he remembered the verbal spat that had happened only minutes before, Shane had told Neon to ditch the 'Am and she'd been unwilling to compromise, told him outright to fuck off, the minute he'd taken a step in her direction she'd spat at him in Gaelic and told him he'd be picking his teeth up off the floor if he took another step. If there was only thing he'd noticed since the CDC disaster and the nursing home massacre, it was that she'd become distant. "Neon" He called out to her and received no answer, she either wasn't listening or was ignoring him. "Hey!"

Her head jerked up, startled, before she inclined it in question. "What?" Her tone had a rough, cold edge to it.

"You all good?"

"Just dandy" She began to rifle through her pockets and pulled out a cigarette carton, she flipped it open and scowled, crushing it, before tossing the empty packet away to the side.

He decided to tempt fate and call her out. "Bullshit"

She made no attempt to cover the roll of her eyes that she gave. "Just thinkin' about everythin'," She rolled her shoulders stretching against the side of the pickup. "Let's just get our shit packed and back on the road"

He stalled at the biting tone she'd used, he was confused, he was so sure they were on pretty good terms with one another, especially after the night they'd shared in the CDC. A cold feeling swept through his bones and settled in the pit of his stomach as a thought itched at the back of his mind and he began to wonder if she'd simply used him to kill her loneliness. He tried to shake the feeling and looked back over at her again; she was busy admiring the Bonneville, one hand resting on the handlebars as she smiled affectionately. "Give you a ride some time, if you want"

Her eyes flicked up and a roguish smile graced her lips. "Already been there, saighdeoir," She leant back against the tailgate of the pickup and checked her pockets before coming up with a secondary pack of cigarettes, she slipped two into her mouth lighting them and handed one over to him. "How do you think I wound up pregnant at seventeen?" He accepted the cigarette as he settled beside her, both silent as they watched the others moving their things from car to car or over to the RV while Shane and T-Dog set about trying to siphon more gas out of the other cars around them.

Daryl watched Neon out the corner of his eyes, she looked unhappy, like something was eating at her. He shifted his hand closers to hers, it was an awkward gesture of comfort at best; he'd never been big on the whole comforting people shtick, not when he'd grown up in a household with Merle's merciless teasing and others that just didn't seem to give a damn about him. He saw her gun metal shaded eyes shift towards his hand, a small smile tugging at her lips before she hooked her little finger with his and then moved her hand over the top of his giving it a gentle squeeze. His face flushed red. "We'll find 'em," He spoke lowly to her as he sucked on his cigarette. "We'll find all of 'em. Merle, your brother, and your two kids"

She lowered her head as pain began to surface in her eyes. "I know" A bitter smile touched her lips. "I know we'll find them, I just dread _what_ we'll find when we do" She turned her face away from him and tipped the as off the end of her cigarette before removing her hand from his as she stood.

"They'll be fine, Neon," He didn't know how to reassure her, he knew she hoped to find them alive and well, but she was a realist and she was struggling to come to terms with the fact that they might not be living when they found them. "They'll be kickin' ass and takin' names"

She was silent, eyes focused solely on Spud as he lounged in the sun. "Amelia always begged for a puppy," She finally broke her silence and shook her head with a small nostalgic smile gracing her lips. "Every damn time we went near a pet store or saw someone with a dog, can't say I never wanted one either but we lived in one of those big loft apartments in the Irish side of Boston," She explained as she took another drag on her cigarette. "The manager was a complete tosser, can't say I'm happy that I didn't get to put a round in his fuckin' face," She laughed after a few seconds seemingly having remembered something. "The first day we moved in, do you know what he said? He told me if I ever had problems payin' the rent then there were always _'other'_ options open," She shook her head snorting softly in disgust. "Fuckin' prick"

Daryl took another drag on his cigarette holding it for a moment as he listened to her and slowly let his eyes roam over her, he'd never quite stopped to look at her properly, even when she'd stripped half naked at the gas station when they'd first met. She was tall with a strong, well built, and hardened athletic frame, it was imposing to say the least and made him think she could run twenty miles without trouble. Her skin, underneath the grime, was tanned from the sun and etched with scars and tattoos, the muscle underneath gave her a certain amount of definition and added to the imposing nature of her natural stance. He began to wonder what she'd looked like in her younger days, in her military days and before that. His eyes traversed her figure, her hips were a bit wider than what he would have expected and her breasts a bit fuller but he put it down to the fact that she had two children; not that he was really complaining about that state of her figure, he had certainly enjoyed the feeling of it under his fingers at the CDC.

"Gotta do somethin' about this shit," Her words cut through his thoughts and he jerked his head towards her as she fingered a long strand of chestnut coloured hair. "Should just cut it off, that would be easiest" She was talking to herself as she unsheathed her knife and bent back the pickups wing mirror peering into it.

"…What?"

Her shoulders jumped slightly and she glanced back at him. "Sorry, didn't realise I was talking out loud," She picked at a strand of loose hair. "It's too long and I'm gettin' sick of braidin' the fucker all the time… plus it's less for those shufflers to grab a hold off" He was certain that was a small dig at him and the hair pulling during their romp.

"Less for me to grab a hold of too"

A grin slipped to her lips as her cheeks tinted red. "Aye, but maybe that's a good thing," She rubbed at her scalp. "I'm pretty sure you ripped out a few hairs with how hard you were tuggin'" He looked away and felt the heat rise up his neck and cheeks before a thump next to him caught his attention and he found the a thick braid of brunette hair sitting next to him on the pickup, he watched her slice her knife through a few others strands straightening them out. "So what do you think, saighdeoir?"

He took her in again; it was different, definitely different, and looked strange after seeing her with long hair for so long, somehow she looked more dangerous, more intimidating, and he offered her a shrug. "Looks all righ' I guess"

She gave a roll of her eyes and stooped low to look in the pickups mirror again before running a hand through her hair and fluffing it out, she tidied a few more strands out and tucked her knife away again before grinning.

"You just…" Both turned to look at the owner of the voice and found Lori staring Neon.

"That I did," She confirmed. "Practicality at its finest, if those dumb dead bastards can't grab me then they can't bite me," She shrugged nonchalantly. "Plus it's good to be impulsive every once in a while, keeps life interestin'"

He couldn't disagree with the notion; his life had definitely become more interesting since she'd first screeched into it.

"Let's get back on the road, we can't waste all day standing around," Dale's voice called out to them. "There's still a lot of ground between us and Fort Benning"

Daryl filled his saddlebags with his things from the pickup and threw the rest into the RV. Neon had already said it was a waste of time, she'd quite openly stated she was reserving the right to say _'I told you so'_ when they arrived and found nothing. He slipped onto the Bonneville and looked over at the woman in question, she was sitting in the driver's seat of the 'Am with one arm hanging carelessly out the window, her blue mirrored aviators shading her eyes as she took a drag on a new cigarette. He kicked the Bonneville into life and tossed the dying cigarette stub aside before starting off down the road, the RV pulling out after him with the 'Am behind it and the wagon pulling up the rear.


	19. Chapter 19

Neon frowned and slowed to a halt as the RV halted in front of her, she poked her head out the window as the others exited the RV. "What's up?"

"Radiator's spitting steam again and there's a blockage of cars up ahead"

She sighed. _Told you we shouldn't have gone on the highway._ She shook her head knowing if she said it out loud it would only end in another fight. She stepped out of the 'Am and let Spud out watching as he raced off to cock his leg up against the wheel of a nearby car. She stretched high and surveyed the area, immediately noting how Spud's hackles went up and his eyes focused on the direction they'd come from. "Close, Spud" She called out to the dog before heading towards the front of the RV, somehow it still managed to surprise her that the road stretching out in front of them was nearly entirely blocked with cars and the odd truck. _It's like a fucking vehicle cemetery out there._ She peered through one of the windows spying a rotted, almost skeletal corpse in the driver's seat.

"Got a problem, Dale?" She turned her attention back to the group that had amassed.

"Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of–" Dale cut himself off as he looked around. "Okay, that was dumb"

Her attention snapped to Daryl as he sifted through the back of one of the cars. "There's a whole bunch of stuff we can find" He called out pushing things to one side in the boot he was searching through.

"I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start"

"Maybe some water?"

"Or food?"

"…This is a graveyard"

She twisted slightly looking over at Lori. "Aye, and I said the highways were a death trap layered in icin' but it's too late now, with any luck we can scavenge up enough supplies to backtrack and make it off this godforsaken stretch of road," She pointed to the road ahead. "I'm scoutin' up ahead with Spud if you need me" She turned making her way down the trail of abandoned cars.

Neon occasionally watched Spud as he walked a few metres ahead of her, his head down scanning from side to side, hackles up as he prowled and occasionally let out a soft rumbling growl. She stopped and glanced into one of the cars, briefly wondering when she'd become so immune to the sights of a rotting corpse. Her hand twitched towards the gun at her hip as she felt a hand brush over her shoulder and glared at Daryl when she saw him. "Lookin' to get your head blown off, saighdeoir?"

"Find anythin' good?"

"Not yet"

He nodded leaning through the window of another car and rifled through a bag before coming out empty handed. "What's he lookin' for?" His head jerked towards Spud as the dog sniffed the ground.

"Probably whatever corpse is still kickin'," She stated as she stopped beside a pickup and backtracked a few paces before placing her foot on the bumper to boost herself up, she grabbed the handle bound in cord protruding from the canvas cover strapped down over the pickup's tray. "Oh darlin'. You. Are. _Gorgeous!_ " She grinned brightly searching for a rag in the pickup before wiping it down the dead straight machete blade.

"Jungle machete," Daryl whistled lowly through his teeth from her side. "Nice find"

"Finders keepers," She laughed and searched the back of the pickup for a sheath, and immediately set about attaching it to her belt once she found one. She slid the machete home and looked up with a grin before a commotion in the distance caught her attention, she watched Rick run up to Lori, Carol, and the kids, and frowned before he waved towards them and then towards the RV. "Shit" She swore seeing what he was so frantic about; a group of walkers were heading towards them.

"Get under the pickup," Daryl pushed down on her shoulder and pointed to the space under the pickup in an urge to get under the vehicle. "You and Spud, hurry up" His hand left her shoulder as he crouched and ducked off around another vehicle as several walkers broke off from the main group.

"Spud" She hissed at the dog and pointed to the underside of the car before dropping down and rolling underneath it, a soft breath leaving her lips as Spud dropped low and crawled under with her. She swallowed roughly hooking an arm around him drawing him flush against her. She stilled her breathing as the gurgles and growls of the walkers drew closer, the shuffle of their feet sent a chill through her bones as the first one began to shuffle past. She watched and clutched the vibrating dog closer, every muscle in his body was twitching as he waited for her signal to attack and she wrapped a hand around the chain link collar around his neck, the other touching the heirloom rosary around her neck as the main body of the group behind to shuffle past.

She exhaled a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding in and stayed completely still waiting in silence for a good minute or two after the group had passed before letting go of Spud and rolling onto her back cautiously poking her head out from under the pickup to take a look around. She rolled out pushing herself onto her hands and knees and called Spud after her before quick timing it back to the group now congressed outside the RV. "What happened?" She queried upon reaching them and seeing Carol in tears with Lori holding her back.

"Walker found Sophia, Rick went after her"

She nodded running a hand through her hair. "Rick'll do what he can to find her" She twisted as a dishevelled Rick burst out of the bushes.

"I managed to draw the walkers off, is she back yet?"

"No"

Rick turned to look back at the wooded area, worry etching his face. "Daryl; you, Shane, and Glenn come with me, the rest of you stay here encase she makes it back, we'll go out and search for her" He turned grabbing his rifle from Shane before the four of them headed out into the undergrowth.

 

Neon shifted on the bonnet of the creamy tan coloured car she was sitting on. "Did a good fuckin' number, didn't you?" She muttered as she wiped a piece of gauze soaked in vodka down the gash in T-Dog's forearm. She glanced up to find Carl watching them. "Take note kid, vodka does wonders as a disinfectant in a pinch," She pressed a clean pad to T-Dog's arm and began to thread a needle. "Any alcohol that's eighty proof usually does a pretty decent job"

"How bad is it?"

She looked over at Dale as he peered over her shoulder at the wound. "Looks like he nicked a vein, so worst case scenario? He dies from the infection, best case? He dies from blood loss. This is, of course, if we don't magically find a doctor soon"

"I ain't lettin' no little cut take me out" T-Dog mumbled as his body swayed as he tried to stay up right.

"Aye, keep talkin' tough guy," She muttered checking the wound again before wiping it down once more. "Only thing we can do is raid our supplies and keep it clean and wrapped tight until we find some gnarly meds to combat the infection settin' in," She threw the bloody pad to one side getting ready to make the first stitch. "If it comes down to it I can take the arm off"

"You know how to do amputations?"

She nodded. "Done it before in the field"

T-Dog jerked his arm out of her grasp almost falling from the bonnet of the car at the same time. "I ain't lettin' you take my goddamn arm off!"

"Want to lose the arm or your life?" She growled as she snatched the arm back. "Now sit the fuck still so I can stitch this bastard or you're goin' to lose both," She glanced over at Dale before turning her eyes back to her work. "We need meds and I don't know if what's in the 'Am will cut it, so someone needs to go and search the mass fuckin' death trap for som–"

"Stop calling it that" Lori's voice cut her off.

"Why? Because I'm right and you don't want to hear the truth? Or because I'm tellin' it like it is and it's hurtin' your feelin's?" She didn't bother to look up but could almost feel the heated glare burn her back. She paid no mind to it as she made another stitch, the very first time she'd stitched one of her own wounds shut she'd done it too tight leaving a nice line of stitch scarring along her left calf. She cut the thread of the last stitch after tying it off and doused the wound in vodka before drying it off and bandaging it. "Now go sit your arse in the RV out of the sun and get some rest, drink water and have a bite to eat, anythin' that keeps your blood sugar and iron levels up but steer clear of alcohol, cleanin' wounds with it is fine but drinkin' it not so much" She watched him amble into the RV with Dale's help before turning as Glenn and Shane appeared.

"Did you find her?"

"Daryl and Rick are still lookin', too many of us would've mucked up the trail," Shane answered Carol's question. "We need to get the RV and the other cars ready to move for when we find her, that means moving some of these car so we can turn the RV around and scavenging up some more supplies since we can't go through this," He motioned to the blocked road. "Lori, you and Glenn start sifting through the cars, see what you can find and siphon some gas from them, Andrea and I will start moving these cars, Dale and Neon can get the radiator hose out of the truck and start fixin' the RV"

She gave a nod taking the tools from Dale as he came back out and then set into the task of trying to get the radiator hose out of the truck.


	20. Chapter 20

Neon stretched out on the passenger's seat of her 'Am, the night had long since set in many hours beforehand forcing Daryl and Rick to call off their search and make their way back to the RV, and without Sophia which had sent Carol into another fit of tears. She idly stroked Spud's head and sighed softly chewing on a sour gummy snake from an unopened packet she'd found in one of the cars, she turned her head to look at the RV, Dale, Andrea, Glenn, T-Dog, Carol, and Daryl all had to squeeze into it and share the cramped space whilst Lori, Carl and Rick were sleeping in the wagon, and Shane was sleeping in his own ride he'd fixed up. She shifted under the blanket and sighed closing her eyes again, usually she didn't have trouble sleeping, years of conditioning had trained her to sleep whenever, wherever, and however but tonight she'd woken an hour before and had tried ever since to get back to sleep with little success. She heaved another sigh and opened her eyes again before they were drawn to Daryl sitting atop the RV with his crossbow and a pair of binoculars in hand as he watched for walkers.

She shifted freeing the photo from its spot down her shirt and ran a finger over the smiling faces of her children, a shudder crept through her spine at the thought of them being out there all alone, she could only hope they'd managed to make their way somewhere safe and that Clayton had decided to actually act like their father for a change and stick with them. She tucked the photo away as she sat up, it was only an hour or two until sunrise, more than enough time to take a walk and sort through the mess in her head in some sort of attempt to clear it. She stepped out of the 'Am and stretched before slinging her hoodie on and her denim jacket over the top.

"What're you doin'?"

She looked up at Daryl who was now peering over the side of the RV at her. "Goin' for a walk"

"Where?"

"That way," She pointed towards the mess of cars as she grabbed her weaponry. "I'll stick close, don't worry, and Spud'll be with me" The dog in question jumped out of the 'Am and shook himself off with a yawn. "I'll be back before the sun rises"

"All righ'," He hesitated, obviously reluctant to let her go, as he glanced towards the direction she'd pointed towards. "Call out if you need help" She gave a wave of her hand to show she'd heard him as she started to walk away into the mess of cars strewn about the road.

Spud wandered lazily at her side occasionally stopping to mark his territory on a car tyre as she jammed her hands into her pocket walking in silence for a long while before finally stopping and looking back and was surprised at how much ground she had covered in only a few minutes, she looked to the road ahead of her and wondered what would happen if she just kept walking. She shook her head lightly and forged on between two cars, her eyes snapping towards the trees lining to road as the wind swept through them making them rustle, a twig snapped somewhere off to her right deep within the treeline and she paused looking towards the trees, watching them silently for a moment, before a smile wound its way to her lips as she remembered how scared Connor had been on his first camping trip, the trees had rustled outside the tent and he'd clung to her crying for her to protect him from the big scary monsters. Neon shook her head clearing away the memory as the smile faded from her lips before forging on down the road of littered cars.

 

Daryl shifted in the seat on top of the RV, the sun had begun to rise almost a half hour before and Neon still hadn't returned from her walk with Spud, either she'd lied to him about how long she'd be gone or something had happened. _Shit, where the fuck is she?_ His eyes danced towards Shane and Rick, as soon as the former had noticed Neon was missing he'd almost gone off his rocker to Rick, despite the fact he'd told them she'd said she was going for a walk, but Shane had continued to spout on that she was a flight risk, she wasn't a _'team player',_ and was endangering everyone else in the group, Rick had turned around and told him to back off, to give her breathing room, and that he trusted her and her judgement.

His eyes snapped to the horizon as he saw a figure weaving slowly in and out of the cars, a dog trotting at their side. _About fucking time._ He felt relief at seeing her and peered through the binoculars to make sure it was indeed her. _Ah shit, what happened now?_ Her shoulders were sagged and she looked despondent with her hands jammed in her pockets and her hood bunched around her neck.

"Is that her?"

He looked down at the irate Shane and nodded before he made his way down the RV's ladder. "Yeah"

"Where the hell've you been? Fucking disappearing in the middle of the night and not telling anyone"

"Hey man, lay off, she fuckin' told me she was goin' for a walk," He snapped grabbing Shane's shoulder jerking him back. "Told you that when you asked"

Neon was silent; her clothing splashed with fresh blood, and her boots caked in mud. "Rick" Her tone was low, a warning.

"Shane, leave her be," Rick grabbed his friends shoulder trying to get him to step back and calm down. "This is neither the time nor the place to start this"

Shane glared at him ripping his shoulder out of Rick's grip. "You got a fucking answer? We got a lost little girl to find and you think it's a good idea to just go walkabouts?"

Daryl shifted uncomfortably as Neon's fingers curled into a fist, her head snapping up with her eyes set into a glare, the same sort of glare his father used to level him with when he wanted to kick his teeth in for something, he was almost thankful that death glare was directed at Shane and not him. "I needed to clear my fuckin' head," She bit out between gritted teeth but didn't advance forward and challenge him, instead she stood her ground with shoulders square and spine straight bringing her to her full height. "Not that it's any of _your_ fuckin' business, I trust Daryl told you I was goin' for a walk?" She looked to Rick for an answer and received a nod before she turned her ire back on Shane. "Then what the fuck are you complainin' about? I got my own shit to deal with without havin' to deal with everyone else's and you climbin' up my goddamn arse about everythin'"

"So Carol's missing girl ain't _'one of your problems'_?"

A growl rumbled in her throat and an almost feral look entered her eyes, she was getting ready to physically rip into him if he didn't back off. "I never fuckin' said that, now did I? Sophia missin' is _everyone's_ problem, but I've got a thousand _other_ problems goin' on in my own head right now and I need to sort all that out, _prioritise_ my own shit," She spat at him. "Since your head's stuck too far up your own arse to realise, _other_ people have missin' family in this bullshit too. I've got a fuckin brother, a fuckin' _family_ , lost in all this shit" She finally challenged Shane and took a threatening step forward, and Daryl's hand instinctively clenched the stock of his crossbow tighter. "The next time you start somethin' with me is the last time you do it, understand?" The threat was clear and she didn't bother to wait for an answer as turned her back on him and started towards the 'Am. "Now let's get this search underway so we can find Sophia and get the fuck out of this goddamn death trap"

Rick lurched forward grabbing Shane's arm to stop him from following her. "Enough Shane"

Daryl watched as Neon popped the boot of the 'Am and then shucked her jackets, the blood spattered tank top following soon after before she tugged on a fresh shirt and slammed the car boot shut heading towards them with a box. "If we're goin' to do this we can't do it on an empty stomach," She dumped the box on the hood of a nearby car rifling through it and took out three canteen along with a bottle of water. "Take whatever, just make sure the kid and T-Dog get food first," She sat on the edge of the hood as she began to pour water into each canteen. "Rick; you, me, Shane, and Daryl should be the only one's carryin' today"

Rick nodded dumping a roll of weapons onto the hood next to her. "Everyone else can take one of these, then"

She glanced towards the weaponry and nodded. "All right," She motioned to the canteen's she was filling. "I've only got the three but we found some water in the cars yesterday, so that can be divided up between everyone else," She held one out to him, which he took with an appreciative nod, before tossing another to Lori. "Save it for our trek" She called out taking a swig from the bottle she'd been filling them from offering it to him as she slipped off the hood of the car and started towards T-Dog sitting on the RV's steps. "Come on, I need to change that bandage"

"Everybody takes a weapon" Rick announced drawing his attention away from Neon.

"These aren't the kind of weapons we need, what about the guns?"

"As Neon said, four of us will be carrying; we can't have people popping off rounds every time a tree rustles"

"It's not the trees I'm worried about"

Daryl glanced towards her as she came back out of the RV and leant against the side of the car to listen to the conversation. "You all right?" She looked up at him as he leant against the car next to her.

She nodded numbly as she spun the chambers on the stealth hunter snapping it back into place with a flick of her wrist. "Fine, why?"

" _'I'll be back before the sun rises'_ " He reiterated her parting words to him and she shrugged lightly in return.

"Stopped to take a piss" She murmured half-heartedly watching Spud as she sat in front of her.

He nodded sensing he probably wasn't going to get a better answer from her and turned back to the group to explain the plan of the day to them. "The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side, chances are she'll be by the creek, it's her only landmark"

"Dale, keep on those repairs, we've got to get this RV ready to move"

"We won't stay here a minute longer than we have too," He caught the glance Dale and Neon shared and wondered briefly what it was all about. "Good luck out there, bring Sophia back"

She handed a bottle of water to Dale and a bottle of meds. "It's the best I've got until we find something better, pity there's no hospitals close by"

"Thank you"

She nodded giving a whistle to Spud and set off down the small embankment and into the wooded area.

 

Neon walked in silence and twirled a stick she'd picked up, they'd only been walking for an hour or so before coming across tracks that led them to a small campsite with a tent pitched in the trees and no one around it. She knelt beside a tree with Daryl as she motioned for the others to stop. "I don't see any small tracks," She motioned with the stick to a disturbed ground around the tent. "Only adults," She frowned softly. "And they don't look fresh"

Daryl gave a nod unhooking his crossbow and handed it to her as he drew his hunting knife and she twisted snapping her fingers at Rick motioning for him to bring Carol forward as Daryl crept towards the tent silently unzipping it and giving everyone the signal to be quiet. Rick motioned Carol forward telling her to call out to Sophia, when there was no answer Daryl slipped inside the tent before coming back out shortly afterwards. "Ain't her"

"Then who's in there?"

"Some guy," He shrugged. "Did what Jenner said, _'opted out'_ , ain't that what he called it?"

Neon shot up looking skyward as church bells began to toll and threw the crossbow back to Daryl before chasing after Rick.

"Which direction?"

She looked skyward as a flock of frightened birds shot overhead. "This way," She called out starting to run in the direction the birds had come from with Spud running alongside her until they broke the treeline into the rear of a graveyard. "There" She pointed to the small white church in the distance and began to sprint with Rick towards it, Spud in front of them chewing up ground easily before he shot up the steps of the church sniffing at the front doors, his hackles going up as he began to growl savagely. "If he's growlin' there could be one or a hundred and one shufflers in there" She hauled the dog back by his collar giving him an order to back off.

"Let's hope it's just one" Rick stated as he and Daryl headed up the stairs and carefully pushed the doors open.

She handed her machete to Daryl and took a hold of his crossbow as he, Shane, and Rick stepped into the church and separated to take on the three walkers sitting in the pews. She swore as the bells began to toll again and moved around the side of the building ripping open the small timer box on the side of the building disengaging the automated timer. "We'll be lucky if this doesn't draw the attention of every bloody shuffler within a mile and a half of here" She leant against the building with a sigh as the group split, most wandering back inside the church to take a seat for five minutes and she pushed herself off the building opting to wander between the rows of headstones before stopping to read a few of them and clear the dirt away from them.

"What're you doin' that for?"

She glanced over her shoulder at Daryl and shrugged lightly. "Honestly? I don't know, it's just… a habit, I guess. Da always taught me to be respectful of graveyards and cemeteries," She rubbed her thumb over the words etched into the stone. _'Edna Jacobs. Born March 3_ _rd_ _1902\. Died June 1_ _st_ _1984\. Loving wife, mother and grandmother.'_ She stood relieving the ache in her leg and turned towards Daryl. "So what's the plan now?"

He shrugged. "Keep lookin' I guess," He looked skyward. "It's about midday; we might as well start headin' back, check the other side of the creek while we're at it"

She nodded sighing softly. "Another lonely night in my 'Am then I guess" She murmured rubbing at the cooling sweat on the back of her neck.

"Doesn't have to be," He commented almost idly. "I can keep you company"

She glanced towards him, his eyes were dancing everywhere but at her, and she felt a smile tug at her lips. "You don't have to be so awkward, Daryl," She caught his hand giving it a squeeze before letting it go and starting back towards the church. "If I didn't fancy you I wouldn't have shagged you"

"Ya'll are gonna follow the creek bed back, okay? Neon and Daryl are in charge," Shane announced to the group as she reached the church with Daryl in tow. "Me and Rick, we're just gonna hang back, search this area another hour or so just to be thorough"

"You're splittin' us up, you sure?"

"Yeah, we'll catch up to you"

She gave a nod and threw a wave over her shoulder as she started for the treeline at the rear of the graveyard again, Spud tagging along beside her, head cocked up to look at her before he nudged her hand giving a soft whine.

"So this is it? This is the whole plan?"

"I guess the plan is to whittle us down into smaller and smaller groups"

She shot Daryl a warning glare at his sarcastic remark to Andrea's complaint. _Don't stoke the goddamn fire._

"Carrying knifes and pointy sticks, I see you two have guns"

She shifted her attention from the birds chirping in the trees towards the blonde. "Aye, I do and I'm goddamn military trained marksman, are you?" She snapped back receiving a filthy glare in return, Andrea's attitude had begun to grate of her already fine nerves. "Exactly. So just stow the shitty fuckin' attitude you picked up, stop whingin', and get the fuck over it"

"Here, take it," Lori held her revolver out to Andrea. "I'm sick of the looks you're giving me," Andrea took the gun looking at it for a moment. "All of you," Lori's eyes moved to Carol as she sat down. "Honey, I can't imagine what you're going through and I would do anything to stop it but you have got to stop blaming Rick, it's in your face every time you look at him," She was telling the cruel but blunt truth. "When Sophia ran he didn't hesitate, did he? Not for a second, I don't know that any of us would have gone after her the way he did or made the hard decisions that he had to make or that anybody could have done it any differently," She lowered her head shaking it softly. "Ya'll look to him and then blame him when he's not perfect, if you think you can do this without him, go right ahead, nobody is stopping you"

Neon cast her eyes back in the direction of the highway before Daryl's eye caught hers. She frowned softly shifting against the tree she was leaning against, the last thing she wanted to do was turn her back on them, on him, but finding Connor and Amelia was one of her top priorities alongside surviving. _Stay or go, I guess it's always going to be an eternal question now._


	21. Chapter 21

A gunshot ripped through the air and Neon snapped her head in its direction before she shared a quick glance with Daryl. "What was that about?"

He shrugged. "Must've found a walker"

She nodded slowly, unsure if she truly believed it, before they turned back starting in the direction of the road again. The shot worried her, after what had gone down on the highway she doubted Rick would have risked a shot. They'd only walked about a half mile before Lori stopped and turned back to where the shot had come from.

"You still worrying about it?"

"It was a gunshot"

"We all heard it" Neon leant back against one of trees exhaling slowly and wet her lips before drawing out her canteen to take a drink and offer some to Spud in a cupped hand.

"Why just one? Why just one gunshot?"

"Maybe they took down a walker" Daryl suggested.

Lori shook her head glaring at him. "Please don't patronise me, you know Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to put down one walker, or Shane, they'd do it quietly"

"Aye, she's right," Neon sighed surveying the area around them. "After that mess on the highway neither of them would cock it all up and risk attractin' shufflers to them"

"Shouldn't they have caught up to us by now?"

"There's nothin' we can do about it anyway," Daryl turned to look at the trees around them. "Can't run around these woods chasin' echoes"

"So what do we do?"

"Same as before, head back to the convoy and keep a look out for any sign of Sophia" Neon piped up putting her canteen away in one of her pockets.

They walked for a little while longer before stopping to take another break as Andrea turned to talk to Carol. "I'm sorry for what you're going through, I know how you feel"

"I suppose you do, thank you," Carol forced a smile to her lips before it faded. "The thought of here, out here by herself," She looked around the wooded area. "It's the not knowing that's killing me, I just keep hoping and praying she doesn't wind up like Amy–" She stopped, eyes going wide as she looked at Andrea almost in tears. "Oh god, that's the worst thing I ever said"

Andrea shook her head lightly. "We're all hoping and praying with you, for what it's worth"

Neon turned away from the group and shook her head lightly before glaring at the ground harshly; she'd give anything to even just have a glimpse of her children right now. She sighed flicking a stone with the toe of her boot as she lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. "I'll tell you what it's worth, not a damn thing," Her eyes shifted taking in Daryl as he spoke. "It's a waste of time, all this hopin' and prayin'," He shifted his eyes towards her before moving back to Carol. "We're gonna locate that little girl, and she's gonna be fine," He moved to turn away from them. "Am I the only one Zen around here? Good lord" She smothered a soft laugh and shook her head turning away carrying on towards the highway.

 

Neon stopped as Spud began to growl, his hackles going into the air like a Mohawk down the ridge of his spine. "What is it?" She murmured scanning the area and gripped her machete tighter.

"Come on, we'll lose the light before too long, I think we should call it"

She nodded to the suggestion. "Let's head back," She kept her eyes on Spud as his nose went into the air as he sniffed. "Ain't shit we can do in the dark"

"We'll pick it up again tomorrow?" She glanced over at Carol as she spoke and nodded.

"Of course"

"How much further?"

"Not much, maybe a hundred yards, as the crow flies"

"Two bad we're not crows"

She glanced back over her shoulder at the small group and then turned her attention back to Spud as he started growling again, head low to the ground as he hunted the surrounding area for his prey. "Spud" He growled again barring his teeth as he let out a predatory growl and Neo spun on her foot as a cry for help echoed through the trees. "Andrea?" She gave Spud the signal to go and ran after him to find Andrea struggling with a walker on top of her. Spud stopped cold as a horse came cantering from the trees in front of him, the bat the rider held struck the walker knocking it sideways.

"Lori, Lori Grimes?" The rider queried.

"I'm Lori"

"Rick sent me, you've gotta come now"

"What?"

"There's been an accident, Carl's been shot," The rider seemed almost panicked. "He's still alive but you've gotta come now, Rick needs you, just come!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, we don't know this girl," Daryl tried to grab Lori to stop her getting on the horse. "You can't get on that horse"

"Rick said you had others on the highway, that big traffic snarl?"

Neon nodded glancing at Spud who was still eyeing the downed walker. "Aye"

"Back track to Fairburn road, two miles down is our far, you'll see the mailbox, names Greene" She turned spurring the horse on leaving the group in a slight daze as to what the fuck just happened.

Neon turned as the walker sat up and drew her machete before Daryl fired an arrow through its skull killing it and retrieved it before helping Andrea up. "Dependin' on when we get back to the RV could be too late to turn around," She commented. "It would probably be best to wait it out until the mornin'"

Daryl nodded as they started back for the highway; the two of them fell into step with each other, crossbow and machete in hand as they walked. "How you holdin' up?"

She felt a twitch in her jaw and snapped lightly at him. "Fine, now stop askin'"

He shifted falling out of step with her, taken aback by her tone no doubt, and nodded stiffly. "…Sorry"

She looked over at him and sighed softly before shaking her head. "Don't be, it's just me. I'm a stroppy cow to deal with when I'm in a bad mood," She looked at the machete in her hand. "I know stayin' is a good idea but I want to go, Daryl. I'm torn and it's not good for me"

"I didn't mean to do that to you," His eyes refused to meet hers as he wrestled with whatever inner turmoil was brewing in his mind. "You can leave if you want, keep goin', find your kids, your brother"

She glanced at him briefly before looking skyward as she began to question whether or not it was him that had her torn, and if she wanted to live with the hope that her family was still alive or find out the actual truth. "And what do you want?" She queried.

"Huh?"

"What. Do. _You_. Want?" She repeated slowly. "Do you want me to stay or bugger off?"

A confused look entered his eyes, and she began to mentally question whether he'd ever been asked the question before. "…I want you to find your family, but maybe the only way to do that is to stay with us?"

She felt a smile tug at her lips and bumped her shoulder against his in a playful shove. "Just admit it saighdeoir, you only want me around because you'd miss the shaggin' if I left"

His head lowered, cheeks tinting red under the dirt as a small smile played at his lips before they broke the treeline beside the RV and were immediately bombarded by Dale. "Where're Lori and the others?"

"Kid got shot" She informed him as she climbed the embankment before heading towards her car.

"Shot? What do you mean shot?" Dale directed his attention to Glenn as he climbed the embankment.

"I don't know Dale, I wasn't there. All I know is that this chick rode in out of nowhere like Zorro on a horse and took Lori"

"And you let her?" Dale turned to Daryl.

"Climb down out of my asshole man, Rick sent her. She knew Lori's name and Carl's"

Neon stretched and rested against the bonnet of her 'Am, her bones and muscles ached after walking for so long. _Definitely not as fit as I used to be, I should really start conditioning myself again._ She took a long drink from her canteen and poured out the remainder into a bowl for Spud. "We need to set out and if we don't do it now, we need to do it in the mornin', first thing"

"I won't do it, we can't just leave"

"Carol, the group is split," Dale tried to reason with the distraught woman. "We're scattered and weak"

"What if she comes back and we're not here?"

"Then we leave some supplies, and a message telling her to stay here and that we'll be back for her," Neon nodded to the wrecked cars. "There's got to be a can of spray paint in one of these cars somewhere"

Daryl nodded. "We pull up stakes in the mornin', gives us enough time to rig a big sign," He motioned to RV. "I'll stay here tonight with the RV"

"If the RV's staying I am too" Dale stated running his hand over the metal exterior.

"Thank you, thank you both"

Their eyes fell to Andrea. "I'm in"

"I'll head to the farm," Neon jerked her head to T-Dog. "If they've got a doc maybe they can help patch him up properly, get rid of that infection that's set in"

"Take Glenn with you too," Dale motioned to the wagon. "He can take Carol's Cherokee"

"Aye," She nodded. "Sounds like a plan but T-Dog needs some drugs in him and I don't know if the shit I have will cut it anymore" Her attention turned to Daryl as he headed to his Bonneville and grab a rag sitting on top of it before fishing out a plastic bag.

"Keep your oily rags of my brother's motorcycle," He snapped throwing the rag at Dale before dumping the bag on the 'Am's hood and started to rifle through it. "Why'd you wait 'till now to say anythin'?" He queried. "Got my brother's stash," He rifled through some of the baggies. "Crystal… X… don't need that," He murmured. "Got some kick ass painkillers," He threw a bottle at Glenn. "Doxycycline, not the generic stuff neither," He handed a bottle to Dale. "Its first class, Merle got the clap on occasion"

She shook her head suppressing a grin. "Thank god for your brother's hooker habit, huh?" He glared lightly at her with a grin flickering across his lips as he turned his middle finger up at her. "Let's get some drugs into him then and hit the road; I want to do this while there's still some light, I'd prefer to not smack head on into one of those dumb dead bastards"

"All right, you guys get on the road," Dale handed Glenn the bottle of pills. "Stay behind Neon, she'll lead the way"

Neon nodded throwing her things onto the backseat and motioned for Spud to jump in before looking to Carol as she stood looking into the forest. She headed towards her and slipped the rosary from her neck placing it around Carol's. "It's been gettin' a bit rusty in my care, you might be able to get some use out of it," She grinned weakly with a shrug. "I'm not much of a good Catholic. Just look after it, it's been in my family since way back, you can give it back once we find your Sophia"

Carol looked at the rosary and smiled before nodding and hugging her. "Thank you"

"Aye, it's all right," She turned to look at Glenn. "Come on, let's hit the road," She stated before glancing over the rest of the group. "We'll meet you at the farm in the mornin'" She called as she slipped into the 'Am and backed up carefully between the wagon and the cars on the side of the road before waiting for Glenn and T-Dog to get situated so they could move off.


	22. Chapter 22

Neon stretched high and cast a weary gaze around the farm; sometime after having a shower, something to eat and sitting on one of the rocking chairs on the front porch she'd managed to fall asleep with her cheek resting one her fist and Spud napping at her feet. She rubbed her cheek and rocked the chair forward scrubbing at her face with her palms before looking up to see a steaming cup of tea in front of her face held by the eldest Greene child. "Thank you" Maggie nodded with a small smile before leaning back on the railing. "I'm sorry about your friend, Otis"

"Thank you," Maggie smiled sadly looking towards the sun as it began to rise, her hands wrapped firmly around her own steaming cup of tea. "Do you have any family?"

"Aye, a twin," She smiled remembering her brother. "He's my baby brother, even if it is only by fifteen minutes"

"A twin? Identical?"

"Aye? How'd you know?" She frowned softly before looking up at Maggie who quickly shook her head rushing back inside. She watched the girl go and frowned in confusion before she stood and drained the last dregs of her tea as she made her way inside to wash out her cup after kicking off her boots. She leant against the sink for a moment confused by how Maggie had rushed off, she let her mind wander and began to wonder if there was a slim chance Quinn had made it as far as the farm, a flash of hope ignited a spark in her chest and her hands clenched out of instinct on the countertop before she turned and started back outside.

"Dad wants us to collect rocks" She turned at the sound of Maggie's voice to find her hovering in the doorway.

She cocked an eyebrow. "Any particular reason?"

"A memorial for Otis"

She nodded looking towards Spud as he shifted restlessly, ever since they'd arrived he'd been uneasy, always pacing and never really settling down properly, his hackles going up and then eventually lowering again. "So what'd you high tail it for before?"

Maggie looked up almost startled and then quickly looked away. "You need to talk to my dad"

She inclined her head slightly in confusion and was about to push the subject until she heard the familiar growl of the Bonneville's engine and cast her gaze towards the driveway. "Guess the rest of the convoy's finally arrived," She murmured before looking over at Maggie. "Let me get them up to speed and then I'll come help you out"

 

Neon placed a rock on the pile and murmured a soft Irish prayer before stepping back, Spud settled at her side watching the going's on around him as everyone had their turn at placing a rock on the memorial before Hershel began to read from an old well-worn bible in his hands. "Shane, will you speak for Otis?"

Shane shook his head lightly. "I'm not good at it"

Patricia looked over at him trying to hold back her tears. "You were the last one with him, will you share his final moments? Please? I need to hear, I need to know his death had meaning"

Neon glanced from Spud to Shane wondering how much of the truth he'd tell and how much would be a cock and bullshit story he'd concocted over the course of the night. "We were about done, almost out of ammo, we were down to pistols by then. I was limping, it was bad, ankle all swollen up," He swallowed roughly and looked over at Patricia. " _'We gotta save the boy'_ see, that's what he said, he gave me his backpack and shoved me head, _'Run'_ he said," He looked away from the group. "He said _'I'll take the rear, I'll cover you'_ and when I looked back…" He trained off seemingly unwilling to finish and she shook her head mutely watching him limp towards the wheelbarrow and take a rock placing it on the pile. _I have commend him for his lying abilities, if I hadn't seen the hunting rifle he came back with I might have actually believed that myself._ "If not for Otis, I'd have never made it out alive and that goes for Carl too, It was Otis, he saved us both," Shane looked over at Patricia. "If any death ever had meaning it was his" She turned away shaking her head and scanned over the farm before dispersing with everyone else.

"Hey! Neon!"

She turned at the call of her name and found Daryl; she gave a jerk of her head in greeting. "What?" She frowned softly in annoyance when she saw the look on his face just as he was about to open his mouth. "And if I the next words out of your gob are _'are you okay?'_ I'll kick you in the goolies" She snapped irritably.

He paused, head cocking as he looked at her in confusion. "The what?"

"Goolies, you know, daddy bags, family jewels," She sighed. "Testicles" A faint smile crossed his lips before they twitched slightly as if he was supressing a laugh, this led to her own attempt to suppress a laugh by covering it with mock anger. "Don't start laughin' you daft git, I was halfway serious"

"Anyway, you looked ready to say somethin' back there" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the memorial and she twisted slightly to make sure no one was within earshot of them.

"It was to my understandin' Otis didn't have any other guns than his huntin' rifle so Rick gave him his Python, and from Shane's recounts of last night and just now, Otis gave him his pack and told him to run, he barely had enough time to get out of there," She folded her arms rocking back slightly on her heels giving him a pointed look. "Now, pray do tell, _why_ did Shane come back with Otis' rifle _and_ Rick's Python, especially if he barely had enough time to get out of there by the skin of his fuckin' teeth? _Why_ would he stop and grab two guns to add to his already heavy load that he's carryin' with a dodgy ankle?"

Daryl paused thinking over what she'd just told him and then glanced towards the group still at the memorial. "You sayin' Shane tripped him?"

"I'm sayin' Shane did _somethin'_ to make sure he got out of there and Otis didn't, whether it was trip him, shoot him or somethin' else I'm not sure, but I _know_ in my bloody gut that he did somethin' to Otis to make sure he didn't come back and let's face it, he wouldn't have risked just leavin' him behind," She glanced over at the group that had begun to converge around the wagon. "He did somethin' and he ain't goin' to say shit about it to anyone and if no one else can see it it's 'cause they don't _want_ to see it, they don't _want_ to believe he's capable of somethin' like that"

Daryl looked between her and the group. "You sure about this?"

"Wouldn't have opened my gob if I wasn't," She glanced out the corner of her eye and caught his sceptical look. "Look, you know Rick won't want to believe it 'cause Shane and him are best friends. Lori, well she sure as shit won't want to believe it, I mean, who the hell wants to believe the guy they're shaggin' is a complete nutter? And no one else from the group, other than Glenn, T-Dog, and myself, were here when he came back, and neither of them saw Shane prop that huntin' rifle up against the wall," She jerked her head back towards the house. "I asked Maggie about it and she burst into tears sayin' it belonged to Otis. I know I might be a bit barmy some days but I haven't completely lost the plot yet, it doesn't take a bloody rocket scientist to put two and two together, saighdeoir"

He nodded slowly before motioning towards the group. "Come on, there's only two of us fit to search for Sophia, ain't no way Hershel's lettin' Rick go anywhere, Shane neither, and none of the others can hold their own long enough" She nodded and sighed softly, somehow it was a weight off her mind to have confided in Daryl about her thoughts.

"How long has this girl been lost?"

"This'll be day three," Neon commented as she came to lean against the bonnet of the car with everyone else. "We went along a creek, found a campsite and a church and made our way back down the other side of the creek"

"Here, they're county survey maps," Maggie began unrolling a map out onto the bonnet. "Shows terrain and elevations"

"This is perfect, we can finally get this thing organised" Daryl said as he peered over her shoulder at the maps.

"We'll grid the area, start searching in teams" Rick stated motioning to the map.

"Not you, not today," Hershel put a stop to Rick's idea." You gave three units of blood, you wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out," He turned his attention to Shane. "And your ankle, push it now and you'll be laid up for months"

"Guess it's just me and Neon," Daryl nodded towards her before tapping the map and trailing his finger along it. "I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way up from there"

"We can split it," She tapped the other side of the creek. "You take one side, I'll take the other"

"Sounds good" The conversation drifted into the background as she began to study the map properly.

"I'll drive up to the interstate, see if Sophia wandered back"

"All right, tomorrow then, we'll start doing this right"

"That means we can't have our people out there with just knives, they need the gun training we've been promising them"

"I'd prefer you not carry guns on my property. We've managed so far without turning this into an armed camp"

"All due respect, you get a crowd of those things wandering in here–"

"Actually," She looked up from the map. "Until everyone gets the trainin' it would be for the best, don't want another accident like Carl's and after that mess on the highway everyone's still wound up"

"Are you going to be giving up _your_ guns?" Andrea snipped giving her a glare.

"Belt up," She shot back before placing both guns heavily on the bonnet of the wagon and giving the blonde a pointed look. "And I don't need a gun to be able kill someone. Besides I've got my new trusty friend," She pulled the machete from its sheath and then used the end of it to point at Spud lying stretched out in the grass. "And that bastard will tear into anythin' I point him at"

"First things first, make camp, find Sophia," Rick turned his attention to her and she immediately knew she wasn't going to like the next words out of his mouth. "I'd prefer it if you stayed here to help Lori and the others set up camp, Daryl should be fine by himself"

She arched an eyebrow. "I'm goin' to completely disregard that you just told me to sit on my arse and play house," She slid the machete away to appear less threatening. "And as you pointed out Sophia's been gone goin' on three days now, no one else is fit to go lookin' for her, so explain to me where in your mind it sounds like a good idea for me to stick around camp instead of lookin' for the young'un?" She set her jaw as she waited for an answer before she threw up her hand and rubbed at the bridge of her nose when one took to long to come. "Fine" With that she turned away and started for the 'Am to deposit her guns in the boot with the rest of her arsenal.

"So you not goin' to come with then?"

She glanced over her shoulder as Daryl called out to her. "You heard him, he wants me to be a good little bitch and stay at camp and play house, just don't expect me to set up camp near the rest of you tossers," She groused lighting a cigarette as she checked both her machete and knife before grabbing a box of medical supplies and dividing it out into another box. "Maggie," She called the brunette and handed her the box. "None of this shit is any good to me, don't know what the hell half of it is, you might as well take it"

She nodded taking the box with a smile. "Thanks, dad will probably need it later on"

She snorted softly, a wry smile cracking at her lips. "Well, someone else is bound to get hurt at some point" She slammed the boot shut chewing on the end of her cigarette and headed towards the RV to grab the camping gear.


	23. Chapter 23

"Well… ain't this just the dog's bollocks" Neon snorted as she placed her foot on the edge of the well and peered into it silently before she suddenly burst out into a fit of laughter. "Oh sweet Jesus," She hung her head shaking it as she broke out into another fit of laughter that made her sides ache. "It's got a bloody baby face," She snickered before trying to catch her breath and looked up to find everyone staring at her, wide eyed, as if she'd grown a second head. "What? Does it or does it not look like it has a baby face to you?" She queried pointing at the water logged walker.

Glenn peered into the well at the bloated walker. "So how long has it been down there?"

"Long enough to grow gills" Andrea commented.

Neon racked her brain for a moment. "So anywhere from a few days to a few weeks then"

"We can't leave it in there; god knows what it's doing to the water"

She snorted softly shaking her head. "I've got a bloody ace idea, why don't we just leave it the fuck alone and draw from another well?" She looked over at Maggie. "Maggie, you said this one was for the cows, right?" The girl nodded. "And there're five others on the property, right?" Another nod. "Then why don't we just draw from another?"

"And what about when it gets out?" Shane queried.

"Are you takin' the piss? Fat and bloated down there ain't goin' anywhere anytime soon, won't be able to get a grip on the walls for a start"

"We could put a bullet in it"

She sighed mutely and sat on the edge of the well peering down into the well again. "We put a bullet in it and if it hasn't already contaminated the water it's blood will do the bloody trick and we'll _all_ be walkin' 'round like the great bloated one down there"

"So it's gotta come out alive?"

"Aye, that would be the best bet, but the thing is _how_ do we get it out alive?"

"Rope around its neck?"

"All right, then what? We squeeze it's fuckin' head off and contaminate the well anyway"

"Then what's your big idea?" Andrea snapped jutting her hip out slightly as she folded her arms. "Or are you just going to sit there and pick fault with all of our ideas?"

Neon rolled her eyes. "First, my idea was to leave well enough alone and draw from another bloody well, and second," She snapped giving Andrea an icy glare. "If you want to haul that fat bastard out of there you're goin' to need to get a rope _under_ it's fuckin' arms for a much better grip which would entail either an expert with a rope form up here or lowerin' someone down and hopin' to all hell they don't get bit in the process, and third," She pointed to the walker in the well. "If that thing is goin' to be like what a bloated water logged body is normally like then if it bursts we'd better run like hell 'cause it's gonna stink up a shit storm"

Andrea glared at her for a moment before turning to look at the others. "So what do we do?"

"Well why don't we lower a canned ham in, see what happens? With any luck it'll go for it and we can get a rope around it" Dale suggested before leaving to go and get a canned ham from the RV.

Neon knelt next to the well lowering the canned ham on a piece of rope into it and watched as the walker seemed disinterested. "Come on, oh great fat and bloated one, take the damn bait" She bounced the rope trying to get it interested in the meal. _Wonder if coating it in blood would make it any more appealing._ "Bastard ain't takin' the bait"

"Maybe 'cause a canned ham don't kick and scream when you try to eat it"

"Could be that it ain't bleedin'," She hauled the ham back up and peered back down into the well. "I mean if we chuck a bit of blood on it that fat knacker down there would probably have a field day with it"

"I say we lower someone in there, be easier, then they can just slip the rope around it and we can haul it out"

She peered into the well again and after a brief silence put herself forward for the task. "I'll do it" The look she received was the _'Okay, it's official. You're crazy'_ one.

"You're insane," Andrea peered into the well at the walker and then looked at her again. "Seriously, bat shit crazy"

"Do you see anyone else volunteerin', sweetheart?"

"Glenn's smaller than you," Shane interjected. "He'd be easier to haul up if something goes wrong"

"Goes wrong?" Glenn swallowed roughly peering into the well at the bloated walker.

"Come on, let's get some rope, we can use the pump to help lower him down" Andrea stated as she motioned to the old water pump.

 

"Have a mentioned I really like your new haircut?" Glenn asked Shane as he knotted the makeshift harness around his waist. "You have a nice shaped head"

"Don't worry about it bud, we're gonna get you out of there in one piece"

" _Living_ piece, the living part is important," He exhaled getting ready to go down. "Nice and slow please"

"We got you, don't worry" Neon gave him a reassuring grin and a pat on the shoulder as she gripped the rope.

"Oh, you people are crazy" Maggie paced as she worried.

She glanced back at the girl. "Already well established in my case"

"You want to get it out of your well or not?"

"Give us an eye there, Maggie" Dale motioned to the well as everyone readied themselves, the growls from the walker echoing within the well.

Neon moved carefully, heels of her combat boots digging into the ground as they moved forward lowering Glenn further into the well, an unsettling feeling settling in her guts. She glanced over at Spud, who was watching them with his head resting on his paws, his eyes not leaving the well. A sudden slackness in the rope jerked her forward and threw her balance, everyone attention turned to the, now, broken pump that had been pulled out of the ground. She winced as the rope burnt her palms as it slid through them as she grabbed a hold of it and braced her feet against the edge of the well holding on as tight as she could. She gritted her teeth biting back a cry of pain as she pulled back with all her might, the raw burns were almost on fire now as she grabbed another handful of rope pulling back until she saw the top of Glenn's head. "Shane, you got the rope?"

"Yeah"

As soon as she heard his answer she let go and lurched forward. "Glenn, hand, now!" She grabbed the outstretched hand and braced herself as she pulled him up, both immediately collapsing onto the dry earth, panting harshly. "You okay?" Glenn nodded, chest heaving and body shaking slightly from his close encounter. "BZ, kid" She held out her fist and he knocked his knuckles against hers before she sat up.

"Back to the drawing board"

"Say's you" Glenn stood still panting and handed Dale a length of rope.

She looked down at her hands and swore mutely wiping away the pinpricks of blood to check the damage before looking at Spud as he came to sit in front of her and sniffed at her hands nudging them lightly before licking at them. She sighed softly looking back at the group. "So what now? Grab a car?"

"One of the horses could pull the weight," Maggie suggested. "They'd have better traction on this ground than one of the cars would"

"All right, go grab a pony so we can haul this thing out," Maggie nodded rushing off to grab a horse before returning with a light buckskin gelding. Shane hitched up the rope and gave a nod for Lori and Maggie to help coax the gelding forward.

Neon dug her heels into the ground again and pulled ignoring the pain in her hands, it was only a minute or so before the head of the walker appear above the well, eyes bulging from the rope around it, before it refused to budge any further, a part of it obviously stuck somewhere on the well. She grunted landing flat on her ass as the walker split in two, the bottom half and most of its intestines spilling back into the well. "Oh bollocks" The stench that emitted from it made her choke and she coughed harshly before standing as Spud's hackles went up and he began growling at the other half of the walker as it snapped and tried to roll around and grab at something. "Well that was a gigantic bloody clusterfuck" She muttered shaking her head and wiping at the sweat on her brow.

"We should seal off this well"

"Yeah," Shane rubbed at his head looking down at the walker. "Might be a good idea"

Maggie turned away putting a hand to her mouth ready to be sick as T-Dog slammed a crowbar into the walkers head repeatedly. He looked up at the rest of the group after giving it another heavy whack to ensure it was dead. "Good thing we didn't do anything stupid, like shoot it" He stated dryly before walking away.

Neon sighed hauling herself to her feet and turned away calling Spud after her, her hands still aching with fibres of rope sticking in the deeper weeping burns. "Come on Spud, I want a bite to eat and somethin' to drink" She muttered leaving the rest of the group before heading towards her tent. She'd set up quite a bit further away from everyone else, she'd pick a spot nestled between a group of six trees that were in their own little cluster along the fence line of the paddock behind the camp, close enough to be near if there was trouble but far enough to give her the privacy she so desired, not to mention she'd parked the 'Am close by encase she needed to bug out fast.

She flexed her hands grimacing in pain and looked down at Spud as he looked up with a whine. "Did an ace fuckin' number on myself, huh Spud?" He whimpered nudging her hands before sitting at her feet as she leant against the boot of the 'Am and made an attempt to open the bottle of water she'd fished out of the boot and settled into cleaning the wounds on her hands.


	24. Chapter 24

Neon tugged the blanket around her shoulder's tighter and glanced over at Spud as another soft growl emitted from him, he'd been doing it on and off for a while now. She looked back to the page in front of her and went back to reading, her machete and both guns were within arm's reach if she needed them. She shifted as Spud growled and stood as someone began to unzip the tent, his hackles lowering upon seeing Daryl. "What do you want, saighdeoir?"

He flashed a bottle of whiskey at her with a slightly boyish grin before laying out two shot glasses. "Thought you might want a drink"

She looked at the bottle and then back at her book and then the bottle again before twisting her lips and finally nodding, she could never quite say no to a drink. "All right," She dog eared the page marking it for the future before closing it and putting it to one side. "Be right back" She crawled out of the tent before shifting through the boot of the 'Am and grabbed a few things then headed back to the tent.

"What the hell is this?" Daryl asked shaking the book in his hands.

"It's called a book"

He glared at her dry sarcasm. "I know that, but," He peered at the cover. "What's it about?"

"It's not really about anythin'," She took the book looking down at it. "Okay, I take that back. It's a bunch of short stories by Edgar Allen Poe," She placed the book down beside her makeshift bed again and shifted the solar lamp to sit to one side. "So why aren't you enjoyin' the fine company of everyone else?"

"Why aren't you?" He countered and she shrugged.

"Had enough of everyone for today"

"What happened?" He motioned to the bandages around her hands and she unwrapped them showing him the healing rope burns, she'd managed to clean them off but they still looked raw.

"Shuffler in the well" She began to rebandage her hands as he snorted softly.

"So I missed all the fun, huh?"

A grin cracked at her lips. "If you call listenin' to Glenn screamin' like a babe after he nearly became shuffler-chow fun, then hell yeah you missed all the fun"

He shook his head lightly as he poured the two of them a shot and raised his glass. "Cheers"

"Sláinte," She raised her own glass clinking it against his before they both downed their shots and poured out another. "So, what did you come here for? I mean, I'm a piss poor bastard at the best of times"

"Better than the rest of them"

She chuckled softly downing another shot. "No, I think I'm officially classes as a nutter after offernin' to go down that well"

Daryl stretched out on his side taking the cigarette she offered him. "What makes you think I'm any saner than you?"

She shrugged lighting her cigarette before handing him the lighter and laid out tilting her head back so she could see the night sky out the flap of the tent. "Never said I thought you were sane, you've got to be a bit barmy to jump into bed with me, that bein' said, I'd much rather you watch my six that Andrea or Shane," She looked over at Spud, he still hadn't settled down yet. "I'm liable to get shot by one of them" She watched the dog get up and pace a few steps outside the tent before lying down again.

"What is it?"

"Hmm?" His voice drew her attention back and she motioned to Spud. "Him, there's somethin' he doesn't like about this place and I gotta admit, I feel uneasy as well, like there's somethin' here that no one's talkin' about" She shivered lightly as she sat up, the cold air attacking the area the blanket had slipped from. "I thought it was the shuffler in the well that might have had him so wound up but we killed that one and he still won't settle," She took a drag on her cigarette watching the dog in question. "Common dog tells me to investigate, find out what it is"

"Common what?"

"Common dog," She glanced over at him before it dawned on her that he probably didn't understand, and laughed rubbing at her neck as an embarrassed blush tinted her cheeks. "Sorry, old habits. It's Bootie– Royal Marine, slang," She had to catch herself again. "Means common sense"

"Righ'," He nodded slowly. "Well there's probably walkers all over this place, gotta be at least half the farm covered in bush"

She nodded lightly and glanced over at him as he crawled over to her. "What?"

"I'm cold"

She rolled her eyes opening the blanket letting some of the warmth escape as he settled next to her. "Pansy" She mocked lightly and he poked his tongue out at her tugging the blanket tighter before leaning into her. "Mary mother of Christ!" She swore slapping his arm hard as a frigid hand rested on her torso. "You are a right fuckin' prick, Daryl Dixon"

He grinned tugging her back in close. "Get over here, Neon"

She rolled her eyes again and shifted to lie out flat with her head in his lap before getting comfortable and downed her drink before pouring another. "You think we'll find Sophia?"

He looked down at her from taking a drink from the bottle instead of pouring out another shot. "Hope for Carol's sake we do"

She nodded solemnly closing her eyes trying to fight off tears as her mind began to wander to her own children. "Kinda makes me wonder just how much of a chance my two have, I mean, shit, they've been gone almost ten times longer and I still haven't found any evidence of where they've been or where they're goin'" She opened her eyes as a thumb began to rub against her cheekbone.

"I don't want to hear you talkin' like that, Neon," His voice was firm but the look in his eyes was gentle. "We'll find 'em, Sophia too, and you can both go back to playin' mama to your little girls"

She snorted softly before giving him a weak grin. "My little girl could kick your arse any day of the week, saighdeoir, just remember that"

He laughed handing her the bottle after taking another long pull from it. "With a mama like you, I don't doubt that. Bet she could take on a dozen walkers single handed and come out with nothin' more than a little blood on her shirt"

She gave a soft huff of a laugh before sighing mutely with a small smile. "Aye, sounds like my little girl all right," She turned her face away from him as a tear began to roll down her temple from her eye and quickly whisked it away before taking a long swig from the bottle, the whiskey burning as it ran down her throat and hit her stomach. "I miss them," She murmured before trying to swallow back the tears she'd been so stoically keeping at bay, as she swallowed them back she finally decided to swallow her pride as well. "I'm scared" She made the admittance in a soft, almost inaudible, whisper.

"No need to be scared darlin', I'm righ' here, ain't no big bad walkers goin' to get you"

She choked on a laugh as another tear escaped her eye. "Not what I meant love," She turned to face him again. "I'm not scared for myself, I'm scared for them. I don't know where they are, I don't know what they'll be like when I find them… I don't know if I'm goin' to find both of them and, damn it, I'm scared for Quinn," She sat up and took a long drink from the bottle, knuckles bleached white as she gripped the neck. "I haven't seen or heard word one from him since leavin' Boston, I don't know where he is or if he's even still alive," Her eyes landed on her hand gripping the bottle as it began to shake. "We said we'd meet in Atlanta and he never showed, what the hell am I supposed to make of that?"

Silence fell between them and stretched for a while before she felt the warmth of his body curl around hers, that warmth broke the last of her resolve. All the power, all the strength, all the goddamn bravado she had was suddenly gone and she felt raw, vulnerable, she felt scared and utterly alone. Tears breached her eyes and she covered her mouth to silence the sob that threatened to fall from her lips, her body curled in on itself and began to tremble as she tried to suppress her sadness and fear. She felt his arms tighten around her and suddenly wanted more than anything to feel something other than what she felt at the moment and she knew of only two ways she could do that, one lay in the bottle clutched in her vice like grip, the other lay in the arms of the man currently holding her.

Neon swallowed roughly and swiped harshly at her tears with the back of her hand before curling her fingers through Daryl's and brought his hand up to her lips kissing a faded scar on the heel of his palm. She felt him tense slightly and turned to face him, her lips easily finding his.

"You sure you want to do this, Neon?" He mumbled between the short hard kisses.

"Yes" The answer was brief as she kissed him again before pulling away to zip up the tent and then moved back taking his lips in another kiss, this one more teeth than lip, as she cupped his face and settled herself in his lap.

Rough finger tips touched the bare skin of her torso and instinctively she flinched away from the touch, the muscles continuing to flutter as his fingers stroked over the electrical burn, and she quickly made a move to yank off her hoodie before his hands closed around hers. "Take it easy, Neon. Neither of us is goin' anywhere, no need to rush things" He spoke lowly and from what she could see of his face, his eyes were roaming her's and a near perfect outline of a smirk graced his lips as he met her eye.

She shuddered as his hands slowly unzipped the hoodie and slipped it from her shoulders kissing the skin underneath as he uncovered it before tossing the item of clothing off to one side and began to tug her tank top up. His chapped lips touched her collarbone and teeth scraped along it drawing a soft groan from her as he cast the shirt away, her bra following shortly afterwards before he curled an arm around her waist and buried his face in her chest, teeth grazing over a hardened nipple before lathering it with his tongue and sucking harshly on it. She groaned threading her fingers through his hair and ground her hips against his, the arm curled around her tightened as he groaned against her skin and she tugged his head back kissing him again as she rolled her hips hard against his; he broke their kiss moaning aloud and shuddered underneath her. "I'm sittin' here half starkers, sweetheart," She released her grip on his hair and ran her hands down his neck and shoulders to the front of his shirt and swiftly began to unbutton it. "Gotta rectify that"

Daryl groaned as she rolled her hips against his again and leant back on his palms, his chest heaving under her touch as she ran her hands up his chest and pushed his shirt from his shoulders. Her fingers touched the faded scars scattered across his chest and torso, several smaller ones with some larger ones and a few circular burns, and she touched her lips to them feeling angry at whoever had marred him. She turned her eyes up to find him watching her, curiosity and shame flickered through his gaze before she drew him into another hard kiss and took one of his hands placing it against the burn on her abdomen, she felt him stroke the scarring before moving his hand slowly to snap the button of her jeans and tug them down slightly.

Neon moaned, head dropping against his shoulder as she shuddered as he slipped his hand into her pants and began to rub her clit. "I want you… _now_ " She moaned, hips rolling against his hand as he slid two fingers into her, his thumb circling her clit.

"Hands and knees" He murmured brushing his lips against her ear as he pulled his hand away. She wet her lips and slid off his lap shedding the remainder of her clothing before getting into the position he'd asked for.

A gasping cry left her lips as he slammed into her, their hips connecting in a brief shot of pain, and she shifted feeling his arm snake under her belly tugging her up into a kneeling position, hips rocking against hers as she let her head fall back against his shoulder letting out a long low moan, his chest pressed into her back as his free hand ran along her arm, fingers curling through hers bringing her hand up to her breast. His lips sealed around a piece of flesh at the crook of her neck and he sucked on it occasionally biting before the tip of his nose nuzzled against her ear as their hips rocked against each others. "Make yourself cum, Neon" He breathed against her ear biting at the shell of it as he took her free hand and pressed it between her legs.

She shuddered lightly as he moved her fingers over her clit, body jerking at the slightly rough contact, a breathless groan leaving her throat as his teeth grazed over her ear again. She choked out a cry as he began to thrust his hips up before rocking them shallowly and repeating the process, a panting whine catching in her chest as he thrust his hips up again. "Fuck," She swore, eyes slipping shut as tension built through her muscles and coiled in her gut. "Make me cum, Daryl" He groaned softly burying his face into her neck as he jerked his hips again and she freed her hand leaving his to rub at her breasts before she reached up gripping the back of his head as she twisted to crush her lips to his stifling the scream of pleasure that caught in her throat as the first wave of her orgasm hit her, her body pulsed and breath hitched in her throat as the second wave rolled in.

"Cum for me," He murmured against her skin as he rubbed her clit, hip still thrusting up against hers as he dropped his other arm to her waist keeping her firmly seated there in his lap. "Cum for me" He groaned into her neck, lips grazing her skin as his hips thrust against herself once more before he finally reached his own release, a long low moan rattling in her ears before he placed languid kisses along the top of her shoulder.

Neon shivered as sweat slid down her skin and turned placing a kiss to Daryl's temple before sliding off his lap and almost groaned at the loss of contact. She collapsed onto the makeshift bed and grinned roguishly as she shivered as the sweat began to cool; she glanced over at Daryl as he collapsed beside her and shifted closer. "You're good, saighdeoir, I'll give you that"

"So are you, Neon," He gave her a lazy grin as he threw an arm over her lower back. "Just tell me when you're ready for round two"

She chuckled softly brushing a strand of hair from his face. "Give me about ten minutes" She threw him a wink as she smiled sleepily, her body still quivering and twitching from her recent high, her mind running a mile a minute before slowly starting to slow down. She shifted nestling against him to steal his warmth and groaned softly as Spud shoved his nose into her face. "You _really_ know how to kill the mood, Spud" She muttered before shifting and opening the tent flap allowing him to go out and threw on a pair of underwear and a tank top as she waited for him to come back in before zipping up the tent again.

She crawled back into the bed and felt a smile tug at her lips when she found Daryl already fast asleep, she watched him for a moment and felt her heart briefly stutter in her chest as she carefully studied the content and relaxed look on his face before touching her lips to his forehead in a simple kiss and curling herself into him drawing the blanket over them as she settled into sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

Neon shifted groaning softly and turned nestling her head into the chest that had been pressed against her back before smiling softly as she opened her eyes. She watched Daryl sleep as she cleared the crusted sleep from the corners of her eyes and moved to get up only to feel his grip tighten around her waist. "Come on, saighdeoir, I've gotta take a piss" She murmured wiggling her way out of his grip before grabbing a pair of jeans and slipping them on. She unzipped the tent, letting Spud out, and slipped out after him, the morning sun just beginning to peak over the horizon.

Neon readjusted her jeans and buckled her belt as she stepped out from behind a tree and started back to the tent. "So where're we searchin' today, saighdeoir?" She queried crawling back inside.

Daryl yawned looking up at her from his spot stretched out on the makeshift bed and shrugged lightly. "Dunno, guess good ol' Rick'll want to take over the search," He stated relaxing back with his hands behind his head. "What're _you_ goin' to do if he tells you to play house again?"

She snorted rifling through her a bag to find clean underwear. "Yesterday I was bein' nice, everyone already thinks I'm a loose cannon, I don't need a double tap to the back of my dome when my guard is down," She changed quickly before sitting down to pull on her boots. "If he doesn't want me to go out he can go and explain to Carol why he's stoppin' me from goin' out and lookin' for Sophia," She stretched and rested back on her palms, her eyes falling to Daryl's thin flannel shirt in a heap on the floor, the arms obviously having been ripped off it at some point. _Shit, it's dobhi day today._ She picked up the shirt looking at it before a grin touched her lips. "Might have to nick this off you, love" She glanced up at him as he shoved the blanket away to get dressed himself and she quickly began to rifle through her clothing to find the dirtiest and began to throw it into a pile. She snatched up her cigarette's and slid one between her lips lighting it as soon as she'd finished and gathered the pile. "If you bring me your dobhi… laundry, I'll dump it in the pile with the rest of it" She called over her shoulder as started towards the RV where a few others were beginning to wake up.

"Morning, Neon"

She glanced up at Carol and jerked her head in a greeting. "Mornin'," She bit back a yawn as she dumped the clothing onto the picnic table where Carol was putting her's, Dale's and Andrea's. "How are you this mornin'?"

She smiled weakly smoothing out a shirt. "I'm fine, how about you?"

Neon shrugged. "Can't complain, though Spud was up and down all night"

"Really? Isn't he feeling well?"

"No, not that, it's somethin' about this farm. Somethin' is makin' him antsy and, truth be told, I can feel it too. I learnt a long time ago to trust my instincts and his and there's _definitely_ somethin' about this place he doesn't like"

Carol looked over at Spud before looking around the farm. "Maybe we should have a wander around and see if there're any more walkers stuck in the wells?"

"Aye," She nodded. "We can do that this afternoon after we search for your little girl"

Carol smiled looking up at her. "Thank you," She said softly. "Both you and Daryl–"She paused trying to gather herself. "You're both trying so hard to find her and even when Rick told you to stay behind yesterday–" Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. "Just… thank you"

"You don't have to thank me Carol, I–" She hesitated, hands clenching around the shirt in them. "I've got two kids of my own, I know how you feel right now"

Carol looked up at her wind eyed. "You've got children?"

She nodded digging out the photo and handed it to her. "Boy and girl, seventeen and eight" She took the photo back as Carol handed it to her.

"Are they who you were trying to find in Atlanta?"

She nodded. "Their father lived there with whatever slag he'd decided to hook up with recently, they were down visitin' for the week and half way through that week…" A soft self-depreciating huff of a laugh slipped from her lips. "Well, the world decided to take the piss, didn't it?" There was silence for a moment before she decided to shift gears. "Anyway, you want to go draw up some water so we can get this lot started?" Carol nodded before hurrying off to draw some water for the laundry.

 

"Morning guys, let's get this going, we've got a lot of ground to cover," Rick called everyone over to the wagon as he laid out a map on its hood. "All right, everyone's getting new search grids today," He motioned to the map. "If she's made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found she might have gone further east than we've been so far"

"I'd like to help," The group turned to see Jimmy cautiously making his way over. "I know the area pretty well and stuff"

"Hershel's okay with this?"

"Yeah, yeah," His eyes moved off Rick's as Neon's lips curved into a smirk, she knew a half-hearted lie when she heard one. "He said I should ask you"

"Alright then, thanks"

"Nothin' 'bout what Daryl found screams Sophia to me, anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse"

"Aye, anyone includes Sophia, don't it?"

"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high" Daryl stated motioning to a small child like size.

"It's a good lead"

"Maybe we'll pick her trail up again"

Daryl nodded tapping the map. "No maybe about it, I'm goin' to borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, get a bird's eye view of the whole grid, if she's up there I'll spot her"

"Good idea," T-Dog tapped the map. "Maybe you'll see you're Chupacabra up there too"

"Chupacabra?"

She grinned softly. "Really?" She looked to Daryl for confirmation and received a short jerk of his head.

"You never heard this?" Dale asked. "Our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a Chupacabra" Jimmy began laughing.

"What're you brayin' at jackass?" Daryl snapped at the boy.

"So you believe in a blood sucking dog?"

"Do you believe dead people are walkin' around?"

She grinned softly shaking her head. "Spud and I will start in this area here and head north east," She tapped a spot on the map. "Should take us a few hours and then we'll come back and check in before movin' into this area" She motioned to another area of the map.

Rick nodded. "Alright," He looked to Jimmy as he went to grab the shotgun off the hood of the wagon. "Hey, hey, ever fire one before?"

"Well if I'm going out I want one"

"Yeah and people in hell want Slurpee's" Daryl stated hoisting his crossbow up as he turned away from the group and walked off.

 

Neon trudged towards the house, walking was killing her feet and since there was a barn full of horses and she had a whole other quadrant to search, she'd figured she'd make her job just that bit easier and search on horseback. "Maggie," She caught the elder Greene girl just before she headed towards the chicken coop. "Is your Da around?"

"He's inside checkin' on Carl"

She gave a nod of thanks giving Spud the command to stay as she climbed the stairs to the house and kicked off her filthy boots before stepping inside, she glanced around for a moment before finding Hershel in the kitchen washing his hands. "Hershel, I was wonderin' if I could I have chin wag with you for a moment"

He turned as he tried his hands with a tea towel and nodded. "What is it?"

"Just wanted to ask if I could borrow one of your ponies, please?"

He gave her a once over with a critical gaze before nodding slowly. "All right," He motioned for her to follow him. "I would have said no, one of your group already took one of my horses out without asking but since you were polite enough to ask, I don't see why not"

She grinned in embarrassment as she rubbed at the back of her neck. "My da, god rest his soul, brought me up to be polite, the one and old time I disrespected him I got a rap across the knuckles with his shillelagh," She laughed softly rubbing her knuckles out of instinct, at the time it had hurt like a son of a bitch. "I never disrespected him after that and he'd be rollin' in his grave if I didn't use my manners every once in a while," She cast her gaze around the farm as they walked towards the barn. "Even if the world as gone to the dogs"

"I'll let you take Pat," Hershel motioned to a chestnut gelding with a slightly swayed back and a narrow face. "He's calm, quiet, not a thing would faze him"

She nodded before feeling a tug on the back of her shirt and glanced over her shoulder to find a black mustang straining against his stall door. "Who's this?"

"This is Jake," Hershel stroked the length of the stallion's face. "He's a good horse, calm in the right hands and cheeky in the inexperienced ones"

She nodded stroking Jake's neck, his nose pressing into her torso as he blew softly through his nostrils giving a gentle whicker. "I grew up ridin' a stroppy old chestnut Irish draught," She smiled remembering Lucy. "She used to bite and kick at everyone, until she bit the farrier one day and he socked her in the gob, never bit anyone after that"

"He seems to like you"

She smiled scratching the horses ear. "Aye, you're a smart lookin' fella, ain't you?"

"Tell you what, why don't you take him out, he hasn't had nearly enough exercise recently"

"Cheers," She scratched under Jake's forelock before she remembered Maggie had said she should talk to Hershel about her brother. "I've been meanin' to ask," She turned to look at Hershel as he started to walk away. "Maggie said I should come talk to you but what with the well and everythin' it slipped my mind," She felt the stallion nibble on the hem of her shirt and pushed his face away slightly. "She clammed up when I mentioned my brother," She watched him with a hawk gaze for a reaction. "Has there been someone that looks like me come through here? Male, brunette, grey eyes," She turned her arm to show him the tattoo of the family crest. "Same tat"

Hershel looked at the tattoo and then nodded. "You must be the sister he said he was looking for"

"Aye," Her heart lurched in her chest and a smile wound its way to her lips. "How far ahead is he?"

"He left the morning young Carl was shot," Hershel frowned softly. "He said his sister had children"

"I do, currently they're MIA," She looked back at Jake as he tugged on the back of her shirt. "Which way did he go?"

"Towards the town, he wanted to get supplies before he moved on"

A broad grin slip to her lips as she patted Jake's neck. "Sorry bud, but our ride will have to wait, I need to go see if my baby brother is still in town," She looked up at Hershel. "How far is it to the town?"

"Not far, about a mile or so, just turn right out of the main gates"

She nodded and gave a whistle to Spud before rushing out of the stables and sprinting towards the 'Am, she skidded to a halt throwing open the door and threw her things onto the dash as she grabbed her keys and slid them into the ignition before pulling away from the campsite and put her foot to the floor. _For the love of god, Quinn. You'd better still be in that goddamn down. I'm not losing everyone I care about._


	26. Chapter 26

Neon surveyed the streets of the small town from the safety of her driver's seat, all she'd seen so far were a few dead walkers; nothing else was moving. She grabbed her machete and guns from the dash slipping them into their holsters as she stepped out of the 'Am and scanned the vacant street. She lowered her breathing almost silencing it until she picked up the vicious moans and growls of a group of walkers, wherever they were they were riled up and fighting something… or someone.

She pressed herself against the corner of a building before peering around it and glanced towards Spud as he put his head down and hackles high leading her carefully to the walkers. She knelt beside a dumpster at the end of the short alley and began to investigate the street before seeing one person fighting off a group of walkers with a hunting knife in one hand and a machete in the other. She grinned softly and shook her head giving Spud the go ahead to go and help out before drawing her machete and running head first into the fray.

The first walker went down missing half its face and a good chunk of its brain, the second lost its head completely as she zigzagged her way towards the person, as she drew closer to them it was becoming harder to mistake the tall, athletically built man for anyone else than her brother. His shaggy brunette hair had been cropped shorter out of his face and a few days' worth of stubble shadowed his face but the one thing that confirmed it was the shade of his eyes, the same gun metal grey as her own.

She swung hard at the walker trying to sneak up behind him and grinned. "I always gotta watch your back, baby brother? Thought you were smarter than this" She clucked her tongue at him as she came to rest back to back with him.

"Ray?" His voice cracked an octave higher. "Jesus! I've fuckin' missed you lass"

"Aye, and I you"

He grinned kicking out at one of the walkers before ramming a blade into its skull through its empty eye socket. "We're goin' to have to find a fuckin' pub or somethin' after this, have a well-deserved bloody drink"

She laughed swinging her machete at another walker, its head slicing in two. "I doubt they serve Guinness in this town, brother"

He gave a barking laugh and rammed his blade into another walker, shoving it away with a hard push. "Fuckin' shufflers, wish they'd bloody stay dead"

"Shit happens and you can't do shit about it," She stated. "Just go with the flow and don't get bit" She grunted softly feeling the muscle in her arm twinge as she slammed the blade of her machete down into another walkers face splitting it vertically and exhaled wrenching the blade free. "Is that the last of them?"

"Aye, I think so for now"

Neon grinned throwing her arms around Quinn's neck jumping on his hugging him tightly as he spun her around. "You had me bloody worried sick, you daft twat, fuckin' runnin' off like that," She groused and wrestled him into a headlock. "Bloody muppet"

"Jesus! Fuck!" He swore struggling to get out of the headlock. "Let me go Ray, let me go"

She rolled her eyes releasing him. "Baby" She mocked him lightly as she pouted. "Always gotta ruin my fun"

He rolled his eyes. "You'll get over it sis," He drew her into another hug spinning her around again as he grinned like an idiot. "Now, where the hell're my niece and nephew?"

She swallows harshly and looked away as she backed up a step. "I don't know"

His smile faded instantly. "What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean I don't bloody know, Quinn," She stressed running a hand through her hair pushing it away from her face. "I haven't found them yet"

"Shit," He swore grabbing her by the shoulders to look her in the eye. "Were they in Atlanta?"

She shook her head. "No, I went through that entire city; I didn't find them"

"You think Clayton got them out before the city fell?"

"I don't know," She felt tears begin to well in her eyes and cloud her vision. "I just don't fuckin' know, Quinn," She sighed leaning back against a car before sliding down the door and placed her wrist on the top of her knee before looking up at him. "I mean, I _know_ Clayton, he would have cut and ran at the first opportunity he could, he wouldn't have given a damn about my kids," She took a shaky breath trying to keep the tears at bay, she was sick of crying, she hated it. "I'm fuckin' dyin' here, Quinn, I don't know where the hell they are or if they're even safe, I– Fuck!" She cried out in anger. "They're my babies Quinn, my bloody babies and I don't even know where they are, what sort of mother am I if I can't fuckin' protect them?" All the stress and all the anger that she'd been bottling suddenly came rushing out, her fist snapped out and slammed against the metal of the car behind her.

"Hey now, stow that shit Ray, we'll find them," Quinn hauled her to her feet and drew her into a tight hug. "And they'll be fine, shit, they survived havin' Clayton as a fuckin' father and I _know_ you ain't gonna let a couple of cities or a couple of states or even a couple of thousand, or even a hundred thousand, shufflers keep you from Con and Amelia"

She exhaled pushing away from him. "Aye, you're fuckin' right there boyo, I'm not lettin' anythin' stop me from findin' them"

He nodded and then grinned. "Now, where the fuck've you been holed up?"

She couldn't help but start laughing. "That fuckin' farm you breezed through," She shook her head as more laughter bubbled up from the pit of her guts. "If you'd held on a few fuckin' hours we would have been there"

" _'We'_?"

"Aye, I'm travellin' with a group, there's not very many of us, only about ten," She shook her head lightly. "Lookin' for a lost wee one, lass by the name of Sophia"

"Aye," He nodded lightly keeping an arm hooked around her shoulders as they started towards one of the stores. "Still got Kitt?"

She chuckled and nodded. "The 'Am's still runnin' like a beaut'"

He grinned as they did a sweep of the store before grabbing a basket and began to pile it with whatever was left on the shelves. "So are we goin' to keep goin' or am I followin' you back to that farm?"

She twisted her lips looking away and stayed silently for a moment pretending to survey something on the shelf. "Guess you're comin' back with me, dear little brother"

Quinn gave a nod. "So who's in this group you're travellin' with that's got you wantin' to stay?"

She rolled her eyes, damn him and his perception. "What makes you think I'm stayin' with them because of someone?"

"Because I know you Ray–"

"It's Neon"

"Neon?" He began laughing. "What the fuck kind of name is that?"

She couldn't resist the smile that crept to her lips. "It's the name of the members of that group gave me"

He burst out laughing again and clutched as his stomach as he doubled over. "Jesus! It's a bloody guy, ain't it? So come on, _Neon_ ," He emphasised the nickname grinning broadly. "Spill, who is he and am I goin' to have to kick his teeth in if he gets out of line?"

She rolled her eyes shaking her head lightly. "Daryl Dixon, and he's really quite a sweet man… under the dirty redneck exterior"

Quinn began laughing again until she tossed a can at him over her shoulder. "Ow! Watch it Ray, you could have hurt me with that"

"That was my entire intention," She stated dryly not bothering to turn around and look at him. "And besides, that redneck is a crossbow wieldin' badarse that will probably kick _your_ arse before you even get close to him," She jerked her head towards Spud. "And there's always him, he never strays to far from my side"

He looked down at the dog. "I was just about to ask about that, do me a favour and get him to stop eyeballin' me"

She laughed turning to the pitbull. "Spud, this is my baby brother, Quinn," Quinn glared at her muttering under his breath about being only fifteen minutes younger. "He's family, so there's no need to give him that look of death thing you do," She patted his head grinning and stood looking at her brother. "Come on, the 'Am's parked next street over, we'd best get back before they send out a fuckin' search and rescue party"

"What? Why the hell would they be doin' that?"

She gave an impish grin. "'Cause I kind of just took off like a bat out of hell when Hershel told me about you" She rubbed at the back of her neck before the two of them burst out laughing.

 

Neon pulled up the driveway to the farmhouse and pulled off towards her tent before slipping out of her 'Am and let Spud out.

"Why so far from civilization?" Quinn queried inclining his head towards the rest of the camp.

"Because civilization is noisy as fuck when you want some privacy and quiet" He gave a soft chuckle and nodded as she groaned as she saw Shane and Rick approaching them.

"Where the hell did you go?" Shane snapped at her, a glare directed towards Quinn as soon as they got close. "And who the fuck is he?"

"Belt up and sod off" She snarled clenching her jaw. "As for who he is," She jerked her head towards Quinn. "Take a gander at the two of us and have a wild guess," She glared at Shane, she was fast coming to the end of her tether with him. "Hershel said he left the mornin' Carl was shot, I had to stop him from leavin' town"

"So what? You thought it was a good idea to just up and leave? Not tell anyone where you were going?"

"Aye, I did. It was my fuckin' call, not yours and not his," She jerked her head towards Rick. "Now piss off out of it and let me be fuckin' happy I found my brother alive and not one of those fuckin' shufflers," She growled clenching her fingers into a fist, every muscle in her body was wound tight and ready to snap. "I'm givin' you one chance, either back off and walk away or stay here, but you take another step and I'm goin' to give you the bollockin' of a life time"

Rick took a step back giving her breathing room. "All right, let's just calm do–"

"No! No we're not going to calm down, she'd got responsibilities to this group, she can't just go and fuck off whenever she wants too, I'm sick of this shit, you're letting her get away with whatever she wants"

"You want to talk about responsibilities? Go climb up Andrea's arse about pullin' her weight, she's the one that keeps skivin' off from the camp duties" Her patience was at breaking point, any longer and the two of them would be rolling around on the ground beating the crap out of each other.

"Ray–"

"Belt up" She snapped viciously at Quinn and he stepped back, he knew when it was a bad time to pick a fight with her and this one was of those times.

"You're a loose cannon," Shane snarled. "Fucking _psychotic_ "

"And I'm not even at my worst yet" She spat, the corner of her eye trained on the shotgun in his hands; the last thing she wanted was to risk getting shot. The minute the barrel made a twitch in her direction her hand snapped out grabbing it and pushing it away to the side, ensuring it stayed away from her, she slammed the heel of her open palm into the hand holding the stock with a quick, hard jab before a sharp tug jerked the gun from his weakened grip and she tossed it off to the side out of both of their reaches; her movements were fluid and fast, she'd done this type of dance a million times before with people that were far better trained. She leant backwards out of the range of the swing Shane took at her and quickly settled into her old hand to hand stance, her fists up, feet spaced decently to give her stability, and body turned to make her profile smaller with her stronger side facing Shane. The next hit smacked dully against her left forearm as she brought it up to shield her face, another punch thrown smacked against her right as she effectively blocked and dodged each hit biding her time to strike. When she saw her opening she took it, and grabbed his wrist pushing it off to the side as she delivered a heavy stamping kick to the side of his knee and within seconds had him face down on the ground, her knee pinning his twisted right hand into the middle of his spine, one hand grasping the back of his neck holding him still while the other dug into his left elbow to keep the joint locked in place. One wrong move now on his behalf and she would snap his left elbow joint in the wrong direction and render the limb useless. "Next time you surmise to take a fuckin' swing at me I will snap your neck without hesitation"

"Ray" Quinn's voice from her right reminded her that both he and Rick were still there, and she glanced back at him before pushing her knee heavily into Shane's spine as she stood before levelling Rick with a cold glare.

"I told you back in Atlanta, I'm done with takin' shit from him" She turned away and started for the house.

"Wait up!" Her brother called jogging after her and forced her to stop. "What the hell was that about?"

"Just bad blood, Quinn," She glanced over her shoulder at Shane being helped up by Rick. " _Really_ bad blood"

He sighed falling into step with her as they started for the house again, he knew he wouldn't get a better explanation from her. Both kicked off their boots before entering the house and stepped into the living room. "I trust that was a onetime thing" Hershel's voice rang out from the right, he'd been watching through the window.

"Sorry," She hung her head slightly. "My temper got the better of me and there's just too much bad blood between us"

Hershel nodded before running an eye over both of them. "Good to see you're both back in one piece"

"We managed to scavenge some petrol for your jenny while we were in town"

"Thank you both, I'm sure we'll be needing it at some point"

"No doubt" She gave a strained laugh before a gunshot rang out through the air, her stomach dropped and she sprinted out the door with Quinn and Hershel in tow, something in her gut told her she wasn't going to like what had just happened.


	27. Chapter 27

Daryl woke and glanced around the room wearily before his eyes landed on Neon and he felt a strange warmth spread through his chest, she was sitting cross legged in a chair next to the bed, her cheek resting on her fist with a book in her lap. He closed his eyes again for a second to listen to her soft singing as he got comfortable again; the tune she carried was soft, melodious, with a slight Irish inflection to it. He shifted on the bed and heard her pause in her singing before she resumed it, the tune somehow happier than he thought it would have been with all the worry and stress on her shoulders, it was as if at least one of her burdens had been lifted.

He shuddered lightly as a cool chill that swept over the room and felt the back of a warm hand rest against his cheek and then his forehead before resting on his bare shoulder, the sheet over him was carefully dragged up a bit further, her fingers smoothed over his hair, brushing it back from his face, and lingered for a moment before she settled down again, the chair creaking under her weight as she shifted getting comfortable once more. A sudden jealous spike hit him at how lucky both her children were to have a mother like her, she was devoted and cared enough to search through hell to find them, to sing to them and tuck them in, to chase away all the bad people and scary shadows in the night, they had something he'd never truly had, someone who loved them.

He shook off his feeling of jealousy and cracked an eye open only a sliver to find she'd resumed her previous position in the chair, book in hand as she multitasked. He watched as she wet the tip of her finger flipping over to another page before resuming reading, eyes moving over the page with no heed to her surroundings, only her singing and the book in her lap. He closed his eyes again relaxing against the bed, his side still aching dully from the arrow that had lodged in it during his tumble down the embankment after the horse had thrown him, he could still hear Merle's words echoing in his head and anger flared through his veins at the mirages blatant lies, he'd said she'd never care about him like he did, that none of them would but she was there right now, sitting in a chair beside him keeping him company, she wouldn't be there if she didn't care, just by being there she was proving everything his brother had said was a lie.

When her singing tapered off into humming and finally into silence he waited silently to see if she'd resume singing again, when she didn't he frowned softly and finally decided to speak up. "Don't stop" He cracked an eye open and found her looking a bit startled, her lips slowly curving into a small embarrassed smile.

"So how long have you been awake then?"

He shrugged. "Long enough to know your kids are lucky"

She laughed softly unfolding her legs and straightened up before leaning forward in the chair, hands clasped together in front of her as she leant her elbows on her knees. "I've got a good piece of news"

He arched an eyebrow groaning softly as he moved on the bed. "Yeah?"

"Aye," She confirmed with a nod. "Quinn's downstairs eatin' dinner with everyone else"

His brow jumped. "Your brother?"

She nodded smiling brightly. "Hershel told me he'd left the mornin' Carl got shot, so me bein' me drove like a nutter into town and found him fendin' off shufflers"

He couldn't help but grin. "Bet everyone was _really_ happy when you just took off, huh?"

An aggravated frown shadowed her face and he immediately worried something had happened. "Aye, Shane and I got into a row and had it out when I got back"

"What?" He shifted in alarm, pain searing up his side from his injury, he knew it had been brewing ever since they'd met but he didn't think it would seriously boil over between the two of them.

"Yeah," She rubbed at the back of her head looking off to one side. "He had a shotgun in his hands and I kind of, you know, I just reacted when it moved in my direction," She showed him the sides of her forearms, bruises beginning to darken on them. "He's got a pretty ace right hook on him"

"Fuckin' prick"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Done is done, there's too much bad blood to bother tryin' to be friendly and, besides, he's not worth my time nor effort" She dismissed the event and then grinned softly before motioning to his head. "So how's your head?"

"Killin' me"

"Bet it is, gettin' lanced across the temple by a three oh eight tends to do that do you," She settled back in the chair. "Just thank Christ Andrea doesn't have a better aim, little more to the left and she'd have taken out your eye"

"Suppose I should be thankful it wasn't you on duty then"

She gave him a wry smile. "You really think I would have made the same mistake she did?" She shook her head before laughing softly. "Did have a few choice words for her when I found out what happened, not that I can _really_ blame her for mistakin' you for a shuffler, I mean, shit love, you were covered in blood and sportin' a string of fuckin' ears when you came back"

"Yeah, where the fuck are they?"

"My tent, Rick didn't want Hershel to see them" She shifted in the chair and gave him a lopsided grin. "Could never guess _why_ he wouldn't want him to see them" She looked up as the door opened.

"Thought both of you could do with some dinner" Carol smiled as she entered and placed a tray down on the side table before Neon stood stretching and reached over the bed taking the other from her from with soft word of thanks, Carol nodded before turning to look at him. "How are you feeling?"

He tugged the sheet up higher trying to cover the gauze over his side from her sight and to hide the scarring across his back. "'bout as good as I look" She smiled lightly before leaning over the bed placing a light kiss to his wounded temple. "Watch out, I got stitches" He groused softly, the stony exterior he usually hid behind coming back up, he wasn't used to having people care enough about him to actually do things for him, to bring him food or even stay with him while he was injured.

He glanced over at Neon as she cleared her throat and placed her tray down quietly. "I'll be right back," She stated as she stood. "Gotta see a man about a dog" He watched her exit the room leaving them alone and shook his head slightly; he still couldn't wrap his head around the way she spoke.

"You need to know something" Carol drew his attention back to her. "You did more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did his whole life"

He turned away slightly trying to escape the uncomfortable feeling crawling up his spine. "I didn't do anything Rick or Shane wouldn't have done" He murmured brushing off her words.

"I know, you're every bit as good as them, every bit" She left quietly and pulled the door shut leaving him to huddle under the thin sheet before the door opened again and Neon slipped back in and settled back down in the chair.

"All good?"

"Aye," She nodded folding her legs again and picked up her tray placing it in her lap. "You all right to get up by yourself, saighdeoir?"

"Fine" He said as he struggled to sit up against the headboard but eventually managed it, she gave a nod and a soft shrug as they lapsed into silence to eat. The silence gave him time to think and in that time he began to silently watch Neon, she was quick when eating, almost half finished already.

"Somethin' wrong with how I'm eatin'?"

Her question startled him from his thinking and he blurted out the question that was burning in his mind. "Why are you here?"

"Care to elaborate on what you mean?"

"Why are you here, now, with me? You could be downstairs with everyone else, with your brother, but you're sittin' up here with me"

She stopped cutting her piece of steak, a look of surprise crossing her features before fading as she looked up at him; she seemed to be at a loss for an answer. She looked back down at her plate before placing her knife and fork down and looking back up at him. "Quinn and I can spend all night catchin' up over a bottle of whiskey, but I could have lost you today…" She spoke quietly, looking unsure of herself for a moment, a look, he noted, that didn't suit her well. "Was I not supposed too?"

"I…" He trailed off into silence unsure of what to say in response, unsure of what answer he wanted to hear from her.

"Look, it– it's difficult to explain why I do half the things I do, I just do them because that's what instinct tells me is right, you know?" She filled his silence after a moment. "Do you want me to go?"

"No" He felt an embarrassed blush crawl across his cheeks; he hadn't meant to be so quick with his answer, and couldn't understand why a sudden sense of panic had swept up his spine. "…Stay"

She looked surprised for a moment but agreed to his request with a small nod before both resumed eating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I've said this recently but hello and welcome to all everyone following this story.
> 
> I did mean to have this up on Saturday but when I first wrote this chap (which was a while ago) I was fine with it but when I came to post it I couldn't, I didn't like it so I reworked it (I might have to do this with the next one or two as well since I'm not completely happy with them, it's just little bits and pieces that need changing). Good news is that I'm half way through the next installment (Hellhound), only bad thing about it is that I've got some bits from the beginning, some from the middle, and some from the end done, now I just need to do the bits in between to link them all together and then polish it so it flows properly (because for some reason I can't just write A,B,C it ends up going A,P,Q,Z,D etc, and as a head's up you're going to join me on a rollercoaster of emotion in Hellhound).
> 
> If you're interested in which song Neon was singing it's Fairmount Hill by Dropkick Murphy's.


	28. Chapter 28

Neon stretched pushing herself into a sitting position on the tray of Quinn's pickup and watched the small metallic blue ladybird on the back of her hand before she looked up at her brother as he nudged her foot. "What?"

He grinned at her. "Hershel's got horses"

"Thank you for that observation, captain obvious" She drawled dryly with a roll of her eyes.

He rolled his eyes at her leaning back against the side of his pickup. "Think he'd let us borrow two so we can race?"

She grinned softly moving the ladybird onto her other hand. "We settled that pissin' match years ago, I'm the better rider"

He laughed snorting softly. "Cheeky sod, I'll believe it when I see it"

She smirked. "You're on brother," A grin swept across her lips as she looked up at him again. "So what're we bettin'?"

"Well, I got somethin' you might enjoy" He unzipped a bag next to him and pulled out a glass jar before throwing it to her.

She turned it over in her hand before grinning broadly and quickly opened the jar of thick brown liquid taking a deep breath of the familiar scent and sighed contently. "Where the hell you find molasses?"

"In a little store on my travels" He responded vaguely.

"Bullshit, you nicked it off some poor blighter, didn't you?" The two of them shared a laugh.

"Neon, Quinn," She moved her eyes over to Rick as he approached the pickup, since her fight with Shane he, and almost everyone else, had kept their distance from her. "Are you going to join us for target practice? Shane and I are going to round up everyone, take them out and teach them how to properly handle a gun"

"I'm not wastin' bullet's shootin' at glass bottles and tin cans, I'd prefer to use them on shufflers instead," She watched the ladybird on her hand crawl down her fingers before turning and going back up. "I've spent more than enough time around my rifle to know her inside and out" She cast a glare at her brother as he gave a loud laugh.

"What about you, Quinn?"

"I've had plenty of trainin'; I used to kill the wild animals that tried to pinch our Da's sheep"

"While you're off with everyone, Quinn and I will go wander through the woods again and look for Sophia, we'll see if we can borrow some horses and head up towards the river"

"All right, just be back before sundown"

She gave a small, slightly sarcastic, salute before looking at her brother as the ladybird flew off. "Come on, Quinn. We've got to go see a man about a couple of horses" She jumped off the pickups tray and started for the farmhouse kicking off her boots before stepping inside. "Hershel?"

The elder man looked up from the book he was reading at the table. "What is it?"

"We were wonderin' if you wouldn't mind lettin' us borrow a couple of your horses? Quinn and I don't need target practice so we're gonna kick up the search for Sophia"

"Take Jake and Pat"

She grinned. "Thank you," She turned to head back out but stopped and turned back. "I was also wonderin', that old barn, think I could set up some target's on the side? I wanted to have another crack with saighdeoir's crossbow"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't," He shut down the idea immediately. "I'd prefer it if you all stayed away from that barn"

She found it confusing but most of all she found it suspicious that he didn't want them near the barn, but nodded a confirmation, it was his land after all. "All right, can I set up on some tree's out by the lake, then?" He nodded giving his consent before going back to his book as they exited the house. Neon looked towards the barn before looking to Glenn as he approached the house.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothin'," She murmured looking back towards the barn again. "Curiosity killed the cat, curiosity killed the cat," She repeated the mantra once more before sighing in aggravation and turning her full attention on the old barn. "But I'm not a fuckin' cat"

"Huh?"

Her head snapped to Glenn before she jerked her head towards the barn. "The barn, I wanted to set up some targets on it but Hershel seemed pretty dead set about no one goin' near it"

The boy gave a nervous laugh. "Ye-yeah, funny that"

She narrowed her eyes at him, eyeing him suspiciously. "All right short and brainy, spit it out, what's he hidin' in there?"

His eyes went wide before he motioned for them to walk with him away from the house and kept glancing back it until they were well away from it before he lowered his voice and spoke. "The barn's full of walkers"

She stopped cold before beginning to laugh. "Oh sweet Jesus," She doubled over laughing, her sides beginning to ache. "Mary mother of Christ, this is just fuckin' _ace_ "

"What? What's so funny?"

"Nothin' really, just that there's a barn full of walkers down there and the only thing standin' between us and them is a scrap of wire fencin' and some rottin' wood," She began to laugh again and wiped at her eyes. "Now, if you'll both excuse me, I'm goin' to go pack my shit and bug out"

"Are you serious?"

She looked towards Glenn as he stared at her wide eyed and then jerked her thumb towards the barn. "That thing is a bloody tickin' time bomb and when the othes find out, 'cause they will 'cause nothin' stays secret very long 'round here, all hell will break loose and tempers will make people go off the deep end and then Hershel will kick us off the farm for good"

"Then what do we do? I mean, I'm really bad at lying, like _really_ bad, I'm going to have to tell someone"

She sighed finally recovering herself. "I'll make you a deal, Glenn. Either _you_ tell the group or _I_ do, it's simple, you've got a day to decide and if you haven't told them by breakfast tomorrow then I'll do it," He nodded quickly hurrying back to Dale and the RV as she turned back to Quinn. "So, let's go see who's gettin' that jar of molasses then, brother"

"You fine just leavin' it at that?"

"'Course not, but so far that things not done us any harm, we can survive another night sleepin' next to it"

Quinn eyed the barn wearily before giving a nod. "If you say so"

"Worried?" She queried as she turned on her heel and started for the stables.

"Aren't you?"

"Definitely. One, I don't know how many of the bloody things are in there, two, that barn is _definitely_ not built like a brick shithouse, and three, if Shane finds out about what's in that barn all hell is goin' to break loose"

"Yeah, well so long as the two of you don't start a round of fisticuffs again" Her brother shook his head as he huffed out a sigh. "What is it with you and jacked up arseholes? Just love puttin' them in their place or what?"

She laughed softly as she began to tack Jake. "Pretty sure you asked me that last time I got into it with some tosser," She adjusted the saddle on Jake's back before beginning to tighten its girth. "Next time I'm not goin' to bother goin' three rounds with him, I'm just goin' to put a round through his left eye"

"Not funny, Ray"

"When have you ever known me to joke about killin' someone?" She cast her brother a pointed look as she hoisted herself into Jake's saddle and shifted slightly getting comfortable before nudging him out the doors, her eye met Daryl's as he slipped out of his tent and headed towards them. "Hello, love"

"Where're you two goin'?"

"Wander in the woods, we're gonna pick up the trail where you left off… plus we have a wager to settle"

That seemed to pique his curiosity. "Wager?"

"Aye, we're goin' to settle who the better rider is once and for all, jar of molasses is ridin' on it," Quinn threw her a roguish grin. "Which is goin' to be mine since I'm goin' to win"

"Oh you wish you cheeky little sod, you bloody wish," She grinned relaxing in the saddle as she stroked Jake's neck. "You look like you could do with some more sleep, love"

"Nah, I'm fine"

She shook her head and leant down gripping his chin and tilting his face up as she grinned softly. "Get some rest, 'cause if you don't you ain't welcome in my tent anymore" She pecked his lips as his cheeks flushed slightly.

"Fine"

She nodded before ruffling his hair and smiling brightly as she nudged the stallion into a walk. "We'll be back sooner or later" She called over her shoulder kicking the horse into a trot before heading down the driveway and through one of the gates.

"So where're we racin'?"

She shrugged at her brother's question. "We'll search for a while first, by the time we get back I'll have thought up a course"

 

Neon left out a laugh and shook her head as she glanced over at Quinn. "What about the O'Malley's? Those two boys were a right crack up, always pullin' pranks of Mister Calloway, never stopped even after he caught them rearrangin' his flower beds"

Quinn tipped his head back as he laughed aloud. "Aye… shite, what were their names again?"

"Sean and Padraic," She reminded him with a soft grin. "Remember, I took Paddy to that dance Da made us go too"

"Aye, that was the night you didn't come home 'til dawn and Da gave you a damn good whack across the knuckles with his shillelagh, yellin' about how he could smell the booze and fag's on you"

She started to laugh again remembering the night well. "I couldn't have been more thankful he couldn't smell what else we'd been doin'"

"Jesus Ray! I didn't need to know that," He cried out in mock disgust. "But I'll tell you what, that Duncan lass, what's-her-name? Aisling? Boy could she twist her tongue into the corners of your gob"

"Aye, I know she could" She grinned ducking low under a branch before they came to an open field, the road running along one side with several trees clustered in the centre. "All right, little brother," She pointed towards the trees. "We'll race from here to those trees, make a sharp right and head to the next lot before racin' back here before we head back"

Quinn nodded gathering his reins. "On the count of three…" He grinned. "Three!" He yelled spurring the chestnut gelding on with a quick jab of his heels.

"Hey, you bastard!" She cried out before gathering her own reins and spurring Jake on with a quick nudge of her heels. They closed the gap with ease, Jake's legs chewing up the ground between them as they rounded the trees. "Quinn," She motioned to the walker ambling towards them. "Twenty points if you can hit it" She called out grabbing her machete and readied it.

Both blade's struck at the same time, its head severing from its body and sent flying as they raced towards the last set of trees. Neon gave the stallion his head and leant into him. "Come on handsome," She urged him on. "Let's show those two what we can _really_ do" Jake threw up his head bellowing out a whinny and pulled out the fifth gear chewing up the ground even faster than before as he rounded the trees hugging close to them and headed back towards the path they'd come from.

"Christ, you sure know how to pick 'em, don't you" Quinn grinned breathlessly as he bent over the saddle to catch his breath. "He's got the speed of a bloody thoroughbred in him"

She grinned panting softly as she patted Jake's neck. "Aye, now when we get back you can hand over the spoils of war" She called over her shoulder knotting her reins letting Jake wander on a loose rein as she leant over his saddle draping her arms around his neck, despite her good mood it was discouraging to have found no trace of Sophia and to have to go back and tell Carol they'd found nothing was even worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a cutesy chapter between brother and sister because from the next chapter onward everything is basically going to be in a downward spiral. The barn, Neon's PTSD, her real name, the nature of her and Daryl's relationship, all of them trying to get off the farm, etc, all of it's coming up.
> 
> So, there's roughly 19 chapters left for this installment, and there will be roughly 57 chapters for Hellhound (I might add or subtract from that number depending on how writing the remaining chapters goes). Hellhound is basically going to encompass the 7 or so months time frame between season 2&3, so start preparing yourselves because if you think what's going to happen next to bad then you're going to be in for such a rude awakening.


	29. Chapter 29

Neon pegged up another shirt and glanced up towards Andrea, for the fifth or sixth time, sitting atop the RV with a rifle in her lap. She shook her head lightly returning to the task at hand and turned grabbing another shirt from the pile before catching sight of Daryl heading towards her. "Mornin' saighdeoir," She called out a greeting as she pegged up the shirt. "Seen that annoyin' little prick I call a brother anywhere?" She asked before motioning towards a pile of clean laundry. "He's got clean clothin'"

"Yeah, went to go take a piss"

She nodded before catching the shirt he threw at her and looked at it inspecting it carefully, it was clean, it didn't need washing or drying so she cocked her head in confusion and held it up. "What's this for?"

"You said you wanted it," He shrugged. "Take it"

She looked down at the shirt in her hands again before a smile crept to her lips. "You know I was only pullin' your leg, right?"

"Don't matter, yours now"

She looked up and narrowed her eyes at him. "What're you takin' of mine then?" She queried before grinning. "So long as it's not my knickers, it's all right," She couldn't help it as her grin grew. "Don't think they'd fit you, love"

He gave her a light glare before picking up a wet shirt and throwing it at her hitting her in the face with it. "Just get back to the washin', Neon"

She bristled at that and balled the wet shirt up tossing it back at him nailing him in the back of the head with it causing him to stumble a step. "Oh aye, and what the fuck is wrong with _you_ helpin' out? You've got two perfectly good hands and I'm sure you know how to peg up a shirt, you know, considerin' I ain't your bloody Ma and all, neither are Carol or Lori," She snapped picked up the shirt he'd given her from the ground and slid it on leaving it unbuttoned as she continued with the laundry. "Plus, right now, you're doin' bugger all"

"What? You on the fuckin' rags or somethin' today?"

She turned glaring at him. "No, I'm not. But I'll damn well box your ears if you sit there and do bugger all while I stand here givin' you a free goddamn show," She snapped placing her hands on her hips. "It's hard enough with others skivin' off from their goddamn duties, leavin' the rest of us to pick up their fuckin' slack," She turned her gaze towards Andrea, who was seemingly oblivious to their conversation which irked her all the more. "I mean, shit, I do watch duty too but at least I still pitch in with the chores that need doin', I ain't washin' someone else's dhobi like a fuckin' Noddy if they ain't gonna pitch in too" She saw Andrea turn her head slightly towards them before finally looking down, the loud, slightly passive aggressive, airing of annoyances had finally caught her attention.

"If you've got something to say you might as well say it, Neon"

"I've got a few choice fuckin' things I could said right now, but you wouldn't bloody understand it. What I _am_ goin' to say is, get your fuckin' arse down here and pitch in with the dhobi, 'cause I'm _not_ your bloody Ma and I sure at shit ain't your bloody maid"

"Someone's got to do watch duty" She responded with an underlying tone of arrogance.

A cold smirk graced Neon's lips. "Hey Glenn" She called out to the Korean boy who was sitting beside the fire, his head immediately shooting up at the call of his name.

"What is it?" He queried nervously.

"Do me a solid and go and relieve our dear Andrea from watch duty so she can get her arse down here and do the fuckin' chores she was meant to do this mornin'"

He looked up at Andrea who glared at him shaking her head before he looked back at her and the stern look she levelled him with before he jerked his thumb towards her. "I'm more afraid of her than I am of you" He stated to Andrea before climbing up the end of the RV to take the rifle and binoculars from her.

Neon grabbed a pair of jeans and began to peg them up trying to keep the triumphant grin off her lips.

 

Neon led Jake out of the stable and towards the house where everyone was standing with Rick as he dished out orders. She stroked the stallion's cheek and waited for him to assign her a quadrant. "All right, Andrea and Glenn take this area here," Rick glanced up at her and nodded lightly which she returned. "Neon, I want you to rake this area along the river, on horseback you should be able to traverse it easier than any of us would on foot," He pointed to the river that stretched along the map. "I want Shane and T-Dog to search this area and Dale and I will go along this piece here" He tapped the map.

She checked her gear over once more before properly tightening the saddle's girth and swung up onto Jake's back turning him in a circle on a loose rein to look at Spud. "Spud stay" She motioned to the porch and he whined before laying down with a heavy thump giving her a pathetic look.

"Your brother and Daryl are going to head into town and fetch some supplies for us while we're out," Rick called out to her before she could direct the horse away from the group. "So if there's anything you need you better tell them before you head out"

"Great, my brother's goin' to spill all my nasty, dirty little secrets to saighdeoir," She shook her head laughing softly. "I'm never goin' to live that shit down" She gathered her reins and urged the stallion into a walk. "Hey!" She slammed a hand down on top of Quinn's pickup.

"What?" Her brother poked his head out of the driver's window.

"Alcohol and peanuts" She called over her shoulder as she headed towards the gate next to the RV.

"Aye, all right. Take care" He yelled back as she rounded the side of the RV and kicked Jake into a smooth steady lope.

She slowed the stallion to a walk as they entered the wooded area and removed her machete from her belt strapping it to the saddle horn for easy access. "All right love, it's just the two of us now" She grinned leaning forward to scratch underneath his mane before they headed down through the trees in the direction of the river.

It was only a half hour into their search when she heard the crack of a rifle off to her left, Jake turned his head towards it snorting softly at the sound, ears forward listening intently before he went back to the task of finding a way down the small slope into the river below. Neon rested the heel of her palm against the saddle horn leaning back as he picked his way down the slope carefully into the knee high waters of the river. She pulled him to a halt for a moment letting him drink as she checked the rough makeshift map she'd sketched up from the original and twisted around to look down the river before turning back and looking upstream. "I guess that's our target, Jake" She murmured gathering her reins and nudged him on up the river.

She jerked her head towards the opposite bank as the trees began to rustle and drew her desert eagle before aiming at the sound. "Come out, come out, wherever you are" She murmured softly and fired a shot at the walker that emerged from between the trees, it dropped dead to the riverbank, the shot from the eagles .50 calibre bullet echoed through the trees for a moment before dying out and she shook her head before turning back properly in the saddle. She inhaled sharply and clenched her jaw as she laid eyes on a woman in rags, her long greasy black hair hanging over one shoulder in thick tendrils blocking her face from view as she washed clothing in the river; they were seemingly so immersed in scrubbing the white tank top on an old washboard that they hadn't seen or heard her. She stayed perfectly still, something about the woman unsettled her the longer she stared at her.

A twig snapped to Neon's right drawing her attention; she saw nothing and looked back to where the woman had been standing washing clothing to find the space now vacant. A chill swept through her bones and she unhooked her feet from the stirrups letting her legs dangle free as she leant down scooping up a handful of water rubbing it over her face and neck flicking off the excess before she sighed heavily looking up towards the sky. _I must be going fucking barmy if I'm seeing shit._ She couldn't shake the feeling she knew who the woman was as she urged the stallion on through the water, she glance to her left hearing Andrea and Glenn laughing and pushed the stallion on. She paused as they reached the area where the woman had been and found no trail or tracks, a frown creased her brow as she looked around and then shook her head. _I really am starting to see things._

She stretched nudging Jake up the small slope and back onto the trail and headed through the thicker undergrowth, the stallion gave a snort and a soft nicker before a part of Andrea and Glenn's conversation drifted their way, something about how many walkers could be hiding in the woods and how they should be careful.

The minutes drew on, one rolling into the next as they moved along the riverbank, it was slowly beginning to tick over into an hour since they'd left the farm, Neon would occasionally hear Andrea and Glenn's voices from the left or Dale and Rick's from the right along with the odd gunshot from both sides. She looked skyward trying to pinpoint the suns location for a judge of the time; it had been late in the afternoon when they'd finally left for their search which put the time somewhere towards early evening now.

She nudged Jake lightly before giving him another kick as he stopped to snatch at a piece of fresh juicy grass before he lazily carried on at a slow ambling pace, his ears flicking back and forth between her and the sounds through the trees, the odd growl being carried across the wind from some walker stuck somewhere deeper in the woods.

Neon twisted hearing a gunshot to the left, it sounded closer than she had expected it too, and she frowned softly as she shifted back around in the saddle. Pain swept through her and her entire body forcing it to crumple in on itself, one of her hands instinctively went to the source of the pain in her lower abdomen before she drew her hand back up looking numbly at the warm red blood coating her fingers. The feeling was almost surreal until she looked down at the wound and felt the pain finally hit her senses full force, and she doubled over again sliding sideways from the saddle landing heavily on the ground, pain searing through every nerve in her body bringing back the memories of her torture with full force.

Coldness seeped into her and blood pounded in her ears as her body began to shake uncontrollably as she felt the blood and ultimately her life being siphoned out of her via the open wound in her abdomen. She tried to look around, tried to call for help but the searing pain and panic that was clawing at her had her hyper aware of every scent and every sound; in her mind's eye she was no longer lying on the dirt in the woods but tied to a lone chair in the middle of a windowless cinderblock walled room with a single metal door and pools of her own blood staining the floor.

Warmth on her cheek snapped her from the flashback and she dug her fingers into the earth trying to ground herself as Jake nudged her face, the warmth of his breath on her face helping to ground her and bring her back from the edge of shock. "Go," She reached out touching his cheek. "Help" She choked on the blood and bile rising in the back of her throat and turned coughing and spitting out a mouthful before collapsing back against the ground writhing in pain as a familiar numbness settled in her veins, the adrenaline now beginning to wear off as she struggled to keep her eyes open, unconsciousness would mean death and she knew that all too well. Her mind raced as darkness began to creep into the corners of her vision, all she could think about was her family, how she would never get to see them again, never get to hold her children, never get to kiss Daryl, or laugh with Quinn. She blinked feeling fatigue tug at the far reaches of her brain, the numbness beginning to spread through her limbs as she exhaled a breath. It was surreal, like one big cosmic fuck you. She turned her head towards the woman in rags that was approaching her, her long greasy black hair hung in her face and her broken bony fingers worn to points and covered in blood.

Neon closed her eyes beginning to lose the fight against unconsciousness as the world began to slip into darkness and a tear rolled down her temple to collect in the shell of her ear. _Find them and take care of them Quinn, I know you'll do right by them, right by me._ The last thing she heard was a piercing scream before it too slowly began to fade out.

 

Daryl turned at the sound of a can clattering against the ground, he watched it roll away for a few seconds before scooping it up and looking towards Quinn. "You all righ' man?"

Quinn looked towards him with a glassy look in his eyes before he seemed to snap from his trance like state and looked down at his empty hand and flexed his fingers for a moment. "You feel that?" He queried as a frown creased his features.

"What?"

"That chill," He held out his arm, goosebumps dotting the skin as the hairs stood on end. "It's like the fuckin' sun just upped and disappeared"

Daryl paused trying to figure out if the temperature had dropped or if it was just Quinn before he shook his head. "Can't feel it"

"Somethin' doesn't feel right," Quinn rubbed at his arm before forcing a laugh and shook his head. "Probably nothin'"

He gave a nod checking the cans on the shelf before throwing them into the basket in his hands, he glanced over at Quinn before noticing the tattoo on his left inner forearm. "You and your sis got matchin' tat's, huh?"

Quinn looked down at the tattoo and nodded. "First tat either of us got, it's the family crest," He traced the outline of two lions before straightening up. "Not the only thing we've got in common"

"Yeah, I've seen that. You two are pretty tight," He felt a stab of sorrow. "Kinda reminds me of me and Merle"

"Merle? Ray mentioned a guy named Merle, your brother isn't he?"

He nodded grabbing a packet of salted peanuts from the shelf and threw them to Quinn. "Neon'll be happy"

"Fuckin' ecstatic," He murmured. "Guess she's never mentioned her real name if you keep callin' her Neon all the time"

He shrugged. "Figured she never wanted to tell anyone"

Quinn laughed. "More like she doesn't want to keep remindin' people on how to say it, she gets pretty… _particular_ , about how you pronounce her name," He smiled shaking his head. "So I gotta ask, why Neon?"

"She had this bright neon green survival bracelet on when we first met," He said pushing away the dull ache from his mind. "Needed somethin' to call her after she saved my ass from becomin' Walkerbait… still can't figure out why she went out of her way to save me though"

Quinn chuckled softly and shook his head. "Aye, she's good like that. I like to think it's her but part of it's that military trainin' they drummed into her"

He nodded thinking back to the night Carl had asked about the scar on her leg. "She told us she got captured once"

Quinn fell silent, a look on pain crossing his features briefly. "Aye…" Silence stretched for a few moments before he finally spoke again. "Da cried for a week straight when he found out and Connor cried every night until she came home, he didn't want to believe his Ma might not be comin' home and Amelia, well, she was just too young to understand," He gave a soft laugh with a nostalgic smile. "She ever tell you about bitin' off one of her CO's ear's?"

"Yeah, somethin' about a disagreement"

"It was a bloody disagreement all right," Quinn laughed throwing back his head as he did. "She was on desk duty while she recovered and he kept flirtin' with her and she just wasn't interested so she called him out about it and filed a complaint, went through all the regs and shit but nothin' stuck so after that he decided to make her life hell. She went along with it until one day shit got said and he forced her up against the wall," He shook his head. "If there's one piece of advice I'll give you, Dixon, it's _never_ back Ray into a corner, 'cause she'll fight like a rabid dog, literally," He added grinning broadly. "But anyway, he tried to touch her, she fought back and it went from one well aimed punch into an all-out brawl," He began to laugh. "It you ever get the chance to see her fight you should take some notes, she's got some gnarly moves that'll break bones and somehow manages to turn it into a form of artwork but she doesn't care about rules or bein' polite hence the reason that prick wound up missin' an ear"

Daryl grinned, he was curious to see her in a fight now. "Heard she took a swing at Shane"

"Aye, she was waitin' for him to shoot her, don't quite think he understood what he was gettin' himself into when he decided to pick a fight with her" Quinn shook his head before running a hand through his hair. "You know, she's never wanted to talk about what went on overseas, she talked to her CO's and the company shrink but she would never tell Da or I," His eyes lost focus slightly. "She used to get this look in her eyes, like she was off with the fae"

"The fae?" He snorted softly. "What the fuck's that?"

Quinn chuckled. "You yanks call them fairies," He gave a lopsided smile. "She's into all that stuff; faeries, leprechauns, and all the old Irish myths and legends," He threw a can into the box in front of him. "She used to have this paintin' hung up in her office at home, big bloody Kraken that stretched across the wall"

Daryl looked over the bottles on the shelf before looking towards the sky outside. "We should get back soon, they'll all be gettin' back soon"

Quinn looked out the doors and nodded. "Aye," He over at him watching him for a moment. "You're a good guy, Daryl, but I'll tell you this now, you hurt Ray and I'll cut your goddamn heart out"

Daryl gave him a once over trying to determine if the threat was real or not, everything about Quinn's cool, calm and easy going exterior that he'd been showing before was gone, replaced with a much more serious and protective one. He gave a nod of understanding which Quinn returned before they started back for the pickup to head back to the farm.


	30. Chapter 30

Daryl grabbed a box from the back of Quinn's pickup and headed towards the camp, he poked his head into Neon's tent only to find it empty and frowned, darkness was beginning to bleed into the sky.

"She in there?"

He jerked slightly and looked over at Quinn. "Nah, must not be back yet"

Quinn inclined his head lightly in curiosity before looking towards the wooded area across the paddock and shrugged. "She's a big girl, capable of holdin' her own and smart enough to make it back before dark"

"Yeah," He looked towards the house before spotting a familiar sandy brown mass sitting on the porch. "Spud's up at the house, she's probably up there too" He dumped the box of supplies on the picnic table before making his way towards the house. "Hey Spud" The dog looked up and gave a soft whine before returning to his previous position, head resting on his paws and eyes fixed firmly to some spot in the distance.

"So you're both back, good"

Daryl looked up at Hershel as he exited the house before pointing to Spud. "How long's he been out here?"

Hershel looked down at the sandy brown pitbull. "He hasn't moved since the young lady, Neon? Left this afternoon"

"She ain't back yet?" Somehow that didn't sit right with him, it put something within him on edge.

"Not yet, everyone else arrived back about ten minutes ago," A frown touched at Hershel's brow. "The blonde, Andrea, she came back saying she'd managed to take down a couple of ' _walkers_ '" The elder man spoke the word as if he detested it.

He gave a jerk of a nod. "Neon'll be back soon, she won't stay out after dark," He shrugged but the unsettled feeling didn't leave, he couldn't shake the feeling that something somewhere was wrong with the current situation. "Besides, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself–" Spud stood suddenly, his good ear pricking forward and body beginning to tremble as he let out a deep woof cutting him off as a horse's squeal sounded across the farm and the black stallion Neon had taken a fond liking too galloped around the side of the RV almost slipping over sideways in its mad dash, it threw in a hard buck as it righted himself and headed straight for the house, the obvious absence of a rider made panic dig its claws into him. "Whoa, whoa" He reached out trying to grab the reins knotted around the horses neck only to be forced back a few steps as the horse let out a shrill scream of a squeal and reared up thrashing it's forelegs dangerously close to his face. "Calm down, ya stupid animal" Hershel stepped around him raising his hands, the stallion pranced on the spot jerking its head away as Hershel grabbed his reins, it's performance and how it had thundered up to the house had drawn everyone out to see what was happening.

"Isn't that Jake?" Maggie stepped towards the stallion who lashed out pinning its ears back against its head and tried to rear again, the horse was covered in a later of foamy white sweat and chomped on the bit in its mouth before it snorted and rolled its eyes back into its head as he tried to rear again. "What's got him all worked up?"

"Isn't that the horse Neon took out this afternoon?"

Daryl stepped towards the horse and looked down at its one white sock; it was tinted pink underneath the dirt and grime. He placed a hand on its saddle to get a better look and immediately jerked his hand away feeling cold wetness under his palm; he looked down at his hand only to confirm his fears. "She's been injured" He said holding up his hand for the others to see, a soft gasp came from Carol who turned away with a hand covering her mouth. "Bad by the looks of it" He surveyed the patches of blood coating the stallions wither, shoulder, and saddle.

"Do you think a walker got her?"

He glanced over at Glenn and shook his head, there was no way it was possible. "This is Neon we're talkin' about, ain't no walker takin' her down without one hell of a fight"

Quinn stepped up beside him and looked at the blood coating the horse. "That's a shit load of blood, whatever the hell happened we gotta find her _now_ , she'll bleed out if we stand around chin waggin' much longer"

He gave a nod of agreement.

"Whoa, are we seriously going to go out there _now_? It's nearly pitch black, we'd only end up running around in circles, or worse yet, lost" Shane interjected.

Spud whined and drew his attention. "No we wouldn't," He pointed towards the dog that had begun to pace. "He could probably find her"

"That dog _ain't_ no trackin' dog" Shane stated half laughing as he glared at the pitbull whose hackles went up in an instant, his teeth barring at Shane as he crouched low and began to growl.

"I think Spud disagrees with you there, mate," Quinn stated. "Besides, she's his master, he'll find her" He looked around the group. "This isn't like searchin' for the wee lass, this is Ray and she'd obviously injured. She stays out there and she'll die… if she isn't dead already," He spoke gravely before setting his jaw. "I don't give a fuck what the rest of you are goin' to do but she's my goddamn sister and I'm goin' to fuckin' find her" He turned away from the group and headed towards his pickup to grab his gear.

"Daryl, you go with Quinn, Shane and I will go out as well. Everyone else stay here encase she makes it back, we'll search for an hour then come back"

Daryl shrugged off the suggestion; he'd been planning on going with Quinn anyway. He grabbed his crossbow from the back of the pickup as he passed it, Spud tagging along at his heels now and he knelt letting the dog sniff at the blood on his hands, a growl emitting from deep within Spud's belly before he was off like a shot with both men sprinting after him as fast as they could.

 

Daryl hunched forward ducking under a tree branch, Spud's nose was to the ground, occasionally he would stop to sniff at a tree or a patch of ground before dashing off again with a deep woof. He exhaled between his teeth slightly winded from running, his side aching dully until he heard the growls of a walker close by, all senses suddenly kicking into high gear.

"Do you hear that?" Quinn murmured coming to a halt beside him as Spud stopped to sniff another patch of ground. "Do you think…?"

He shook his head readying his crossbow and hoped to hell he wasn't going to have to put a bolt through Neon, a whine caught his attention and he glanced towards Spud as the dog paced and waited for them to follow on. "Come on" He nudged the man next to him and gave chase after the pitbull.

As soon as they broke the treeline into a small clearing he stopped cold with a stumble. The moonlight streamed down through the trees illumining the patch of ground were a body lay twisted at a precarious angle, one arm by their side and the other thrown over their ribs. A choke breath escaped his lips seeing the chequered sleeveless shirt he'd given to Neon and the bright neon green paracord survival bracelet adorning the body. His head snapped towards the walker that broke from the treeline closest to her, and he growled as it ambled towards her; it was only a few feet away from her when he raised his crossbow and tapped the trigger, the bolt slicing through the side of its head and into its brain dropping it to the ground. He looked back at Quinn; the man was standing in a near shock as he stared at his sister lying on the ground. "Hey," He slapped Quinn's cheek trying to draw him out of his daze. "She needs you man" Quinn looked at him wide eyed before nodding quickly and moved forward letting out a choked cry as he got closer, as soon as he stepped closer he could see why, the damage to her stomach was severe.

Daryl quickly retrieved his bolt from the downed walker and dropped next to Quinn as he pressed his fingers to his sister's wrist and then quickly under her throat before finally letting out a relieved sigh. "She's alive… barely" He made the sign of a cross on his chest. "Thank you heavenly father. Her pulse is weak, thready, but she's fuckin' alive," He checked the wound and grimaced. "For how much longer I'm not sure" Daryl looked at the wound, whatever had hit her had blown a pretty hole into her torso. "Jesus," Quinn swore under his breath as he sat back on his heels. "Andrea… Hershel was talkin' about how she came back tellin' them how managed to nail some fuckin' walkers," He motioned to the wound before running a hand up through his hair in a stressed gesture. "That's about the size of a huntin' round"

He felt anger boil the blood in his veins and looked to the wound. "We gotta stop the bleedin'"

Quinn nodded yanking off his over shirt and folded it into a pad. "Get her belt off" He did as instructed handing it to Quinn and watched him bind the pad over the wound with the belt. He made a move to pick her up before Quinn stopped him, he was about to snap at him until the motioned to his side. "You'll pull your stitches, last thing we need is Hershel patchin' you up too" He looked down at Neon for a moment before nodding reluctantly, a seed of guilt beginning to fester that he couldn't help her.

Daryl stepped back letting Quinn haul his sister's body up, a broken whimper emitting from the woman that had started to break into a heavy sweat, shakes rolling through her body every few seconds as if she were cold. He placed his hand against her forehead and nearly hissed at the heat rolling off her; it was like her body had been thrown into a funeral pyre. "She's burnin' up"

"Aye, what's the bettin' that bloody bullet punctured her fuckin' stomach?"

"Is that bad?"

"Stomach acid is nasty shit, it's probably sat long enough to give her an infection," They both jogged and only stopping so Quinn could readjust his grip on Neon. "Just be fuckin' prepared for the worst Daryl, if she doesn't get help soon that infection could turn into sepsis and that shit turns nasty real fast"

He wasn't sure if it was panic or fear that made him grab Quinn's shoulder and jerk him to a halt. "Don't fuckin' say that, she's gonna survive, she's gonna get better, this is gonna be nothin' but a scar and a distant memory"

Quinn swallowed roughly, the hopeless look in his eyes hardened as he gave a short jerking nod. "Aye, of course," They started to run again. "If she can survive that hell overseas this'll be a walk in the bloody park for her"

Daryl gave a nod picking up the pace again, the sooner they got back to the homestead the sooner Hershel could patch her up and have her back on her feet again.


	31. Chapter 31

Daryl breathed a short sigh of relief as they neared the homestead. "What happened?" Both he and Quinn ignored the questions they were bombarded with as soon as they approached and hauled Neon inside before Hershel steered them towards one of the rooms upstairs called out to Patricia listing out everything he would need her to gather for him.

"Put her down," Hershel motioned to the bed as he began to roll up his sleeves. "Now, what happened?"

"Gunshot to the abdomen, looks like sepsis is settin' in," Quinn stated placing her down gently on the bed as Daryl fell back out of the way. "My guess is a huntin' round straight through the gut, possibly clippin' her stomach"

Hershel nodded checking the wound. "It doesn't quite look like sepsis has developed yet, we need to get that fever under control and clear the infection, sepsis in this condition would lead straight to septic shock," He handed a face cloth to Quinn. "Cold water and place it on her forehead" Quinn nodded rushing out of the room as Hershel looked over at him. "I might need you to hold her down"

He nodded leaning his crossbow up against the wall and shrugged out of his vest throwing it down next to it as Patricia ushered Lori, Carol, and Carl away from the doorway of the room shutting it over before helping Hershel set up. He looked over at Neon just in time to see her eyes open a sliver. "Hey, hey she'd awake" She made a move to prop herself up on her elbows only for Hershel to push her back down flat, immediately she fought back and he held her shoulders down.

A broken pain filled cry left her lips as her body curled in on itself and her hands went towards her wound as she continued to fight. "Help me keep her still, the more she moves the more damage she'll do," Herself struggled to keep a hold on her shoulders. "She's probably delusional from the shock and infection"

Daryl reached out grabbing her legs holding them down as she tried to thrash, only once did she managed to clip him in the chin with her kneecap. _Fuck she's strong, even injured she's a fighter._ A choked cry emitted from and a whimper left her lips as a tear leaked down the side of her face, a soft almost inaudible _'I'm not givin' you anythin''_ left her lips before she fell still. He glanced up at Quinn standing in the doorway with a cloth and a bowl of cold water before he finally moved into the room and settled on the edge of the bed soaking the cloth and then folded it wringing it out and placed it over her forehead.

"I need to know what blood type she is"

"O neg"

"You're the same?"

"Of course"

Hershel nodded. "I need you both to leave so Patricia and I can work, Quinn stay close encase we need you to give blood"

Quinn shook his head. "I'm not goin' anywhere, she's my sister, I'm not leavin' her"

Hershel nodded understanding the sentiment and turned his gaze towards Daryl before motioning to the door. "She's too susceptible to infection right now, the less people the better.

He nodded stiffly grabbing his things and left the room. He didn't want to leave, he didn't want to just walk away but if it could mean the difference between life and death for Neon then he would. _Old man managed to save Carl; surely he can work the same miracle twice._

"What happened?" Lori pounced on him as soon as he was down the stairs; she was in his face prodding him for an answer.

"Get outta my face would you," He growled giving her a light push to get her to back off a step. "She got hit with a huntin' round in the belly; Quinn thinks it clipped her stomach"

"Will she survive?" Dale pushed.

"How the hell should I know old man?" He snapped, his anger and confusion getting the better of him. "I ain't no fuckin' doctor, all I know is I can't do jack in there," He jerked his head towards the stairs. "Hershel kicked me out; somethin' about too many people could make her infection worse"

"Infection?" Lori queried biting the edge of her nail. "What type of infection?"

"Old man said it looked like it was the beginnin' of sep-sepsis," He furrowed his brow trying to remember if that was the word. "He said if they didn't get it under control it would lead to septic shock"

The mood of the group dimmed dramatically and it was Shane that spoke up. "If she gets septic shock she's done for"

"Why?" He spun around in anger. "She's a fuckin' fighter, ain't no little infection gonna take her down" He lashed out taking a threatening step towards Shane as he balled his hands into fists, everyone's willingness to write her off tugged at something in the base of his gut.

"Septic shock isn't a _'little infection'_ , it usually leads to multiple organ failure, we ain't got the resources to get her through that kind of shit, if her kidneys fail we can't get the treatments she'll need to pull through it," Shane snapped back taking his own threatening step towards him before looking over at Rick. "She's going to become a liability, too ill to move and too weak to fight"

"She ain't gonna be a liability, she's gonna be fine" He snarled risking another step towards Shane, right now he was willing to have it out with anyone. "What the hell is wrong with all ya'll? Always lookin' at the worst possible outcomes like they're the only outcomes, god, am I the only one who can see the best?" He half yelled taking a look at their grim faces. "Fuck all ya'll, Neon's stronger than all of us combined, fuckin' veteran royal marine for god sake, endured a month of fuckin' torture and lived to tell the tale about her scars" He sat heavily in one of the chairs and pushed the hair back from his face, the guilt about not being able to help her was beginning to eat away at him and make him angry.

A broken cry sounded from upstairs, one of pure pain, and a chilling feeling ran through his bones making him cringe. _You've got to pull through this Neon._ He glanced out the corner of his eye at Rick and Shane tucked in the corner taking in hushed voices. _You've got to pull through and show them all you're stronger than they think, if not for that then do it just so you've got something to throw in that smug assholes face._

The seconds ticked into minutes and the minutes slowly ticked into hours, everyone was still waiting in the living room for news. Daryl would change from sitting down to pacing every so often and Spud sat faithfully outside the bedroom door keeping guard, keeping everyone away from it. He stood as Hershel came down the stairs wiping his bloody hands on a clean towel.

"How is she?" Carol asked from her spot sitting beside Andrea.

"I managed to dig the bullet out and sew up the wound, thankfully the bullet didn't damage her stomach. She's stable for now but she's on the brink of sepsis. With the right care and antibiotics it should slowly clear up but that's if the damage done to her insides doesn't kill her first"

"Is she going to survive?"

Hershel turned towards Dale. "If, _if_ ," He stressed the word. "She makes it through the next twenty four hours her recovery looks like a possibility, the twenty four after that and I would say it looks promising but she is going to be very delirious and shaky for a while until the infection clears up," He explained. "I don't want everyone traipsing through there unless you have a reason to see her; she's still susceptible to infection right now and needs her rest"

Daryl shifted and headed up the stairs pushing the door open slightly, Quinn was sat across the room on the windowsill cleaning his hands with a wet rag, he looked up silently and soon made his way out pulling the door shut leaving him alone in the room. He looked at Neon, her shaky sweaty body was pale from blood loss, the blanket had been pulled up tight around her chest covering her body from view but he'd seen enough of the damage to know she'd be left with one hell of a scar. He settled in the chair beside the bed and took her in slowly; her eyes were closed, an angry red colouring the sockets with and an even darker red rimming her eyelids, and quickly low breaths escaped from her parted lips. "You get better, you hear me," He leant forward brushing a strand of damp hair from her face and slowly ran his finger down the side of her face, a movement that she flinched away from as a whimper left her lips, his fingers curled when he heard it and he felt tension curl through his chest. "Connor and Amelia are gonna need you when we find them" He felt the words catch in his throat and scowled as the edges of his vision began to blur.

Anger coursed through his veins and he forced himself out of the seat and out of the room, Spud slinking in as he pulled the door shut and made his way downstairs. His eye met Quinn's as he talked with Rick and immediately he was on his tail calling out to him to calm down. Daryl stalled hearing voices on the porch and glanced to his right to find Carol and Andrea in the two rocking chairs, his anger was getting the better of his as he stalked towards them ready to rip into Andrea. "You dumb bitch," He snarled and the blonde's face twisted in anger ready to yell back at him until he shouted her down. "Didn't think it was a good idea to tell someone when you came back that you shot her off the horse?"

"I was firing at _walkers_ , I _never_ saw Neon or the horse" She snapped back forcing a word in.

"Yeah, and she nearly got bit by one of those fuckin' bastards 'cause of you" He snarled back. "There was one eight fuckin' feet from her when we got to her," He couldn't control himself any longer, the little latch between his brain and his mouth had always been a bit faulty but right now it seemed to be stuck on open. "Only reason she's in there hangin' on is 'cause she's got two kids stuck out there in all this bullshit, they've been alone from the start," Nearly everyone was watching him rip into Andrea now. "Fuckin' seventeen and _eight_ , they're still babies!" He wanted to stop, he didn't know if she'd ever discussed her family with anyone else, but couldn't as one thing rolled into the next and unleashed all his anger. "It's killin' her they're out there without her," He motioned to the world around them. "In all this, cold and alone, no mama to protect them, no one watchin' their backs, no one to tell 'em it'll be all righ', no one other than her and Quinn even lookin' for them, and she's done _everythin'_ to help look for Sophia and keep this group safe," He shook his head casting a glare around the group. "She put up with all ya'll bullshit but none of you have even taken the time to get to know her, if ya'll had she might've opened up a little, told ya'll about her family but ya'll got your heads stuck so far up your own asses that you don't give a shit about anyone except yourselves"

"Daryl calm down" Carol reached out to grab his arm, a calming gesture that only served to agitate him further.

"Don't tell me to fuckin' calm down," He jerked away from the touch. "She nearly got Neon bit, nearly killed her, if the fuckin' infection don't kill her the damage to her insides probably will" He snarled before turning and stalking away from the homestead, crossbow slung over his shoulder, the group behind him in a stunned silence at his sudden outburst.

Daryl exhaled slowly and changed course for his tent, he wanted a drink, a smoke, and to just sleep. Fuck everyone else and what they wanted, the day had been long and tiring _before_ Neon had been shot, especially since no one had brought back word one about Sophia. He settled down on his makeshift bed and looked at the packet of salted peanuts beside a can of Guinness, Quinn had laughed when he'd found it and told him his sister would love him for the rest of her days if he gave it to her. He turned his gaze away from the can and out the small mesh window, he couldn't make top or tail of the thoughts and feelings swirling through his mind and he shook his head trying to clear them away as he lay down, everything he felt towards Neon was foreign to him. A small shot of worry dug at him, that someone would try something during the night, and he scowled trying to get rid of it, he knew Neon would be safe until the morning with Spud sleeping next to her or in some dark corner of the bedroom but he still couldn't help but worry.


	32. Chapter 32

Daryl woke to the smell of cooking eggs and felt his stomach churn, he hadn't eaten the night before and even though his stomach was currently trying to eat itself he still had little of an appetite. He blindly reached for the bottle of whiskey beside his bed and winced as it burned its way down his throat and hit his empty stomach. He exhaled and rubbed at his tired eyes, the dreams he'd had over the course of the night had disrupted his sleep several times, he still couldn't get her out of his head, the tumultuous whirlwind of emotions he'd awoken with several times had been confusing to say the least, almost angering at some points. He couldn't understand what it was about Neon that attracted him towards her but there was something there; maybe it was the fact she didn't always need someone to help her out, how she was capable of holding her own in a fight, maybe it was the way she handled that rifle of hers, every time he thought about it he found it strangely arousing, she was as lethal as she was smart. He let his mind wander a bit; he could almost bet that if, before the world had turned to shit, they'd met in a bar that they would have never given each other a second glance, well, he would have definitely give her a second glance. She struck him as one of those people that sang and danced when they got drunk, those that were happy and loud, the ones that would accept a drinking challenge then drink their opponent under the table, although he pegged that down to her Irish descent. She was far from the pretty little things with a great rack and a tight ass that Merle had often pushed in his direction, she was a woman with experience and that experienced shows on her face and in the way she carried herself, she was confident in herself and in her abilities. She was older than him, if only by a few years, and while he'd been struggling to figure out what to do with his life she'd been enlisting and risking her life for her country.

He exhaled between his teeth still unable to pinpoint _why_ he was drawn back to her time and time again, it was confusing and that confusion was giving way to anger. She was at least as tall as he was and built to run and wield a gun, her body was honed from years of military service and use, it bent to her will just as the people around her did, her fingers we calloused and scarred with missing and broken nails that didn't quite seem to suit her, they were long almost slightly elegant in comparison to her rough outline. He groaned lowly shaking his head and willing the gutter thoughts to disappear as they began to creep into his forethoughts, the thoughts of those exact fingers running over his skin and through his hair. Everything he was feeling was utterly confusing to him; it was like a feral, almost primal, _want_ to protect her, to end anything that tried to harm her. The anger he had felt when he saw her lying there so defenceless with that walker closing in had made him remember she wasn't invincible, god only knows why he had begun to think she could take a bullet and get straight back up and keep going, maybe it was the way she carried herself, maybe it was the cocky confidence she put in her abilities, or that bad bitch attitude she carried with pride or maybe it was the cold, calm, collected, almost clinical, and utterly ruthless way she was in combat, the way she reloaded with military precise ease, the way she _always_ hit her target no matter the weapon and no matter the distance, maybe it was the way she knew her limits but still tried to push them or maybe it was how dedicated she was to her family, willing to die and go through hell just to find and reunite them all.

Family. The thought hit him hard, it was something he'd never really had, unless he counted a drunk father and Merle, neither of which had ever been around when it counted, neither had been there when he'd been lost, neither had been there when he'd shot his first buck; Merle still didn't believe he'd hit it square in the chest on his first shot. He couldn't help but envy Quinn; he had a sister that cared deeply for him, a bond that couldn't be broken with her no matter what separated them. He envied her children too; he would have given anything to have a mother like her when he was growing up, she was smart, and not just book smart either, she was street smart and had an entire brain filled with military knowledge, knowledge of weapons most people could only ever _dream_ of using. She had knowledge of protocols, strategies, and vehicles, but most of all he envied them because of how dedicated she was to finding them, she'd driven over a thousand miles just to scour an entire walker infested city and when she hadn't found them there it had only reinforced her spirit, her hope.

He couldn't keep his mind off her, no matter what he did she was always there in the back of his mind, a reminder that if something could be salvaged from the world they now lived in, if something might be worth pursuing it would involve her; hell, he knew he was no father, didn't even think for a moment he'd be any good at it but from everything Neon had told him he would have made a damn sight better father than the asshole her children had by blood.

He remembered the reoccurring dream that had plagued him over the night and tried to shake the sudden feeling of pain and guilt, Neon was fine and safe within the house, as hard as he tried he couldn't shake the feelings from his mind. The nightmare that had taken root had been strange, voices screaming him as he ran through the woods that if they couldn't have him then neither could he, a ghostly visage guiding his way to her only to find her being gnawed upon by walkers and telling her something he'd never told anyone as he witnessed her take her own life. The nightmare had shaken something inside his mind, something inside his very core.

Daryl shook his head to rid himself of the memory before forcing himself to stand, the pain of a hangover lancing through his head as he did. He stepped out of his tent and stretched slinging on a new shirt before heading towards the house. He kicked off his boots and stared down at them for a moment, any other time he would have said fuck it, not his house therefore he didn't care about tracking mud, but Neon had slapped him around the back of the head and reprimanded him by reminding him that they were guests and it was rude to track mud through the house that Patricia and Beth cleaned daily. He shook his head heading inside before going upstairs ignoring everyone that was sat at the table in the dining room, he nudged the door open to Neon's room, Spud looked up at him with a soft growl before lying back down with his head on his paws on the rug at the foot of the bed. He settled into the chair next to the bed and watched Neon sleep, she was still shaky and sweaty, the fever still persistent but had come down a significant amount over the course of the night, it had to be a good sign, it had to mean the infection was subsiding. The tension gripping his chest tightened like a vice for a split second when he saw her eyes flicker and open a sliver, a small but weak smile gracing her lips as relief flooded his veins. "Mornin'," She opened her mouth to respond but closed it unable to lend her voice to her words, she looked weak and weary, a shadowy dullness drifting behind her eyes as she shifted on the bed and tried to sit up only to fall short and end up collapsing back to the bed; the infection had taken its toll on her strength. "Hershel said you ain't to move for a while, don't want to pull your stitches"

Her hand moved to the bandage around her torso and she grimaced in pain as her fingers snagged on it. "Thank you" She managed to murmur out, lips barely moving at all as she spoke her words with a hoarse dry crack in her voice.

"Why?"

"Everythin'…" Her voice cracked again and faded. "Just… thank you" She shut her eyes, her entire body shagging and falling still briefly as she slipped away from consciousness again.

He watched the uneven rise and fall of her chest, the fast and ragged breaths passing through her parted lips gave little to settle his uneasy mind. He stood, touching the hand closest to him before slowly curling his hand around hers and squeezed it gently, his thumb brushing over the faded scars circling her wrists, before letting go. As he drew his hand back a thought began to dig at the back of his mind; the tension in his chest, the worry, pain and guilt he felt, the anger and confusion clouding him, the want to protect her and see her happy, it was all related. His hand clenched at his side as the thought began to dig at the back of his mind, part of him knew what it all meant but the other part was still trying to figure out the foreign feeling that made his heart race every time he looked at her, that made him want to reciprocate every time he caught sight of her unguarded and easy going smile. He turned and left the room as quickly as he could almost running into Hershel as the elder man made his way up the stairs. "She woke up"

"She did?" The elder man seemed surprised. "She must be stronger than I originally thought; I didn't expect her to be awake for another day or two"

He gave a tense shrug. "It's Neon" Was the only answer he could provide.

"I've been meaning to ask, her name, what is it? I take it Neon is only a nickname"

He gave another shrug. "Always been Neon, she's never bothered to correct me or anyone else about it" Sometimes he thought about it and tried to pick a name that suited her; a feminine sounding name, like Chloe, Julia or Penelope, didn't spring to mind when he thought of her. When he thought about her name he thought of strong sounding ones, Alexandra, Naomi or even Maxine, but it would probably have an Irish origin to it like Erin or Cáit but Quinn kept referring to her as Ray so it had to have some sort of significance.

 

Daryl wiped at the sweat running down his neck, the afternoon had set in hard and the sun had begun to boil everything left in it forcing them to stop their search early. His head whipped towards the homestead as he heard the door bang and saw Maggie go sprinting across the porch. "Dad! Dad come quick!" She yelled out in a panic running down the stairs towards her father. "It's Neon, there's something wrong," She was stressing, worried about whatever it was that had happened. "I don't know what to do"

Both he and Quinn shared a look before sprinting towards the house and made their way inside to find Neon lying in the hallway, blood slick across the floor and a bloody handprint smeared down the wall. He watched as Hershel checked her pulse. "She must have tried to get up, probably another delusion"

"She seemed pretty into it this mornin'" He recalled thinking about when he'd seen her, she hadn't seemed delusional, just weak.

"It's probably the fever," Hershel rolled her onto her back and began to inspect the damage she'd done. "Until it breaks she'll be in and out of lucidness"

"She wasn't out there before," Maggie knelt next to Neon and brushed back a few damp strands of hair. "She was still in bed but she was shaking and sweating real bad, she's been vomiting too," She looked almost scared as she relayed the information. "She was mumbling, saying something about not giving up information"

"Her fever's spiked again and she's bleeding internally, I'm going to have to open her up again to drain the blood and stop the bleeding," Hershel looked up at his daughter. "Fetch me my things and get Patricia, I need someone to clean up that room as well," He looked over Quinn. "Help me get her into one of the other rooms, if I don't find the bleeder we could lose her completely" Quinn nodded as he carefully hooked his arms under her and scooped her up, she didn't utter a sound causing Hershel to frown and check her vitals. "Her pressure's dropped, I'm going to need you to give more blood," He motioned to the bed and Quinn placed her down. "Now, do either of you know what these delusions are that she's having?"

Quinn cleared his throat as Hershel started to prep his skin for the needle. "Ray's got PTSD, had it since she was taken prisoner but she's always had it locked down, you know, she knows her triggers and how to deal with it. Gettin' shot must have triggered somethin' in her head" The silence in the room was thick for a moment as the information sunk in.

Daryl stepped back falling against the wall as Hershel began to prep himself for surgery, he glanced to the door to find Spud watching with a worried gaze and turned heading out calling the dog after him before taking a seat on the porch on one of the rocking chairs. _She's got to survive. No. She's_ _ **going**_ _to survive, just like we're_ _ **going**_ _to find Sophia._ He watched as Spud laid heavily at his feet, he'd heard from Patricia when he'd arrived back at camp that the dog had tried to attack Lori when she'd entered the room, tried to attack Andrea, and Rick too, even managed to lay a warning nip at Shane's ankles, he didn't want anyone near his master, only those _he_ deemed fit. She'd told him she'd only ever seen one dog as loyal to its master and that had been her daddy's mongrel mix that he'd found on the side of the road.

He exhaled leaning back in the rocking chair, Neon had gotten so far under his skin it wasn't funny anymore, she'd managed to worm her way into his mind and even into his heart and the more he tried to deny that fact the more the prospect of losing her scared him. She was someone he was indebted to, she'd saved his life, if she hadn't decided to stop and take down those walkers he would have never managed to get away, he would have been dead or become one of them at the very least, it had always irked him that she'd stopped and saved him, not because she'd saved him but because everything he'd seen from her since told him she would have never done it without a reason. He briefly wondered what Merle would have thought and then snorted derisively, his brother would have called him a pussy for getting _'feeling's'_ for a chick, Merle had been the tap and go kind of guy, hell, his brother had scared off the first girl he'd ever brought home as a kid. He could count on one hand the number of women he'd been with but none of them had made him _feel_ anything, not like this, with Neon it was different, there was that pleasure that always came with sex but her eyes saw everything around her, her damn mind saw everything as well; they were open, open to the sights and sounds going on around her, open to the possibilities of new things. Merle had raised him differently, raised him closed minded, his way of thinking, but when his brother had been gone, when there was no one to steer him down a path he made his own, began to think for himself, opened himself up to new things; Neon was one of them. If Merle had still been with them he doubted he would have thought twice about Neon, not like he was now, he wouldn't have seen her for was she was; a valuable asset to the group, someone who added strength and knowledge to them. He knew he would have seen her as his brother had, just another weak woman to wash, cook, and clean, hell, they may have even come to ends with each other and ended up trading fists.

He could still remember the first morning he and Neon rolled into camp, how she'd hung back uneasy of the group, unsure of who they were and if they could be trusted. He could still remember Merle asking later if he'd fucked her and what her pussy was like, if she was _'clean'_ as he liked to put it. Remembering the things his brother had said and how he'd laughed along with him made his skin crawl, made him want to turn back time and deck his brother, tell him that's not how you treat a lady like her.

He jumped, startled, as Quinn dropped into the chair beside him with a pad pressed against his arm. "How's she doin'?" He queried.

"Hershel's tryin' to close off the bleeder," He groaned lowly. "Fuckin' bleedin' me dry too" There was a pause between them. "He wants someone to stay with her, make sure she doesn't try and get up again until we're sure she's lucid enough to understand what's happened" He looked underneath the pad and pressed it to his arm again. "I thought we could trade shifts on that one, as much as I love my sister she's apparently a handful when she's delirious"

Daryl nodded watching the sun sink lower into the sky, he didn't have to ask why Quinn was coming to him with the news, it was becoming apparent that he followed his sisters lead on who to trust within the group. _Tomorrow's going to be one hell of a day if she wakes up again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I may or may not have to change up how I post, I've got an interview on Monday at a place that supposed to help me get work, it's like a work programme that helps people get work, get things to help with work (like licenses, clothing, etc), then I've got a thing called Jobfest to go to on Wednesday and I've actually got a job interview to attend while I'm there. So depending on whether or not I ace the interview and get the job or get into the work programme depends on if I have to change up my posting schedule or not.


	33. Chapter 33

Daryl nodded a thanks to Carol as she scooped some eggs out onto his plate and he slowly began to pick at them. Hershel had managed to fix Neon's bleeding and sow her back up again, he could remember the amount of blood in the container, the blood Hershel had said he'd had to draw out of her torso. Daryl shuddered lightly and glanced up at the homestead before looking back to his eggs and finished them off.

"Um, guys," Glenn's voice drew his attention and he watched him fidget nervously, curiosity stopped him from leaving. "So… the barns full of walkers"

Silence descended upon the group and overtook the atmosphere of gloom as everyone looked towards the boy. _You've got to be fucking kidding me._ He stood leaving the empty plate on the chair and followed everyone else down towards the barn, standing back as Shane ventured forward and peered through the old worn slats of the doors, he jumped back slightly before heading back towards them. "You cannot tell me you're all right with this"

"No, I'm not," Rick growled in response. "But we're guests here, this isn't our land"

"God Rick, this is our _lives_ man"

He glanced towards the barn hearing the hissing and snarling, they were beginning to draw the walkers attention. "Lower your voice" Glenn hissed looking nervously towards the barn.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug"

"It ain't right, not remotely," Shane began to pace. "Okay, we've either got to go in there and make things right or," He stopped and turned to Rick. "We've just got to go; now, we've been talking about Fort Benning for a long time"

"We can't go" Rick snapped cutting of Shane and Daryl felt a flare of anger race through him at the thought of even thinking of leaving Neon behind in the condition she was in.

"Why Rick, why?"

"Because my daughters still out there, because Neon is still inside on deaths doorstep" Carol looked towards Shane and stepped forward as she spoke.

"Okay," Shane scrubbed his hands down his face. "Okay, I think it's time we all start to just consider the other possibilities, Neon isn't going to get bet–"

"Neon _is_ getting better," Rick cut him off. "And we're not leaving Sophia behind"

Daryl stepped around Carol glaring Shane down. "I'm close to findin' this little girl; I just found her damn doll a few days ago"

"You found her doll Daryl, that's what you did, you found a _doll_ "

"You don't know what the hell you're talkin' about," He snapped talking a few threatening steps towards him, he was more than ready to go down this road. "And who the hell's gonna explain to Neon's kids when we find 'em that their Mama ain't around 'cause we left her behind"

"Whoever said anything about leaving her behind?"

A feral sounding growl came from behind him and Quinn rushed past him trying to get at Shane. "That's my fuckin' sister you're talkin' about you fuckin' arsehole," Rick grabbed the irate man stopping him to going any further. "You take a step towards her and I'll fuckin' cut your goddamn heart out, you fuckin' understand me you prick?" Quinn snarled shoving Rick's arm away and headed towards the house.

"I'm just saying what needs to be said, you get a good lead, it's the first forty eight hours," Shane swapped the subject off Neon and back onto Sophia trying to get people to forget that he'd just openly contemplated murdering someone. Shane's words were drowned out by Rick as he attempted to calm him down but only served to aggravate him even more. "Let me tell you something else man, if she was alive out there and saw you coming, all methed out with your buck knife," Daryl knew exactly what road he was going down and slowly started towards him. "Geek ears 'round your neck; she would run in the other direction"

He launched forward. "Fuck you man, you don't know shit" He snarled trying to find a quick way past Rick so he could lay into Shane for ever thinking that kind of crap about Sophia and Neon, the rest of the group getting in between them as they got closer to the barn doors.

"Back off!" Rick yelled pushing Shane back a step before Lori stepped in to try and pull Shane back.

"Keep your hands off me"

"Just let me talk to Hershel, let me figure it out"

"What are you going to figure out?" Shane hollered starting towards Rick.

"If we're going to stay, if we're going to clear this barn I have to talk him into it, this is his land"

"Hershel sees those things in there as people," Dale leant his voice to the argument trying to calm everyone as he kept a level, informing tone. "Sick people, his wife, his stepson"

"You knew?"

"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel"

"And you waited the night?"

"I thought we could survive one more night," Dale snapped back at Shane briefly losing his cool. "We did, I was waiting until this morning to say something but Glenn wanted to be the one"

Rick looked to Glenn. "Have you told anyone else?"

Glenn looked away nervously and nodded. "First person I told was Neon, she told me I had to tell you otherwise she would, it- it slipped my mind after she got shot"

A sting of betrayal pierced Daryl's chest, Neon hadn't bothered to tell him, so either she didn't trust him or didn't care enough to tell him, he couldn't tell which hurt more, not being trusted or her not caring. The doors began to rattle and swing and he stepped back away from them, the fighting had caught the walkers attention and he could almost hear Neon's chiding tone in his head, how she'd be standing there shaking her head and telling him they were all idiots for fighting in front of a rickety old barn filled with god knows how many walkers. He turned away and started towards the stables, fuck Shane and what he thought, he was going to find Sophia and bring her back safe and unharmed, back to Carol and back to the group and then he was going to set into helping Neon find her two children, he was going to help their family reunite.

He threw open the tack room door and grabbed a saddle and bridle off the stand before heading into the stables; he glanced into one stall at Jake, the stallion was standing backed into the corner of his stall, head down, eyes droopy, tail down low, he looked almost sad. He bypassed Nelly, the mare that had thrown him, and started towards the chestnut gelding opposite her before hauling the saddle onto a stand and grunting in pain, the old western saddle had a good deal of weight behind it.

"You can't"

He glanced under his arm at Carol and pushed himself up. "I'm fine" He growled grabbing a halter off the hook and slipped into the stall.

"Hershel said you need to heal"

"Yeah, I don't care"

"Well I do," She stepped behind him. "So does Neon"

He snorted derisively shaking his head. "Yeah right," He turned to look at her as he put the halter on the gelding. "If she cared so much she would've told me about the barn"

"She would have had a good reason not to tell you Daryl," She sighed softly. "Rick's going out later to follow the trail"

"Yeah, well I ain't gonna sit around and do nothin'"

"No, you're going to go out there and get yourself hurt even worse," She had the same chastising tone a mother would use on their child. "We don't know if we're going to find her Daryl, we don't… I don't"

He turned back to look at her, in her eyes she was losing hope. He slowly stepped out of the stall and started towards her. "What?"

She looked away with tears in her eyes. "I can't lose you too," She whispered, a tear running down her face before she looked up at him. "Neon's going to need you, she's going to need someone to help her heal, someone to help her get back on her feet"

He looked at her before feeling the anger and confusion begin to bubble; he wasn't used to this shit, people caring about what happened to him, someone _needing_ him. He turned away and took his anger out on the saddle sitting on the stand; it landed only a few feet from him, his side flaring in pain as he twisted the muscles and stitches.

Carol rushed over, worry etched into her face. "Are you all right?"

He pushed her away. "Just leave me be," He snarled turning and walking out of the stables, the horses now restless from his anger. "Stupid bitch" He spat leaving her standing in the barn.

 

Daryl blinked looking up at the homestead before heading upstairs, he still wasn't quite sure how he'd gotten there but checking on Neon seemed like the best use of his time, perhaps even being able to get an answer out of her as to why she hadn't told him anything.

He stepped into the bedroom and pushed the door shut, Spud looked up from his spot lying beside her, her arms curled around him holding him close as she slept. He took her in for a moment, she looked better than she did the night before, the redness around her eyes had reduced, a bit of colour coming back into her skin, she was still a bit shaky but she had definitely improved. He started as she groaned softly shifting on the bed and opened her eyes a sliver looking around the room wearily. "Where the fuck am I?" She murmured hoarsely, voice broken and cracking as it stuck in her dry throat.

"Homestead"

She looked over at him, body still shaking slightly. "Wh…" She tried to sit up and groaned collapsing against the bed fighting through the pain before her body went still, eyes slipping shut as she relaxed, instead of fighting the pain she gave into it. He shifted on the seat and sighed settling back, the questions swimming through his head were making him tired, he was tired of everyone bullshitting and lying about everything, it was going to get someone killed. "Daryl?"

He glanced over at Neon as she looked up at him wearily. "Yeah, you blacked out" She winced and reached out with a shaky hand to grab the glass of water beside the bed only to lose it to the floor as it slipped out of her weak grip. He grabbed the glass off the floor and put it back on the tray pouring out another for her and handed her some pills from the tray before helping her drink, he put the glass on the tray as she collapsed against the bed, eyes slipping shut again. It made him wonder how much of an effort it was actually taking for her to stay awake let alone keep breathing; he had to admire her resolve, she wasn't going to lay down like some wounded mongrel dog and quit, she was going to lick her wounds, get up and keep fighting. "I got a bone to pick with you," She opened her eyes looking towards him and gave a short nod as she rested against the pillows. "Barn's full of Walkers," She nodded sleepily. "We were out there before havin' a look, Shane wants to up and leave without you or Sophia"

"So that's what all the pissin' and moanin' was about, was it?" She mumbled softly. "Piss poor idea to stand and have a row in front of a barn full of walkers, now isn't it?"

"Yeah," He felt a spike of anger. "Glenn said you knew, why didn't you say somethin'?"

She shifted to see him better, eyes half lidded, the drugs she'd taken were starting to take effect. "'Cause for one, I didn't find out until the other day and B, I told Glenn if he didn't tell everyone then I would," She closed her eyes almost drifting back off. "Gettin' him to _'man up'_ for a change," A sleepy smile played across her lips. "It's a full moon tonight, the faeries will be playin' in the forest, causin' mischief and plantin' mushrooms" She gave a sleepy grin, a soft weak almost childlike giggle coming from her.

_What the fuck?_ He frowned in confusion. "You sure _you_ ain't been eatin' 'shrooms?" He picked up the bottle of medication trying to figure out just what the hell it was that she'd taken. She grinned laughing before groaning in pain, her laughter dying out after that as she slipped away again leaving him to wonder just what the hell went on in her mind sometimes.


	34. Chapter 34

Neon woke with a start, yelling drifted through the house coming from somewhere in the distance. Pain flared through each and every fibre of her body as she pushed herself up and stumbled to the door, it had only been a few days since she'd been bled internally, according to Hershel, and only a day and a half since her high fever had broken. She bit back a choked cry as she collapsed against the wall of the hallway, she could feel the stitches tearing with each movement but she needed to know what was going on, she needed to see what was happening outside. She stumbled grabbing a hold of the doorframe, one arm wrapped around her torso as she tried to bite through the pain; she felt a bitter smile tug at her lips at how everyone would scold her for being so stupid, Hershel would definitely scold her for being out of bed since her fever had only just broken. She felt a cold chill sweep down her spine as the realisation, of just _how_ close she'd come to getting friendly with the reaper, hit her before the sounds of gunshots drew her attention, it wasn't just once but repetitive. Worry clawed at her, they wouldn't open fire for no reason, they would just be firing at nothing, even more so since Hershel had banned them from an open carry.

She stumbled grabbing a hold of the wooden balustrade skirting the porch and inhaled a sharp pained breath between her teeth as she moved slowly using the balustrade for support. The gunfire, she noted, was coming from the direction of the barn that housed the walkers but she couldn't see it yet. Spud whined beside her and nudged her hand. "I'm fine, pup" She murmured hoarsely before groaning and doubling over clutching onto one of the posts by the steps, she could see the barn now, see several people lined up outside with guns raised firing at the walkers spilling slowly out of its doors. A flash of pure pain shot through her choking her and she stumbled down the stairs almost collapsing onto her hands and knees on the grass, she shuddered clutching her arm around her torso before looking down and cursing as she saw the blood stain beginning to spread across her bandages. She forced herself to stay standing despite the pain trying to knock her out again, her grip on reality and consciousness slipping slowly through her fingers as more blood collected on her bandages to stain them wet. She staggered trying to compress the bleeding before coming to stop a few yards from the homestead, the pain flaring through her insides was like hellfire, it was wrapping around her lungs choking every breath she tried to take.

The small firefight had wound down now, bodies of walkers lay strewn across the ground riddled with bullet holes and everyone down there was stood still, Maggie clutching her father in shock and horror at what they had just witnessed. Neon stood numbly unable to move forward as more pain twisted throughout her body, she felt a pair of eyes on her and looked towards her brother before looking towards Daryl, the shotgun hanging limply at his side, his eyes fixed on hers. She staggered a step and grimaced doubling over holding her torso as more pain tore through her, she gritted her teeth and hissed out a breath as she watched him turn his attention back to the barn, the shotgun coming up again at the ready as another walker stumbled out into the light. Her heart wrenched hard in her chest as pain and sorrow wrapped around it in a vice like grip. _Oh god, Sophia._ She felt tears come to her eyes and quickly tried to push them away as her gut clenched, a spike of pain tearing through her as she choked on a dry sob. _I'm so sorry Carol._

Everyone in front of the barn seemed to be stunned into silence, none of them able to move even as Carol rushed forward; Daryl dropped the shotgun in his hands and grabbed her around the waist to stop her from running to the walker that used to be her daughter as it slowly stepped over corpses heading towards the group. There was complete silence over the entire farm, a heavy silence. She followed Rick's movements as he started forward and slid between Shane and Andrea drawing his revolver and readied it.

The Python went off with a bang that seemed to echo and she collapsed to her knees placing a hand over her mouth to stifle her sob, a realisation hit her as she watched the force of the bullet kick the walkers head back, the realisation that she would never find her kids, the realisation that even if she did there was a good chance that one or both would be just like Sophia. The little girl had been gone for just over a week, Connor and Amelia had been gone well over a month. The walls that she had built a long time ago crumbled as the fresh pain from her injury dragged her to the ground, the immoveable brickwork giving away to a flood of tears and a flood of thoughts she'd locked away behind the walls stones, the thoughts that now made her see just how fruitless her efforts had been, just how stupid she'd been to think she might ever see them again.

 

Quinn flinched and turned away as Rick's gunshot rang out, he heard Carol's pained sobs from off to his right and let his own gun drop to his side as he looked back at the walker, a shiver ran through his spine as a small niggling thought in the back of his mind broke free coming to his forethoughts and he quickly tamped it down, he didn't want to think of Connor and Amelia being in the same condition, he didn't want to think of what it would do to his sister. He lowered his head pushing away the tears and looked towards Carol who was sobbing into Daryl's shoulder before he managed to haul her up. "Don't look," He tried to turn her away from the sight. "Don't look" She shoved him away before rushing off away from the group.

Quinn watched her run and shook his head slightly before Beth's soft crying drew his attention and he saw her pull away from Jimmy and start moving towards the bodies strewn across the ground. He tried to grab a hold of her as she moved past him only to be pushed away as she rushed to one of the bodies before her screams rang out into the air as it grabbed her and tried to bite her. He rushed forward grabbing her around the middle hauling her back away from the body as Andrea put a scythe through the back of its skull. He left her slip from his grip as Hershel drew her into him. _This is just doesn't get any better, does it?_ He sighed mutely staring at all the bodies. He could still remember the day Boston had been overrun, the morning had been so calm, so bright and sunny, he and Ray had shared a pint with a full English breakfast before heading out to the local supermarket to stock up after hearing on the radio that Boston could be hit by the flu pandemic that was sweeping over Washington and other areas. He could remember his sister laughing and joking with a cigarette between her lips as she made breakfast, talking about how much she missed Connor and Amelia, how she couldn't wait to have them back home. He could remember how the day had slowly turned south, they'd seen sickly looking people during the morning, one woman had even run past them in the supermarket carpark screaming about a homeless that had bitten her, it had only taken a few hours and more people had become infected, the city quickly turning into a warzone when the military rolled in blockading the entrances and exits, tanks beginning to roam the streets. He could remember how his heart had hammered in his chest when they'd stared down that tank, how they'd barely missed its path of fire by escaping into a side street, it had been Ray's quick thinking in that moment that saved them.

He shook his head snapping from his reverie, everyone else had either left or were still stood staring at the bodies discussing what to do next. He turned away and glanced towards the homestead before a brown blur came rushing towards him, Spud circled his legs and grabbed a hold of his jeans leg pulling on it. "Lay off Spud, go keep Ray company" He nudged the dog away with his foot to which Spud growled and barked at him circling his legs once again. He sighed rolling his eyes and followed after him, when he raced ahead towards a body laying prone on the ground he broke into a sprint and dropped onto his knees beside his sister calling out for someone to help. "Shit Ray, what the hell have you done?" He carefully pushed her hair back from her face to look at it. "Why the bloody hell aren't you in bed?"

She shook her head weakly, she was slipping away again, probably from the pain coming from her wounds. "I can't do it Quinn," Her bloody wet hands clutched his. "I– I just can't"

"What the hell are you goin' on about?" Her eyes drifted wearily towards the barn and he looked back at it. "Ah shit, you saw all that?"

She nodded. "I had so much hope, so much faith they-they'd still be alive," She stammered briefly swallowing roughly. "But af-after seein' Sophia, seein' her like that…" She looked utterly exhausted as she shut her eyes. "They've been gone for so much longer"

Panic set in and tears burned his eyes as she spoke, he shook head at her words resting his hand against her cheek. "Don't you _dare_ start thinkin' like that, you fuckin' understand me? They have _you_ as a mother Ray, you've survived so much and taught them everythin', I don't want to fuckin' hear you say that ever again, you fuckin' hear me?" He lowered his voice forcing a smile. "An O'Rourke doesn't go down easy, we go down bloody and you're still standin', aren't you?"

Her fingers curled around the edge of his sleeve as she held onto it as tightly as she could and shook her head emphatically. "I can't do it anymore, Quinn; my children are gone and I'm never gonna see them again"

He shook his head and turned yelling out for help again as he pushed her onto her back and tried to scoop her up, this was just her moment of weakness after being strong for so many years, she was already weak from the gunshot but something had obviously broken inside her mind. "Please Ray," She moaned softly in pain and opened her lips to say something before closing them, her body suddenly becoming a dead weight in his arms. "I need Hershel, now!" He all but screamed as he rushed into the house.

Maggie looked up with raw eyes from her spot on the couch. "Oh god, get her on the bed, I'll go find him" She rushed off as he headed for the Ray's room and placed her back on the bed, Spud following closely at his heels.

"You have to keep up hope Ray, they'll be out there," He looked towards the window and sighed softly. "Somewhere"

"He's not here, he took the car," Maggie announced as she poked her head into the room. "I'll find Patricia and we'll see what we can do to help her"

He nodded smoothing back his hair and quickly began to undo the blood soaked bandages, the wound underneath looked so much better despite the blood, it wasn't nearly as puffy as it had been in the few days previous, he could only hope to all hell she wasn't bleeding internally again.


	35. Chapter 35

Daryl settled under a cluster of trees housing an old stone fireplace that had seen better days and slowly started to chip away at the long thick stick he'd found, making it sharp would be easy, making it straight would be a pain in the ass. "Moving to the suburbs?" He rolled his eyes not bothering to look up as her heard Lori's voice as she headed towards him. He honestly wanted nothing to do with anyone right now, not after what had gone down only a few hours before. "Listen, Beth's in some kind of catatonic shock, we need Hershel"

"Yeah? So what?" He continued to chip away at the end of the stick trying to get it as sharp as possible.

"So I need you to run into town real quick," She stated crouching down a few feet away from him. "Bring them all back" She waited for his answer and he continued to chip away at the stick. "Daryl?" She pushed for an answer after a few seconds.

He looked towards her briefly and stopped sharpening his makeshift arrow. "Your bitch went window shoppin', you want him go fetch him yourself," He turned his attention back to the arrow. "I got better things to do"

"What's the matter with you?" She snapped at him. "Why would you be so selfish?"

He growled lowly. "Selfish?" He stood gripping his knife. "Listen to me _Olive Oyl_ , I was out there lookin' for that little girl every single day," She stepped back as he carelessly waved the knife in her direction. "I took a bullet and an arrow in the process, so don't you tell me about getting' my hands dirty," He turned away from her. "You want those two idiots have a nice ride, I'm done lookin' for people" She was silent after his outburst and turned on her heel striding back towards the homestead as he went back to carving his arrow. He shook his head testing the tip of the arrow against his thumb and watched the thick red blood roll down from the small puncture, his eyes moved to Lori's fleeting form and then towards the homestead, he could remember seeing Neon standing only a few feet from the house, he remembered how their eyes had met briefly for a second before Sophia had stumbled out of the barn and Carol had broken down in tears. His eyes dropped to the arrow in his hands as he shook his head again, he didn't know if he'd be able to bare it if he had to put a bullet in her, if he had to end it for her. A shudder ran through his spine and a choking feeling spread through his chest at the thought, he quickly pushed away the feelings and decided his only course of action was to steer clear of her, that decision alone brought and almost overwhelming sense of sadness to him. _She's smart, she'll get it. Not like we were serious with each other anyway._

 

Daryl slammed the hammer against the end of the last stake for his tent and looked around, the spot he'd retreated to was isolated, far away from the camp and far away from the homestead, it was sheltered within a small alcove of trees beside the old stone fireplace; it was a place he could be alone.

His anger flared as he remembered that Carol hadn't even bothered to move from the RV to attend Sophia's funeral, he'd gone through hell for nothing, Neon had taken a bullet for nothing. Another twist of anger swelled in his chest and curled through his organs, the hammer in his hand hurled towards the brickwork of the fireplace, several of the stones broke and crumbled under the hammers weight and he watched as their remains fell to the ground before he exhaled through his teeth and turned his ire towards the tent he'd finished setting up, he wanted nothing more than to tear into something, anything. The sound of boots scuffling through the grass made him turn and he saw Quinn, dried blood staining his hands and the front of his shirt. "What the fuck do you want?"

"It's Ray," A jolt ran through his spine, something was wrong, Quinn's tone was off. "She saw what happened, saw Sophia… saw Rick put her down"

"So? Ain't my fuckin' problem, she's your sister not mi–" He grunted and winced as the back of his head collided with a harsh smack with the rough bark of a nearby tree, Quinn's forearm pressed heavily against his throat and anger burned in the man's eyes. Fear shot through him, the position was all too familiar to him from his youth.

"Yeah, she _is_ your problem because she fuckin' _cares_ about you," Quinn snarled viciously at him. "And don't give me that bullshit that you don't give a shit about her because I know you damn well do," His eyes were dark, he was hurting and lashing out. "If you didn't care about her you wouldn't have gone out lookin' for her, you would have left her to rot like that other bastard wanted too" The forearm against his throat applied more pressure almost closing off his airway completely before Quinn pushed back and stepped away running a hand through his hair. "You didn't see the look in her eyes when I found her, she– she's losin' hope, she thinks she's never goin' to see Connor and Amelia again, she thinks that if she does they're gonna be like Sophia," Daryl's eyes drifted towards the homestead, so many different emotions swirled within him and he didn't know quite what to do with them. "She doesn't want to go on anymore, she's losin' the will to _live_ Daryl," There was desperation in Quinn's tone. "The day Boston was overrun I watched her put a bullet in a little old lady that used to watch Amelia after school sometimes, I watched her put a bullet in one of the guys we worked with. She never batted an eyelid, but never once did I see her want to put a bullet in her own head, never once saw that look of goddamn pain and desperation that I saw today," Quinn scrubbed his palms over his eyes and sighed heavily into them. "Amelia, Connor and I are the only family she's had for a long time, and to lose them…" He shook his head. "It's goin' to _kill_ her, she's done fightin', done tryin' to live, she hate's bein' a burden on–"

"She ain't a fuckin' burden!" He snapped cutting Quinn off.

"You tried tellin' her that?" Quinn shot back angrily. "Because the look in her eye, the smile on her lips when she looks at you, I've never seen that before. She never used to look at Clayton that way, never looked at anyone else that way before either and I'll tell you now, 'cause she'll never fuckin' admit to it; not to you, not to me, not to anyone. She _hate's_ not knowin' where they are, she _hate's_ herself for lettin' them go to Atlanta, and she hate's bein' unable to defend herself, unable to even go out and _look_ for them"

"She's gettin' better, she'll be back on her feet in no time"

Quinn gave a cold bitter laugh and motioned towards the homestead. "Maggie and Patricia are in the house right now tryin' to patch her up again because she dragged her sorry crippled arse outside to see what the hell was happenin', she ripped open her stitches, she's bloody lucky she ain't bleedin' internally again"

"Where the fuck is Hershel? Shouldn't he be patchin' her up?"

Quinn shrugged. "He's fucked off somewhere else, gone and checked out after that mess with the barn," His shoulder's slumped. "All I'm sayin' is you might want to go and see her before _she_ checks out completely. I don't know how much more she can take, _fuck_ , she was in _tears_ when I found her, I haven't seen her fuckin' cry in _years_ , hell, I don't think I even saw her cry when she came home from that shit overseas"

Daryl looked towards the homestead and then back at his camp, he wanted to say to hell with everyone and everything, tell them to all fuck off and wing in on his own again but as much as he wanted to do that he knew Quinn was right, he cared about Neon. Hell, he cared about the whole group, they were like one big fucked up family after being together for so long.

A heavy sigh drew him from his thoughts and he looked towards Quinn as he gave a weak huff of a laugh. "You're as bad as she is; it's like tryin' to draw blood from a fuckin' stone, talkin' to you. Ray is out of it in the house, Maggie and Patricia have done what they can for now, just go and see her at the very least, let her down gently if you're goin' down that road," He watched Quinn start to walk away. "Last thing I want is to be buryin' her too"

 

Daryl hovered in the doorway of the bedroom and watched Neon sleep for a moment, she had curled herself around Spud, the rosary she'd leant to Carol was now hooked around the bedpost closest to her. He kicked off his boots shoving them to one side and settled carefully on the bed. Seeing her like this, so vulnerable, it made him angry but it most of all it made him feel guilty, guilty that he couldn't stop it from happening to her. He shifted trying to get comfortable and laid out on his side carefully pushing a few loose strands of hair from her face before she groaned lowly and opened her eyes, their colour was much stronger that it had been previously. "Hey"

"Hey" She mirrored his reply in a despondent voice and shivered slightly before slowly beginning to stroke Spud's head and down the length of his spine. "What're you doin' in here?"

He shrugged lightly running a finger down her cheek stalling at the corner of her lips. "Quinn–"

She snorted derisively. "Kinda figured he'd stick his bloody nose in," She groused before shaking her head and pulling away, the look in her normally bright eyes was devoid of anything, it was just blank, lifeless. "You can go now" She grimaced as she shifted onto her back and turned away from him obviously trying to end the conversation.

He growled mutely and tipped her face back towards him roughly. "He told me what you said, 'bout how you're losin' hope, don't think you're gonna find your kids, how–" The words stuck in his throat, saying them out loud made them real and he didn't like the implications that came with them. "How you're givin' up"

Her eyes slipped shut and she stubbornly refused to open them and look at him again. "What the hell do you care?" A hint of anger coloured her tone. "It's not like they're your kids, you've never even _met_ them before," He felt the stinging bite of her words and withdrew his hand as if he'd been burnt. "Watchin' Rick shoot Sophia made me realise that my kids don't stand a fuckin' chance, they've been gone since the start of this and I still haven't found _anythin'_ to tell me if they're still alive" Her eyes flicked open, a vicious storm brewing behind their glassy exterior.

"Yeah, but they had _you_ as a mother, they're _your_ kids," He didn't know what else he could say to convince her. "You told me you taught your boy everythin' he know, taught him how to handle a gun, taught him how to survive; he ain't goin' to let anythin' happen to him or his little sister until they find you"

The storm brewing in her eyes swirled brighter before slowly dying away and they moved towards the rosary hooked around the bedpost. "Carol came in before, told me how you ripped into Andrea when Hershel was tryin' to fish the bullet out of my guts, how you spilled it about my kids"

He grimaced and scratched at the back of his head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to, it kinda just slipped out"

She shrugged wincing in pain and placed a hand on her stomach for a moment. "Doesn't matter, Rick and Carol already knew, surprised the rest of the camp didn't know already" She reached out with a shaky hand carefully linking their fingers together, a sincere but slightly awkward gesture. "You know, Carol said you ditched camp and decided to fly solo in one of the paddocks," A smile cracked at her lips. "Manky bitch hermit"

He gave her a half-hearted glare. "What did you just fuckin' call me?"

"You heard me, saighdeoir; I called you a bitch hermit"

He shook his head chuckling softly and shifted closer to her brushing a hand through her hair before carefully placing a kiss to her lips; a sweet, genuine kiss, one of the only things he could do to convey the thoughts and emotions in his head. Their lips parted briefly, foreheads resting against one another's and his eyes shifted towards their linked fingers as she squeezed them. Spud moved to lay at the bottom of the bed and watched them as he moved to lay beside her. He could still hear Quinn's words playing through his head, that if he was going to go down that road to let her down gently. _Hell, would it really be that bad to have a lady like Neon at my side? She ain't no damsel in distress, she can hold her own in a fight just fine. She ain't afraid to dig in and get dirty, she ain't afraid to speak her mind. People like us don't need someone to protect us all the time, we need someone to watch our backs._ A small smile crept to his lips as he watched over her as she began to doze and he knew then and there that he wasn't going to let her slip away from him. _Ain't no one better to do that. Ain't no one better to look out for me and keep me warm at night. Ain't no one better to have a future with._ He grinned letting his eyes slip shut and squeezed her hand lightly before feeling her squeeze back, a small but reassuring gesture that she was still with him.


	36. Chapter 36

Neon groaned softly trying to shift on the bed only to find a weight resting over her hip pinning her in place, she looked towards the obstruction through bleary eyes and found it to be a hand, a hand that was linked to the arm of one Daryl Dixon. She searched her mind briefly for an answer before recalling the previous day's events, how he'd come in after everyone else had set out looking for Lori, the morning's light was just beginning to break through the curtained windows and whether or not they'd found Lori was beyond her knowledge. She shifted closer to Daryl smiling contently as his warmth wrapped around her, after her marriage had ended she hadn't bothered to try dating again just focused solely on her children and making her business prosper. She curled her fingers through Daryl's and let her eyes fall shut, she felt as if she'd just the Lympstone commando course again but without the exhilarating sense of accomplishment afterwards, the dull throb of pain in her abdomen refused to let her sleep any longer but the strength her body was sapping from her to repair the wound refused to allow her to stay awake. She shifted again trying to get comfortable and heard a soft mumble from behind her, something along the lines of _'fuckin' lie still already'_. She smiled with a mute chuckle and settled down before a dull ache began to grow in her chest as her thoughts strayed from the happiness she felt in that moment to her missing children.

**=February 2005=**

Quinn squeezed her shoulder lightly before stepping into the classroom with the principal to speak with the teacher and pull Connor out of class. She'd been gone nearly two and a half months longer than what she was supposed to, one month for the last minute objective of her mission, another because she'd been found by insurgents behind enemy lines, and two weeks had been spent laid up in hospital undergoing surgeries and shrink appointments until she'd been given the all clear by the doctors and her CO's, during the entire time she'd been unable to see or contact her family, and damn it, she'd bloody missed Christmas, which pissed her off to no end.

A broad grin wound to her lips seeing Connor stall in the doorway of the classroom before a cry of happiness ripped out of him and he bolted towards her nearly throwing her off her feet as he grabbed her around the middle burying his face into her and wrapped his arms around her bruised torso. "Ma, Ma you're home!" He sobbed clutching onto her as if she would slip away.

She staggered leaning heavily into her crutches to keep herself upright. "Of course I am," She leant back tipping his chin up. "Did you ever doubt me?" She smiled brushing away the tears from his cheeks with her thumb. "You've grown so much, a stór"

"Da said you were gone, said you were never comin' back" He buried his face into her again, his tears leaving large wet patches in their wake.

Anger flared through her veins, how dare Clayton be so callous and say something so cruel to their son. " _Nothin'_ , will _ever_ keep me from my babies, you understand me Connor, _nothin'_ , come hell or high water, I will _always_ come home to you and Amelia"

His grip tightened around her waist as he nodded before pulling away rubbing his eyes and looked to the crutches she was using. "What happened Ma? Did you hurt yourself?"

She shrugged ruffling his hair. "Guess you could say that, the doc's had to patch me up before I could come home"

He nodded rubbing at his eyes again. "Do you have to leave again?"

"Not for a long time, you've got me all to yourself until I'm all healed up"

A smile spread across his lips. "Really?"

"Really" She reassured him. "What do you say to skivin' off for the rest of the day? We can go home and watch cartoon's on the telly"

His smiled widened as he nodded and rushed back into his classroom to get his things.

**=Present Day=**

Neon played with the rosary around her neck and sighed softly, sorrow still clinging to the edges of her mind, still trying to consume her even if she did have another person depending on her now; her eyes shifted to Daryl as he slept and she smiled brushing a piece of hair from his face. She'd missed Christmas that year, she had supposed to have been back in time but alas things had gone to the dogs and she'd wound up tied to a chair being tortured for information. She tried to push the memory from her mind and focus on something else.

**=August 2009=**

Connor watched intently as she corrected his stance before she gave him a nod and waved her hand towards the paper target in a _'go ahead'_ motion and stepped back. Having people that owed her favours was great, having people that owed her favours and owned a gun range was even better, it made for some interesting family outings, like the current one, an entire range to themselves so she could teach Connor and Amelia how to handle a gun. She watched Connor fire. "Fuck" He swore as the recoil threw his aim off for the second shot.

"Language" She scolded clipping her son around the back of his head before readying her Desert Eagle. "Don't fight the recoil," She took a shot and another hitting the target once near the heart and once in the head. "It just fucks up your hands"

"And you tell me to mind my language" Connor stated, a grin beginning to split his lips.

"I'm an adult, _you_ are not" She reminded him. "Remember, it's _adult_ language for a reason" He rolled his eyes at her turning back to the target as she turned away to help Amelia. She knelt behind her daughter helping her keep her arms up, the girls eyes squeezing shut as she pulled the trigger on the small bobcat and a delighted squeal slipping from her as she hit the target in the chest, the paper wavering slightly before falling still. "Good shot, a stór," She kissed her daughter's temple. "Now just try to keep your eyes open when you fire, you want to watch your target so you can get in a second shot before they recover"

Amelia nodded and raised her gun again, this time trying to keep her eyes open as she fired.

**=Present Day=**

Tears blurred Neon's vision for a moment before she blinked them away, she felt the urge to run, to escape, and drown her sorrows in a fifth of gin. A chill swept over the room and she shuddered moving closer to Daryl trying to steal more of his warmth, she watched him sleep and smiled before grinning softly and touching her lips to the tip of his nose, his eyelid fluttered slightly before falling still and she stifled a chuckle curling her hand over his atop her hip.

**=October 2007=**

"Ma! Ma look at this one!"

Amelia's voice carried through the pet store and she knew it had been a bad idea to come inside but both Connor and Quinn had taken Amelia's side leaving her to give a heavy sigh and follow after them reluctantly. She knew what would happen and wanted to avoid the inevitable outcome. She knelt down looking at the small black and white Border Collie puppy. "He's a right cutie"

"Can we get him? Please, can we get him?" Amelia begged giving her wide pleading eyes.

She shook her head. "Mr. Lowe doesn't want animals in the building, you know that"

Her daughter pouted, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "But I want a puppy!"

"I know you do a stór," She put an arm around Amelia's shoulders and wiped at her tears. "But right now we can't have one," She looked at the little puppy as it whined and cocked it's head to one side. "Maybe if we get our own place with a big backyard, then we can get one, but right now we can't"

Tears began to ebb down Amelia's cheeks. "But I want him"

She sighed mutely shaking her head. "I know Amelia, but we can't have a dog"

Amelia pouted looking up at her pathetically with big wide puppy eyes, her lips cracked into a lopsided smile at the look, it would never work, they both knew that but she looked damn cute doing it.

**=Present Day=**

Neon felt Daryl shift and grinned softly as he began to stir. "Mornin' saighdeoir"

"Mornin'" He grumbled burying his face into her shoulder placing a lingering kiss to the skin. She smiled closing her eyes and savoured the feeling before flinching away spitting curses as his hand moved catching the aching stitches in her torso. "Shit," He swore ripping his hand away and jerked upright. "Did I catch them?"

"Don't worry about it" She exhaled and rolled onto her back biting through the pain as the movement jostled her injury.

He exhaled and flopped back against the pillows groaning softly before throwing his arm over his eyes. "Too fuckin' early"

"I agree wholeheartedly with that sentiment but I can't sleep, what's your excuse?" He removed his arm from his eyes and let them sink lower to the obvious tent he was pitching in his jeans. "Ah! Well, as much as I would love to help you out with that, I can't, I'm pretty sure I'd pass out," A smirk slipped to his lips, mouth opening to speak before she cut him off. "That was _not_ intended to stroke your ego, love"

He shut his mouth still grinning before pulling her in close. "I got a question"

"Shoot" She shifted carefully to lean against him, her head resting on his shoulder and an arm draped lazily over his stomach.

"Quinn keep's callin' you Ray… Why?"

"Nickname," Her eyes rested on Spud as the dog twitched and growled in his dreams. "Like how you call me Neon or I call you saighdeoir"

"So what _is_ your name, then?"

"Reagan"

" _Ray-_ gan," He repeated the name slowly, testing it on his tongue.

"Yes, _Ray_ -gan not _Ree-_ gan"

"Kinda suits you"

"Glad to see you agree," She motioned towards Spud as he began to wake. "Do me a favour and let him out while I nip to the bathroom"

He gave a nod pushing himself up and moved to get off the bed but not before his lips touched hers in a brief kiss. She had to admit for a guy that was so rough around the edges that she could almost cut herself on him he sure knew how to convey his tenderness and delicacy through a kiss, although it did confuse her as to _why_ he didn't just come out and say what he felt, she didn't take him as a shy sort of guy, awkward and secretive and maybe a little bit defensive at times but definitely not shy.


	37. Chapter 37

"My bloody sister is goin' to kill herself if she doesn't let up," Daryl looked up as Quinn thumped down next to him on the stairs outside the homestead with a heavy sigh. "She just doesn't know when to quit"

"What's she doin' now?" He queried as he checked the arrow in his hand before snapping it in two, the tip of it was beginning to dull and split, and the fletching was beginning come loose.

"She's up and about on her bloody feet instead of just relaxin' and healin'," He caught Quinn run a hand through his hair out the corner of his eye. "She'll pop a stitch or two if she's not careful"

"She doesn't seem like the type to sit on her ass"

"She's not, and that'll be what gets her killed, it's only been a week since she got shot and she's already gettin' antsy to get back into it"

"Do you really blame her?" He queried.

"I'll bloody blame her if she gets a damn infection 'cause she won't sit still," Quinn groused lowly before sighing heavily into his hands as he scrubbed them over his face. "I love my sister, but she's a bloody stupid git sometimes, too much damn pride to admit when somethin's wrong"

That piqued his curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"Huh?" Quinn's shoulder's jumped slightly. "You mean about Ray?" He nodded and Quinn rolled his shoulders. "Ray's actin', on the outside she's puttin' up a front to everyone that she's fine and dandy, on the mend, but she's not doin' to great, there's this dullness in her eyes, you can see it if you really look"

Daryl thought about the last time he'd seen her, it had been the night before when he'd been turfed out of her room so she could get some proper rest, he could remember her rolling over with a lazy smile and giving him a lingering kiss goodbye before he'd left, he hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary with her. "She was all righ' last night when I left her"

"Her actin' all right is very convincin', but trust me, really look, especially when she thinks she's not bein' watched, and you'll see what I mean"

He let silence fill the gap between them as he thought about everything Quinn had just told him, he didn't know Reagan as well as her brother did but from everything he'd seen she was fine and slowly coming back to the person she was before, she'd even sat down and talked with Andrea about what had happened, forgiven her to a degree after citing something from some science guy he had a vague recollection of hearing about in school.

He twirled the broken arrow around his fingers for a moment before casting a look over his shoulder at the house and briefly wondered if Reagan was feeling up to a wander around the farm. He stood tossing the useless arrow off to the side before making his way inside and headed upstairs.

Daryl paused in the hallway outside Reagan's room as he heard a voice whispering the same mantra, over and over, and slowly crept closer to her door listening for a moment. "I'm here, I'm alive, this isn't real, this isn't what's in my present" He moved to the doorway and peered inside seeing Reagan sitting on the edge of the bed staring at her trembling hands. He watched as she shut her eyes tight, taking in several slow deep breaths, before opening them again and looking away from her hands to scan the room. As her eyes landed on him he felt a jolt of concern run through him, she looked so lost and afraid, her eyes wide in a sort of shock at whatever it was he couldn't see. "Daryl…"His name left her lips with a dry crack and she flinched slightly at the sound, her hands curling on instinct.

"You okay?"

She stared at him for a moment before looking down at her hands and watching them tremble. "I just…" She trailed off before motioned to her head. "Things aren't so great up here right now"

He hesitated in the doorway; he didn't know how to help her with what she was going through. "Want me to find your brother?"

"Quinn…" She sounded distant, and shook her head looking back up at him with that same wide eyed and slightly unfocused gaze. "No, I'm okay, I don't– I just…" She looked back down at her hands flexing them slowly for a moment. "I know it's not real, I know they're not covered in blood, I just can't…" She shook her head squeezing her eyes shut as she buried her head into her hands and hunched over slightly, breath becoming more ragged as she dug her nails into her scalp.

He refrained from moving towards her, unsure if it would make things better or worse for her, he'd never seen her in this sort of state before and it scared him. "I don't know what to do, Reagan, what do you want me to do?"

There was silence for a moment before she extended a shaking hand, palm up, in his direction and he took this as a sign that she wanted his hand and reached out clasping his hand around her's. When he felt her tug gently on his hand he moved towards her and took a seat beside her on the bed, she rested her head against his shoulder, hand still clutching his own, as she began to take a few deep breaths. He felt the tremble through her body slowly begin to ease as her breathing began to fall back into a normal rhythm, and began to draw a small circle across the back of her hand with his thumb. "Thank you" He almost missed the whispered words.

"For what?"

"For this, for helpin' me, it's a lot to ask from someone"

He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I don't mind helpin' you out, Reagan, you helped me out plenty"

Silence stretched between them only broken by her steady deep breaths before she finally spoke again. "I don't get it"

"Get what?"

"I– I trust you, if anyone else had seen me like this I would have cussed them out in every damn language I know, I would have sent them runnin'," He looked down at her as she spoke and saw her eyes widen slightly as if coming to some sort of realisation. "God, it's been so long since I've been able to trust someone like this that it feels so fuckin' alien to me that it's not even funny"

Trust. He thought about the word, he'd never trusted anyone except his brother but now, now he trusted her, and he couldn't even tell when he'd started. "I ain't ever trusted anyone except Merle, he's the only one that ever looked out for me"

"And now?"

"Now I trust you" He confessed, and continued to draw small circles across the back of her hand, he found it comfortable to just sit in silence beside her with her weight resting against his shoulder, they didn't need to talk or fill the silence with strained or forced conversation. He looked down at her as he felt her weight shift and more of it lean against him, and found her beginning to doze off, a smile tugged at his lips and he shifted moving to lay down on the bed and pulled her down with him, if she was sleeping then she wasn't overdoing it, and if she wasn't overdoing it then she would heal faster, something he wanted more than anything right now.


	38. Chapter 38

Daryl took a quick glance up and down the hallway before slipping into the bedroom where Reagan was, Hershel had given everyone strict orders to stay away from her so she could rest up and heal after she'd begun vomiting after the previous night's dinner. "Hey saighdeoir, to what do I owe this pleasure?" He jumped slightly at the sound of her voice and his eyes drifted over her, her skin had paled out and was slick with sweat, her damp hair was slicked back from her face and her eyes rimmed with red again.

"How're you feelin'?"

She shrugged shifting onto her side as he took a seat on the chair beside the bed. "Feel like the bloody dogs bollocks," She chuckled weakly before grimacing and turning away grabbing the bucket next to the bed to empty the contents of her stomach into with a moan of pain, hands shaking as she put it back down and wiped at her mouth with a towel from the side table. "Do us a solid and fetch a wet would you…" She paused before her shoulders slumped slightly. "Drink, I mean a drink"

He filled a glass from the bathroom sink and handed it to her watching as she washed out her mouth. "You look like shit"

"Cheers you bloody git, that's just what I needed to hear," She groused and then grimaced, body curling slightly as she tried to resist throwing up again. "Everythin' I fuckin' eat comes back up"

The room had been pitched in darkness since the curtains had been drawn, only a small crack of light shining through the tiny parting at the top where they didn't meet properly. He watched her silently as she rested an arm over her eyes and then grinned decided to tease her a little. "Don't suppose you'd be up to drinkin' then, or maybe a bit of roasted squirrel"

She gave him an utterly filthy look from underneath her arm. "Please don't," She turned onto her side again ready to reach of the bucket. "Just thinkin' about it is makin' my guts churn"

He leant forward in the seat to look at her. "At least you didn't see the walker we found when we were back on the highway, some poor fucker tried to hang himself after he got bit, rest of the geeks chewed all the flesh off his legs, left him swingin' like a big meat piñata"

Her face paled and she grabbed the bucket emptying whatever was in her stomach into it before shuddering, another grimace of pain crossing her features. "Prick" She muttered as she reached for the towel with shaking hands and wiped at her mouth before flopping back onto the bed with a low groan.

"Sorry darlin', just too temptin'"

"Well try and refrain from doin' it, otherwise I'll throw that bloody bucket at you"

"Nah," He laughed. "You wouldn't do that"

She glared at him as she shifted her arm from her face. "Care to test that theory, saighdeoir?"

He cast her a broad grin. "I'm all right, _Reagan_ "

She rolled her eyes hiding them away again and glanced over at the door as Patricia stepped inside. "No," She shook her head. "Please take it away"

"Hershel wants you to try and eat something"

"Oh god" She groaned getting up and stumbled towards the bathroom shutting the door behind her.

Patricia sighed placing the tray down on the side table. "Think you can get her to eat? Hershel's getting worried that this will take a toll on her, he doesn't want her losing too much weight"

"What makes you think she'll eat if _I_ ask her too?" He queried looking towards the bathroom door as the sound of running water began to filter out.

"She's closer to you than she is to me"

He looked towards the bowl of soup before he stood. "Give me a minute, she's got some stuff in her 'Am that'll probably go down better than proper food" He made his way out to the 'Am and rifled through the boot before finding exactly what he was looking for, M.R.E's. He could remember she'd said they tasted like nutritious cardboard at one point during one of their drunken late night conversations. He grabbed a handful and made his way back inside before handing them to Patricia. "She should be able to stomach those"

The woman nodded heading back into the kitchen to make it up and he returned to the bedroom.

 

Daryl leant against the wall of the living room; originally they'd been talking about what to do about the person Rick and the others had brought back but that topic had been dropped.

"So what exactly is making Neon so sick?" Lori queried sitting on the edge of the sofa looking up at Hershel.

"I have a feeling it's her injury, she's lucky the bullet missed her stomach and other vital organs but it's possibly going to be a while before she can stomach a proper meal," The elder man turned his attention on him with an expectant look. "Thankfully she can keep down the M.R.E's, are there anymore?"

He gave a jerk of a nod. "Yeah, I'll go get 'em" He pushed himself off the wall and headed for the 'Am to collect the M.R.E's. He returned with a half filled box and handed it off to Patricia.

"There's one other thing I'm worry about with her," Hershel voiced to the group. "Her mental wellbeing, she seems…" He paused. "Distant, I guess would be the right word here, now I know she's injured and probably not used to being in this kind of situation, from dealing with her I can see she is a very independent woman but she's slipping into some sort of state of depression," Hershel's eyes went to Quinn. "Is there anything we can do to try and bring her out of this?"

Quinn scratched his head for a minute before shrugging lightly. "Short of pullin' a miracle out of your arse, pardon my language," He directed his apology to Patricia. "And givin' her Connor and Amelia, the only thing I can suggest is givin' her pen and paper, you'd be surprised at the creative spark she has given the chance and fuel," His lips twitched at a smile and he laughed softly. "Don't be at all surprised if you find a hundred and one technical sketches on how to creatively kill a shuffler litterin' the floor"

Shane gave a snort and shook his head. "Does she honestly think her kids are still alive? They've got to have been gone ten times longer than Sophia was"

"Aye, the rottin' bitch does think they're still alive," Everyone attention snapped to the stairwell to see Reagan leaning against the wall for support. "And if you think otherwise you can go and thoroughly fuck yourself with a baseball bat wrapped in a piece of rusted barbed wire," Her eyes narrowed at Shane as if begging him to start a fight with her. "'Cause you know what? They're _my_ children; they've got _my_ blood in their veins. My son is seventeen and I can guarantee you that he's a far better shot than _you_ will ever be, I taught him everythin' he bloody knows and trust me, he knows how to protect himself," A dry laugh escaped her and a wry smile adorned her lips. "I spent more than enough bloody time speakin' with his principal over him fightin' at school"

Daryl's lips curved in a small smile at the fire she spoke with, the _hope_ that she would find her children.

"Should you even be up yet?" Andrea queried.

"I felt better, decided to take a short walk," She shrugged, an angry fire simmering in her eyes. "Wanted to test myself a little"

It was Shane that interrupted them. "Do you honestly think they're still alive?"

She growled and shifted into an aggressive stance, Spud stood at her side mirroring her. "I didn't scour an entire shuffler infested city just to give up now, not after everythin' I've been through; I'm goin' to find them with or without anyone's help, because you know what? I _never_ asked to stay with the camp, I don't _expect_ you to help me" She spat out her words putting emphasis behind them before her eyes met his and she looked away unable to hold his gaze. "I have endured hell's that would break any one of you in a heartbeat, endured them and come out stronger from them, this," She motioned around her. "Is just another big test of endurance, strength, and will, and you know what? I'm goin' to come out stronger from it, either road it goes down, I don't care, but I'm gettin' my closure and it'll either be in the form of them alive and well or by me havin' to put a bullet in them myself" She let her words linger before turning away and heading back upstairs signalling an end to the conversation.

Daryl cast a glare in Shane's direction and shook his head pushing himself off the wall and headed outside, Reagan would be in no mood for company, she would want to be alone to stew in her anger for a while. As he headed towards his tent he made a silent promise to her and to himself that he would help her reunite with her children.


	39. Chapter 39

Peace and quiet, it was what Reagan had been craving and the only place she could get it was in the stables. It had been a day since she'd healed enough to keep down a meal and today was the first day she'd actually been out of the house since she'd been shot almost two weeks ago. She'd tired quickly of fake sympathies and comfort and had begun to find it suffocating, she needed freedom to stretch her wings and clear her mind least it fracture and she become even more of a danger to people, ever since her torture she'd always been afraid that her mind would fracture and she'd completely break from reality.

A breeze swept through the stables drawing her out of her mind and she resumed grooming Jake, the body brush moving in long fluid strokes over his back and sides, his head dropping as every muscle in his back relaxed. An almost paralyzing fear made her stop as her hands began to shake and tension tighten painfully in her chest, that fear mixed with her anger was what had caused her to start become reclusive, start pushing everyone, including her brother and Daryl, away. It was the same fear that she had felt as only a tiny lance when she'd last laid in bed beside Daryl, the fear of finally opening up a part of herself that was so damaged and scarred that she wasn't even sure if it was usable anymore, the fear that after so long she had found someone that actually got where she came from, that that very same someone was just as damaged and emotionally scarred as she was. After all, damaged souls did tend to gravitate towards one another.

"I don't think I've ever seen him look so good before"

Reagan's shoulder's jumped and her hands clenched tightly as she whirled around to face the owner of the voice before finding Hershel standing in the doorway and began to relax slightly. "It's relaxin', for the both of us," She scratched the stallion's hindquarters. "How's Beth doin'?" She queried remembering that when first come out to the barn she'd walked right into the middle of Maggie laying into Andrea about leaving the suicidal girl alone.

"She'll be all right. I managed to stitch her wound, thankfully it wasn't too deep"

"That's good," She looked down at her own hands and knew that if she'd been in Beth's place it wouldn't have been a piece of broken mirror slashing up her wrists, she would have ended it quickly and painlessly with a bullet. "While I agree with lettin' someone make their own decision's sometimes it's not always the wisest choice, lettin' someone step over that edge, to encourage them to make that choice," She shook her head and looked up. "Sometimes the decision they make is irreversible and they often don't realise that until it's too late"

"You sound as if you're talking from experience"

She flinched slightly, perhaps she was, she had been to that edge and almost fallen until someone drew her back. "When I first retired I found it hard to adjust to civvie life again and I was still tryin' to cope with what happened to me and with my PTSD," She explained holding his gaze, somehow he had a calming aura and it helped put her at ease. "I was alone one day, middle of an attack, sittin' on the edge of the bed, gun on the side table and writin' out a letter when all of a sudden I hear _'Are you writin' a letter to gramps, Ma?'_ ," Shame clawed at her as she remembered the day, she had never told anyone about what she'd been about to do, not Quinn, not her father, and definitely neither of her children but Hershel was continuing to listen to her story without interjection. "Seein' my boy standin' in the doorway and holdin' him close, it's what grounded me that day, and it's what shook me up enough to realise I needed help"

Hershel stepped closer and placed a hand on her shoulder squeezing it gently before leaving the stall, both knew there were no words that could be offered that wouldn't sound fake or condescending and she was actually happy for that small gesture as she went back to grooming the stallion.

 

Reagan trudged towards the stable, the sun beginning to set off to her left casting a golden glow across everything in its path. She wanted five minutes to herself, five minutes so she could air everything clouding her mind to someone who couldn't relay it onto someone else. The scent of whatever was cooking wafted on the wind and she grimaced as her stomach churned, still unable to handle a proper meal except for soup and M.R.E's. She stepped into the stables bee lining for Jake's stall and slipped inside.

It was only a few minutes after that she heard another set of footsteps.

"Hey, Neon, you in here?"

She sighed burying her face into Jake's neck and let her shoulders sag. _Five minutes, five minutes was all I wanted. Why can't I have it alone?_ She didn't bother to respond hoping they would leave.

"Hey, you not hear me or somethin'?"

She didn't have to turn and look at Daryl to know he was already raking his eyes over her, assessing her condition. She'd overheard Hershel telling everyone that she was recovering well, that he expected she would be up and on her feet in no time, he'd also come to her later on and told her if she so wished she could move back to her tent though he was willing to allow her the upstairs bedroom for another week. "What do you want?" She asked tiredly after a few long seconds.

"Came to see how you were," He stepped closer and moved to her left reaching out to stroke the stallion's face. "Hershel said you were lookin' better, figured you might want some company"

"I've got all the company I need right now," She spoke tonelessly, eyes never wandering from Jake's jet black coat until she felt fingertips brush back a strand of hair and quickly jerked away from it shaking her head. "Don't"

His hand fell limply to his side; the look on his face was a shocked sort of confusion. "What the hell's wrong with you? A week ago you were all right with me gettin' close and now you're pushin' me away, pushin' _everyone_ away"

"And?" She queried dismissively, she'd been struggling with what to do about her growing feelings towards him and in a snap decision had decided it was best for the both of them if they called it quits. Eventually one or both of them would wind up bit or dead and she didn't want to open herself up to that sort of hurt and she wasn't willing to subject him to it either.

" _And_?" His voice broke and rose an octave. "All you've got to fuckin' said is _'And?'_ " He grabbed her shoulders and she tensed as he forced her to turn and look at him, his grip tight and unwilling to let her physically move away from him, though she knew a quick hard pinch at his trapezius would cripple his arm temporarily and force him to let her go, but a part of her was also curious as to what he actually wanted with her. "I ain't lettin' you slip away, I don't give a shit what I gotta do to get you to come back but I ain't lettin' you slip away, not now, not after everythin' you've done" The emotions were raw in his eyes, the words were there, everything he wanted to cry out in frustration at her was waiting there in his eyes.

"Whatever you've got to bloody say, you might as well spit it out, because I can fuckin' see it in your eyes Daryl, you've got a shitload more to say to me" She tried to keep her tone even, passive almost.

"Goddamn it, Reagan," His grip tightened on her shoulders. "I know you've lost too many people but so have I and I'm not lettin' you drift away too," He growled out before driving her back into the stall wall, body flush against hers. "I fuckin' care about you, yeah you heard me, I _care_ about you, I _care_ about what happens to you, I _care_ about what's goin' on in that head of yours, the things that are drivin' you away, the things that are keepin' you from comin' back," His eyes took on a glassy sheen and she felt a slice of guilt strike through her that she was causing him so much distress. "I ain't gonna let you go," He swallowed roughly and exhaled softly like he was fighting the emotions warring within him. "I ain't ever had someone care about me the way you do, it's fuckin' strange to me, neither my dad or Merle cared about me, Merle might have said he did but he really never did, he wouldn't have stayed with me when I got shot, but you, you did, you cared enough to sit in a chair beside me and wait until I woke up," He rested his forehead against hers, his breathing slightly ragged from his sudden outburst. "I need someone like you, someone who gives a shit about me, cares about what happens to me…" He hesitated slightly, a brief moment of internal fighting. " _I need you_ " He murmured before pressing his lips to hers and letting everything pour out into his kiss.

She swallowed roughly before returning the kiss and reached out gripping a fist full of his shirt keeping him pressed against her. Right now his contact was all she had, it was something to ground her in the present, a life line, and she couldn't just throw it away. Even if she did regret something later on down the track, right then and there, even if she didn't want to admit it, she needed him too.


	40. Chapter 40

Daryl watched Reagan as she sat at the picnic table and cleaned her guns, Carl sitting across from her watching intently as she showed him how to disassemble the L115A3 sniper rifle of hers and showed him how to clean it before showing him how to clean the Smith and Wesson Stealth Hunter revolver and then the Desert Eagle sidearm she also carried, the thing that struck him the most was that she didn't even have to look at any of the guns as she disassembled and reassembled them.

Lori hadn't initially been on board with the idea but both Reagan and Rick had talked her into it, Reagan citing that if Carl didn't know how to maintain a gun then he had no reason to carry one and Rick citing that if he didn't learn to clean it properly how could they expect him to protect himself, eventually after seeing sense she'd relented letting him settle down at the table with Reagan while she cleaned her guns. The longer he watched the more he realised she was a good teacher, taking it slow and teaching him properly, showing him with honed ease how to disassemble, clean and reassemble each gun.

He watched silently from his spot leaning on a tree beside the table, Reagan was busy chewing on the end of a long gummy worm, the end hanging from her lips as she reloaded her Desert Eagle's clip's while watching Carl clean the revolver he'd been carrying, occasionally she'd stop what she was doing and point to a part asking its name and what it was for, she'd quiz him, helping him learn from his mistakes and relay small stories about rookies and battlefield mistakes she'd seen in her military days.

Ever since his outburst the day before in the barn they'd been awkwardly dancing around each other trying to figure out what was going on between them, she'd confessed to some degree that she needed him as well leaving him to wonder just how deep that need ran, if it went as far as his, as far as to almost utter a simple four letter word he'd always sworn he'd never have a need for in his entire life.

His gaze caught her and she grinned roguishly. "What's wrong, saighdeoir? Want me to clean your gun too?" A flirtatious smirk graced her lips and he realised the double entendre almost immediately drawing a smirk to his own lips.

"If you want"

She took a bite out of her gummy worm still smirking. "Maybe later once we're all alone, just to make sure I give it the special treatment" A glimmer of the old Reagan he thought might never come back showed through for a few seconds as she gave him a wink and turned back to watching Carl cleaning the revolver.

Quinn had told him days before that everything was an act, that there was dullness in her eyes, that something was missing and the only reason she appeared fine was because she wanted everyone to stop harassing her about opening up to them.

He watched as she took a drink from the can on the table and grimaced as it went down, probably because it was warm and flat by now. She held out a hand and gestured to the Beretta tucked in his waist band when he didn't budge. He handed it over to her before she looked at it and tutted softly, he suddenly felt like he was going to be scolded by her as she showed the gun to Carl. "See, this is the kinda shit that'll get you killed," She unloaded it and snapped the barrel back, black flecks falling out from underneath it as she did. "When the hell did you clean this last, saighdeoir?"

He shrugged. "Ain't my gun, picked it up in town"

She sighed disassembling it quickly and laid the pieces out in front of her. "I don't have to give you a lesson on gun maintenance as well, do I?" She chided before settling into cleaning the pistol. He glared shifting and sitting down beside her taking the gun back before starting to clean it himself; he didn't miss the smile that slipped to her lips that she tried to hide behind her can of drink.

"Are you gonna have a kid with Daryl?"

He jerked slightly at the question and Reagan turned away choking on the mouthful of drink she'd just taken, half of it dripping out of her nose, he slapped her on the back suppressing a grin as she dried her hand off and looked back at Carl wiping her nose on her shirt sleeve. "Tell me you're takin' the mickey, kid. What in hells name gave you that idea?" She asked coughing and trying to regain control of her breathing.

The boy looked between them. "You guys work really well together, you'd make good parents" He said it so innocently like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Oh what I wouldn't give to have that childlike innocence again," She chuckled reaching across the table to ruffle the boy's hair. "But sorry to disappoint kiddo, ain't no sprogs comin' from this tag team anytime soon," She shook her head lightly. "It'd be too dangerous for everyone to have a rug rat around, too much noise every time they cry," She explained before placing a hand on her injury. "And my bodies gotta heal itself of that gunshot first, can't go bustin' my stitches open again"

Daryl kept his eyes on his gun as he cleaned it but couldn't help but wonder if maybe she'd thought about it at some point, something in her words made him suspect she had.

"What? You got nothin' to say, saighdeoir?"

He kept his eyes trained on his gun. "I ain't getting' involved" He was so sure she rolled her eyes at his answer and heard the barrel of her revolver snap back into place.

"Well then, I'm off for a ride, been itchin' for one since I started gettin' better, now's a good a time as any" She stood from the table and his head snapped up as she walked away with her weapons in hand. He quickly snapped his gun back together and went after her intent on stopping her, if she went out while she still wasn't 100% she would get herself killed and he wasn't about to let that happen.

"Hey!" He called after her as she disappeared into the stables and saw her poke her head back out.

"What?"

"You think it's a good fuckin' idea to go out there? Rick and Glenn said the towns crawlin' with walkers"

She rolled her eyes and started for one of the stalls. "You honestly think some flesh eatin' fucks are gonna stop me goin' out? I've had enough down time; I _need_ to see if Connor and Amelia went through the town"

He reached out and grabbed her shoulder turning her sharply to face him. "I ain't–" He barely had time to react as her hand grabbed his wrist and twisted it to render the limb immobile before weight pressed against him and he was driven back into the wall, a dull ache now spreading across the back of his head where it had connected with the wood, the horse in the stall behind him have a nervous whinny and paced a few steps; there was murder in her eyes as they bore into his, her lips set in a thin cruel line, another spark of the old Reagan coming back to life.

He swallowed roughly as he became acutely aware of the barrel of the stealth hunter digging into the tender flesh of the underside of his jaw, her arm pressed against his throat holding him in place and ready to cut off his air supply.

"Don't you _dare_ stand between _me_ and _my children_ ," She hissed, the barrel of the gun jamming up higher into his jaw and for the first time he wasn't scared _for_ her, he was scared _of_ her. "I like you a hell of a lot Daryl, I care about you, hell, I _need_ you in my life but I _will not_ let you stand between me and _my family_ " The emphasis behind her words was accentuated by small jabs from the guns barrel in his jaw, the anger seemed to have chased away the dullness from her eyes and he wanted to tell her this was what he'd been waiting for, for her to come back with that fire and passion he'd seen the first time he looked in her eyes, but having that fire turned on him had rendered him speechless and left him with a racing heart and no breath.

The growl that slipped from her sounded almost feral as she tore the gun away from him and pushed it into the back of her jeans as she turned on her heel and stalked out of the stable, fists clenched at her side and shoulders set in a tense line. He watched her go until her figure disappeared from his sight and he finally relaxed and rubbed at his jaw, he'd never thought she would be able to scare him like that but she had, she'd almost put the fear of god into him. He shifted uncomfortably trying to shake himself out of thinking too hard and headed back out traipsing towards his tent, his hands still trembling and breathing still shaky.


	41. Chapter 41

Reagan sighed softly stopping by her 'Am and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the boot as well as her cigarette's and a packet of sour gummy worms before starting towards Daryl's tent, Spud in tow as she traipsed across the paddock only stopping to light a cigarette before she continued on and came across the little campsite. _Well shit, Carol wasn't kidding._ She surveyed the campsite and then it's distance from the homestead. _Fuckin' bitch hermit._

"I thought I told you I didn't need you com–" He stalled as he came out of his tent and saw her. "Reagan?"

"Aye, expectin' someone else?"

He shrugged lightly. "Thought it was Carol comin' up here tryin' to talk me into comin' back to the camp"

She grinned softly and looked around the area. "Fuck 'em, I might join you out here, it's quiet for a change" She looked around the camp and spotted the squirrel's and walker ears tied to a line running from one tree to another and pointed towards them. "I like what you've done with the place"

"What're you doin' out here?"

She swallowed roughly and held out the bottle of whiskey. "Peace offerin'," She stated as he took the bottle. "I wanted to apologise for how I acted before, I didn't mean too, I just… shit, I don't even have an excuse other than I'm a terrible excuse for a human being" She felt awkward and embarrassed, unable to even look at him.

"…Thought it was pretty good to see the old you back for a change" He spoke after a few seconds of silence and she looked up at him wide eyed before she shook her head, incredulous that he didn't at least act a little angry about what had happened.

"You're a real piece of work, Daryl Dixon. Here I was almost shittin' myself 'cause I thought you'd want to thump me one after I jammed a gun in your jaw"

"You just want your babies back," He shrugged lightly and poked at the fire with a stick before tilting his head to the space next to him on the log. "Now sit that sweet ass down over here" He reached out tugging her hand slightly and she stumbled a step sitting down beside him heavily.

"Muppet, watch the injuries"

A tense atmosphere lingered between them as silence enveloped them and so she offered Daryl her hand, palm up, and waited for him to take it, after a few moments he placed his hand on hers and they laced their fingers together.

"…I really am sorry for what I did yesterday," She spoke softly breaking their silence, her eyes lingering on the fire he was poking at again. "I didn't mean to scare you or hurt you and I honestly don't have a good answer to why I did it," She turned to face him and watched him silently for a moment. "I'm not askin' for forgiveness and I'm not gonna promise you it's not gonna happen again 'cause it probably will but I– I guess I just want you to understand that somethin' in me is broken," She felt her hand tremble slightly and his grip tightened as he turned to look at her. "I'm not an angel, Daryl. I don't view myself as a _'good'_ person, but I– I truly do hate myself when I lash out and hurt the people I care about the most" Silence enveloped them again and he simply sat there and stared at her before reaching out and plucking the cigarette from between her lips and stamped it out as he leant in pressing his lips to hers before slowly pulling away and rested his forehead against hers.

"You might not be askin' for it but I forgive you" She felt somewhat relieved as his hand tightened around hers before he unlaced them and slid his arm around her waist pulling her closer to kiss her again as the last of the light bled out of the sky leaving the inky night to take its place.

Reagan placed a hand on Daryl's thigh to steady herself as he clutched her closer almost pulling her into his lap, she pulled back from his lips and a wicked grin graced her lips. "You know, I seem to remember sayin' somethin' about cleanin' your gun for you" His cheeks flushed slightly as she shifted to in front of him and slid to her knee's parting his legs and nestling between them before kissing him and running her hands down his shirt slipping each button from its respective loop. She pushed the shirt aside placing slow damp kisses down his chest and torso, her nails scratching lightly against his skin as they chased the path of her lips before she reached the waistband of his jeans and looked up through her lashes at him to find him staring intently, chest heaving lightly and mouth slightly ajar. His gaze met hers as she snapped the clasp on his jeans and unzipped them, his breathing turning shallow as she freed his cock from the confines of his underwear and began to slowly stroke him to full hardness.

She licked along the ridge of his cock listening as his breath hitched in his throat before a low moan slipped from his lips as she took him into her mouth and began to suck as she curled her hand around the base of his cock. She felt him shudder and let out a shaky breath as she worked him with both her hand and mouth until she felt a hand curl through her hair urging her faster. She met his intense gaze as he watched her suck down his cock, the knuckles of his other hand bleaching white as they gripped the log beneath him. "Keep that up and I ain't gonna last, Reagan" She smirked around his cock pulling back slightly to lick from base to tip again and felt him shudder, the hand threaded through her hair clenched tighter as his body twitched. She stroked his shaft placing a long flat lick to the tip not breaking her gaze from his and saw his eyes go wide and then flutter slightly as she repeated the process before finally sliding her mouth back down his cock taking in as much as she could. "Sh-shit" She heard his stuttered curse and felt his hand slip out of her hair to grasp her shoulder pushing back on it gently before he pushed back stronger and she finally released him.

"What's–" He cut off her words with a kiss and pushed her out flat on the ground bracing his weight on one hand as the other trailed down the side of her body and ran along the edge of her jeans before he snapped the clasp and began to tug them down. She lifted her hips to aid him and pushed herself up onto her elbows capturing his lower lip between hers and tugged on it gently as she curled an arm around his neck dragging him closer. As soon as her jeans and underwear were off his followed suit and he shifted to settled back against the log drawing her into his lap.

Reagan moaned softly as she sunk onto Daryl's cock, his lips quickly finding her clavicle, his tongue lathering the bone and teeth scraping against it as she rocked her hips against his. An arm snaked around her waist drawing her closer, her chest now pressed against his as she moved in a slow rhythm and tried to ignore the bite of pain from her injuries. She let her head fall forward and moaned into the crook of his neck as the friction and heat began to coil in the pit of her guts, and traced a line up the side of his neck with the tip of her tongue to his ear pressing her lips to it as he groaned into her shoulder and pressed light kisses along the expanse of skin then travelled up her neck and across her jaw before coming to a halt at the corner of her lips, his lips hovering just over hers as his eyes slid shut, forehead resting against her. She ran her thumb over the corner of his lips tugging them down slightly before pressing hers against his again, the heat and pleasure coiling even tighter as he rocked his up in a steady rhythm with hers.

A low gasping moan left her lips as her orgasm spread through her, and Daryl's moan rattled in her ears and against her throat as she felt him swell and empty himself into her. She shuddered, chest heaving shallowly, as his arm's tightened around her keeping their bodies connected as they rode out the last waves of pleasure. They stayed embraced for a few minutes until she finally pulled back and grinned softly at him. "Suppose we should get dressed before someone comes up here, lord knows where Carl might've wandered off too"

He grunted softly and inclined his head towards his tent. "Or we could just move it to the tent, more than enough room in there if you keep close," He matched her grin. "Less of a chance for you to get cold too" His fingers trailed over the skin of her arms and the goosebumps that had formed as the sweat began to cool.

She nodded lightly and slipped off his lap sitting back against the log for a few seconds to try and gather the strength to actually stand and move to the tent. She looked up in surprise at the hand that was extended to her and took it allowing Daryl to haul her to her feet, she stumbled slightly into his grip, cheeks flushing as he held her tight. "Come on, let's get some sleep" She pecked his lips and turned for the tent beckoning him after her with a crook of her finger.

Daryl gave a jerk of his head and grabbed the stick he'd been using for the fire and spread out the embers as she grabbed their things off the ground, the blankets and sleeping bags were a welcome sight as she collapsed onto them and pinched one of his pillows for herself drinking in the scent of him embedded into its fibres before she felt him collapse beside her and throw an arm over her waist. Part of her couldn't help but wonder what she'd do without him, if he got bit or killed she was sure it would damn near kill her, she wanted both Connor and Amelia to meet him, wanted them to like him. She groaned softly as she shifted onto her side and brushed a strand of hair out of his face before she kissed him and laced her fingers through his. Staring at him now, she knew exactly what she wanted, she wanted him to love her. _A love born out of disaster, somehow I couldn't see it happening any other for us, it seems so right._ She smiled softly and saw his own lips curve in a sleepy smile, whatever it was between them, the need they had for each other it wasn't just a sudden thing; it had been brewing for a while, simmering between them with each glance and touch they shared. _I love you, Daryl. I can't deny that and I don't_ _ **want**_ _to deny it but I need to know if you feel the same way before I just fucking blurt it out… or… that could possibly work too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so extremely sorry that this has taken this long to get out but life got away from me for a while, so much shit has been happening its been difficult to find time to write let alone post anything. So I'm still at my job, not loving it as much now because the boss I have now is absolute shit, the one I had before when I first started working was great, she was the best, I work nights all the time now so I'm far to tired to do anything before work and absolutely shattered when I get home from work. Met a guy, found out he was still married, ditched him because I'm not interested in being someone mistress, started online dating, met someone, turned out to be a prick and he just stone walled me until I'd had enough and said fuck you I'm done, my boss at the time (the super nice one I started with) introduced me to her cousin, we started dating, and guess what... we got married in May and now we're expecting a baby between April/May next year. Thing between us are a little difficult sometimes still because he's Samoan with basic English and I'm Kiwi with next to no Samoan, we're getting there with the language barrier but still have a few hiccups from time to time. Finally got a my license and a car sorted, got my dream first car, 2000 Toyota Celica 7th Generation, I love it to death, it rides so smooth and has the right amount of grunt that I need (really easy to speed in it though). At the moment I'm sick as a dog as well, doesn't help much but I'm not sleeping much, food is an utter turn off, and I cough up a lung every time I take a breath.


End file.
